a rainy day tuesday update

so since my last post things are much better. I think I needed to have a bit of a break down to start building back up.

Since then we've had quite a lot go on.

My dryer got a temporary fix as we wait for a new heating element thinger, my sister and I went shopping for my mom's birthday present while daddy stayed home with Malakai and I bought my first pair of post partem jeans- a size 9 (used to be a size 4/5). I'm not putting too much emphasis on that though as sizes in different brands vary and I went with the cheap Target stuff in hopes to be able to use my pre-pregnancy jeans sooner rather than later. Although- as I type this I'm wearing some maternity jean...I did daycare today and didn't want to get spit up on my new ones. haha.

Last Friday was Mema's birthday (my mom). We picked up my sister from her college dorm, grabbed a "you bake" pizza and headed out to the country where my parents live. We decided to stay overnight since we are usually hanging out at their place on Saturdays anyway. My mom, sister, and I played Wii on one side of the house while Ben, my dad (G'pa) and brother played xbox on the other.
The next day we decided to take Kai in the pool for the first time since it would probably be the last warm day and he got some adorable swim clothes from my cousin that will only fit now. Funny thing is, we had to cut the neck of the swim shirt to fit over his head...
Before cold water-

After cold water-

Sweet boy didn't like it very much. But we got this cute family shot-


Later that day we met up with some friends of ours that we haven't seen in almost a year. Jake, Kyla, & their new son Judah (born June 9th) live in the Dominican Republic as teachers and missionaries. Kyla and I were roommates our senior year of college and Jake was in a band with Ben back in the day. It was so great to see them and meet their son. The babies had some great playtime and Ben took lots of photos.




Malakai loved this playmat and it actually belongs to some other friends of ours who's son is a year old and they let us borrow it since he doesn't use it anymore. SCORE!

On Sunday evening our church had an evening service with worship, baptisms, and child dedications. We had Malakai dedicated that evening. Much of our family was there and it was a very special occasion for us.




Now I'm off to finish baking cookies while I wait for my husband to come home and my little sister to come over and watch Grey's with me.

sometimes it hurts

Although yesterday started off fun with the new experience of caring for two babies at my home, it didn't end up on such a fun note.
Ben was gone to work for 9 hours and when he came home Malakai was fussing and daddy wanted to spend time with him so I made dinner and Ben ate while holding our little guy. Once I was able to sit down and eat my dinner he was getting ready to leave again. He was only home for two hours before he was out the door for worship band practice- this is his first week back with the band. With the house dark and mostly quiet, the loneliness settled in. I've warned myself and even Ben about the possibility of this happening when he went back to work, but it still came as a surprise. Malakai continued to be rather fussy on and off, but a smile here and there kept me going. By the time Ben got home three hours later I was broken.
He made a comment about leaving an hour early on Sunday morning so he could get a ride with a friend to band practice and I could have the car to get to service later that morning. When I said something about it, he said "well you won't have to get up that early" and I responded with "it's not about that, it's that you won't be here for another hour."
Then I promptly changed the subject to getting Malakai to bed and we both quietly went about our routine.
Ben's so good about giving me my space when I'm upset if I don't want to talk about it just yet, but knowing how long to let things simmer so they don't boil over. He waited til I got ready for bed and asked if I was okay and it just all spilled out of me. I was stressed from the events of my day, my shoulders were aching from carrying around the babies, my heart was lonely for my husband, and I was missing actual adult conversation.

I cried...and it felt good.

With Malakai snoozing in between us we chatted about our days for a half an hour in the dark which turned out to be exactly what I needed.

I feel better, and all would be perfect if my dryer would start working again, Malakai would nap in his crib, and the bills would pay themselves. Oh well, no day is without it's demands.

a new venture

I just realized that I haven't mentioned a word about my new "job" on here and today was my first day.

Late last month I had emailed my former boss to let her know I was thinking of her on her first day back to work since having little Henry in May. She emailed back and mentioned that Henry wasn't in daycare yet because her husband was still at home. He's a grad student and teaches some courses at the University of Oregon so he doesn't start until next week. She also mentioned that when he does go back they'll be looking for someone to watch Henry a few hours a week.

My DREAM job would be to watch someone's kids and my own at the same time...and it is now mine!

Malakai decided to wiggle at about 6am this morning, which meant when he got back to sleep at 7am he was down til 9am. I was hoping he'd wake earlier and be napping when Henry got dropped off at 9:30 but he was bright eyed. He wiggled on his quilt on the floor while Henry's parents and I chatted for a bit. Henry's mama had a hard time leaving him, later she confessed that she cried.

Henry will be 4 months old this upcoming Sunday. He slept in his carseat for the first 20 minutes or so and when he woke up he was a happy little guy. whew! Henry's mom had brought a baby rocker that has a toy bar on it similar to Kai's swing but the toys are lower. I put Kai in that and he loved it. He played while I got Henry out and showed him around the nursery. He LOVES to stand up while being held and tried playing with Malakai's hands.



Once he needed to be changed though, he wasn't too happy anymore. For the next half hour Henry and Malakai took turns fussing with a grand finale of both of them screaming at me. Talk about a humbling experience! At one point I was holding them both- which was quite interesting. I finally got Malakai to calm down in his swing while I walked Henry to sleep. Luckily, Henry is a crib sleeper so I was able to put him down and pick Malakai up to rock him to sleep and put him back in his swing for a nap. WOW!



All of that occurred in only 2 hours, and Henry's mom picked him up at 11:30am. Luckily she had a meeting that kept her distracted from missing Henry too much. On her way out she told me that she's so glad that Henry is with us instead of strangers and that she's glad they can help us out (financially) to make my staying at home easier.

What a lovely little arrangement.

rather odd

As you'll witness by the following photos, my "side" of the family is rather odd...but we have fun and we love each other.

On Wednesday we celebrated my little sister's 19th birthday out at my parent's house. We had pizza and cake and watched Glee (at her request). We also got some pretty funny photos in an attempt to get a picture of the whole group...







Notice how I'm the only one posing like a normal person in every photo...none of them turned out "normal" but I guess it captures the essence of who they are.
As I look at these though I can't help but notice how baggy my shirt looks...it's a maternity shirt and it fits my chest but makes the rest of me look big. Any other new mom's still in maternity wear? I wear my normal looking mat tops on occasion and have no choice but to still wear mat jeans and shorts. Is it time to invest in some jeans in my current size or would that be a waste of money? I can't decide...

Then my brother Cody decided to have some fun with the camera...



Ben posing with Malakai...I'm not sure what kind of pose this is.


and THIS is why I've always been jealous of how close my siblings are to each other in age-





Well yesterday was Malakai's two month appointment and he weighed-

12lbs 15oz!!!

I couldn't believe it...my sweet little chunkers :) He also peed on the scale when being weighed right before I was going to ask the nurse how often they get peed on. haha. I still asked and she said it happens A LOT. The funny thing is that in the last two months I've only had it happen while changing him once. It's like he knew...it made me laugh.

My mom came with me to the appointment and the pediatrician was amazing as ever. She included my mom in the conversation and ooh'd and aww'd over my "perfect baby". She's been a doctor for over 20 years and loves children so much. I couldn't be happier that she's my little guy's doctor.

She confirmed that his testicle is descending and was amazed at how fast it happened. I give all the glory to God- this was definitely an answer to a lot of prayers from a lot of caring friends and family. Thank you.

Malakai was sweet and happy the entire time, even though I woke him up out of his carseat to be poked and prodded...but then came time for his immunizations. One quirky thing about his pedi is that she said that even at this age she thinks it's a good idea to let them know it's going to hurt...so I did and I was so sad for him. He was suckling away on his binky when he got the first one and he screamed the worst kind of screams but by the time the third one was done he was already settling down. He stopped crying,let me put his clothes back on and fell asleep in the car as usual. What a tough baby, huh?! I think I dwell on shots longer than he did. I kept thinking all day yesterday that he was going to wake up mad and in pain, but he never really did.

He slept in his swing for about an hour and then I brought him into bed with me so I could nap without worrying if he was going to wake up in pain in the other room. He napped for almost 4 hours straight! Tell me this though...if your little one naps in their swing do you keep it swinging the whole time? I am freaked out that it's too much swinging so I only let him swing til he falls asleep and then I turn it off....is that weird?

2 months old today!

I can't believe it!
Here's his 2 month photo...and of course he was all smiles after mama put the camera away. silly boy.


this month is "birthday month" in our family. MIL, mom, dad, sister, and brother all have their bdays this month. Today Malakai shares his two month "birthday" with his Aunt Nanner's 19th year! Happy day my loves!

Malakai update...and lots of photos

While I was changing Malakai's diaper the other day I thought I saw an extra bump where his undescended left testicle should be. I felt around and counted not one but TWO testicles! I literally yelled out with joy and then had Ben confirm my findings when he got home. It feels silly to write about my son's anatomy this way, and I'm not truly going to celebrate til his pediatrician confirms it at his two month appointment on Thursday but I'm just SO happy to think that our fears of surgery could be behind us already. Thank you God!

Ben's grandparents finally met Malakai last Thursday night. Here are a few pictures. Ben's grandpa cracks me up and I think Ben will look a lot like him when he's his age. I doubt he'll be as sassy though.



In other news...he has found his hands. His right one seems to be his favorite and he vigorously chews at it any chance he gets. It's adorable and sometimes hilarious, but he also gets a gnarly red mark on his face if he does it too long. But I'm sure it's silly to worry about such things.





On Saturday my best friend from High School was in town and gave us a call to see if she could stop by and finally meet Malakai. She was so excited to see him. I got some great pictures of her getting to know him. He needed to eat and we had just been out at a restaurant so I had a bottle ready. Ben was going to feed him but offered to have Lindsey do it...too sweet.




Yesterday was his first trip to the park...and I didn't get any photos. I know, it's so unlike me, but I didn't have my camera and am kicking myself right now because I did at least have my phone with me. I met up with a friend of mine who has a 1 year old boy named Titus and we had lunch and coffee at The Beanery down the street from my house (since my only means of transport while Ben is at work is my own two feet) and then we wandered over to the park across the street from my house. Titus played in the sand by the swings while Malakai ate and played on his blanket looking up at the sky. He was startled by the breeze a few times but otherwise seemed to really like being outside with so much to look at.
It was great to get out of the house and have adult conversation with someone who can relate to what I do every day. I have a feeling we'll make these stay-at-home mom dates a regular thing.

I can't stop taking pictures of my son- he's just so precious all the time! I take a lot of photos when he's sleeping.






I'm resisting the temptation to take pictures of him right now as he sleeps (finally)otherwise I might fill up the memory on our computer before he's 6 months old :)

Have a great week everyone...and wish us luck with our two month appointment and immunizations on Thursday! :(

I feel like a bad mama

I keep hurting my son...
I've caused him to bleed three times in his short life of just 8 weeks.
First I was peeling his toenails because I was too scared to clip them and he jerked his leg causing it too peel too low and bleed.
Second I was clipping his fingernails (due to the previous incident) after several successful nail clippings, but somehow managed to clip too low on one finger and again, bleeding.
Third- today I was taking him out of his wrap and somehow scratched his face!!!
He didn't cry any of the times... I cried all three.
I feel like a bad mama. My poor sweet boy :(

settling in...again

Having Ben start this new job sort of feels like starting over, the same feeling I had when the three of us came home from the hospital almost two months ago. Over the first 6 weeks of Malakai's life we got a pretty good routine going. During the day we'd all hang out and Malakai would nap on one of us here and there. Mama did the feeding and Daddy did the changing, even at night.
The transition to Ben going to work had kind of an awkward start. He worked last Wednesday, had Thursday off, worked Friday and then the three day holiday weekend and back to work yesterday. So today is the first time we've been without him for two days in a row.
It's harder than I thought it would be- the house is quiet and I'm already getting tired of the sound of my own voice as I sing Malakai to sleep. I'm really working on getting him to sleep in his crib. After 2 hours of trying to put him down and him waking every time I got out my wrap carrier and he's fast asleep between me and the keyboard. I was then able to put deodorant and some make up on and fix the rat's nest I have for hair back into a bun. Ben will be home soon and the most I've accomplished is trying not to look as hellish as I did when he kissed me goodbye at six this morning.
I'm okay with the way it's going, Malakai is still very young and I don't mind holding him for as often as he likes. I just want to get things done around our house so that it's a clean and peaceful place for my husband to come home to and all he has to worry about it playing and relaxing with his family. Thank God I married the most understanding man on the planet- I can't even imagine him saying a word to me about how awful I smell or how high the pile of laundry is getting.

I'm drinking one of those store bought frappuccino drinks...I really miss our coffee maker. Two years ago when we got married someone gave us this really awesome one that doesn't have a carafe, you just put your coffee cup against a lever and it comes out, kind of like a fountain drink machine. It bit the dust just before Malakai was born. I think I ran it through too many hot water cycles when I tried to clean it and it started leaking out of the bottom. My mom let us borrow her french press for a while which was heavenly, but I felt bad keeping it from her so I gave it back. I ordered a coffee maker online for only $15 and it comes with a free pound of coffee, I just have to remember to cancel my "membership" so I don't get charged every month for more coffee. So I'm just waiting for it to get here...

I have my post-partem appointment tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about finding out how the healing process is going. I had a 2nd degree tear and have looked at it maybe twice in the last 8 weeks. Some days it's still sore so I'm scared that things didn't heal correctly. I'm hoping that I'm just being paranoid and that everything is right as rain.

This past weekend was really busy. Friday night we stayed over at my in-laws for MIL's bday and spent the day with them all day Saturday. FIL took this picture of us


Sunday we stayed home from church to give the boy a break from people because Monday was a big family BBQ to celebrate both my parents and my brother's and sister's birthdays that are all this month. He got passed around from person to person and by that evening I really missed him and made sure we got plenty of cuddle time.

So here we go for the rest of the week, wish me luck in trying to figure this stay-at-home-mom thing out.

Thank You Sweet Baby Boy!

Malakai in what I call his "toga" swaddle- because he will wake himself up trying to get his arm out I just swaddle him this way.


Malakai decided that his gift to daddy in honor of his new job would be to sleep through the night for the third time. I'm so glad that Ben was able to get a full night's sleep before his first day.
I on the other hand woke up at 1am with a horrendous stomach ache and kept running back and forth between the bathroom and the bedroom to check on Malakai to make sure he wasn't stirring and waking up daddy.
Luckily after being awake for about an hour he went back to sleep just before 7am until 9am and I caught up on the sleep I lost last night and am feeling much better.
Ben came home for a quick lunch a minute ago and it sounds like things are going great. All he's doing today is meeting everyone and finding out what they do at the company. I told him that he should stop by the store and pick out whatever dessert he wanted to celebrate his new job. I'll also be making a REAL meal tonight of cheesy chicken casserole, one of our favorites.
Tomorrow Ben actually has the whole day off though because we have a funeral to go to. My great-grandma Ardith passed away on Saturday and the memorial and brunch are tomorrow morning. I'm so glad that Ben's new employer is understanding of him needing to be there- mostly I need him to be there, I don't think I could go on my own. It ended up working out well because the gal that will be doing some of his training is getting back from vacation tomorrow, so she'll have a chance to settle in and prepare that day.
It's interesting how life changes so quickly from Ben losing his job, our baby being born, family members passing, and a new job starting- everything can become very different in an instant. I feel so blessed, even with the loss of my grandma, I'm confident she's in a better place feeling no more pain and for that I'm thankful.

And I just think this photo is adorable and hilarious. Mama was playing dress up- this wasn't even after a bath, I just wanted to see if it all fit him yet...

College move-in & Family Reunion

weekend before last was a very busy one. Saturday afternoon my sister moved into her college dorm and began orientation. Families are invited for the first part of the day and then the students have a crazy packed schedule for the next three days before classes begin. I can't believe my baby sister is off to college!

She's attending Northwest Christian University which is where I graduated from in 2004, worked at from '05 to this past June, met my husband in 2005, he graduated from there as well in 2007. Also, my dad works there and gets a tuition benefit for my sister (wish he was working there when I was a student!). So I was a bit nostalgic about my dorm days and Ben & I knew more people on campus than my sister. In fact, I knew a lot of the incoming students as well since I had previously worked in Admissions. I was so excited for my sister and I had a feeling she was ready to get rid of us and start meeting new people.

We helped her set up her room, brought her some gifts for her computer set up (Ben oriented her to her new mac laptop), and had lunch in the quad with everyone else. There were a lot more activities that afternoon but baby boy needed to get home to eat and daddy and I needed a nap before heading to his parent's house.
My sister, brother, and Ben in Amanda's new dorm room

Malakai & I

MeMa gave Malakai his own nametag :)

MeMa (my mom) in Manda's dorm

Also on Saturday was a family reunion on Ben's dad's side. His aunts, uncles, cousins and 2nd cousins came down to Oregon from Washington and Alaska. We only see these family members once a year, in fact his uncle from Alaska hasn't made it down in the last couple years so this was my first time meeting him! I still haven't met all of my husband's family and we've been together for 4 years! Maybe this only seems strange to me because almost all my family lives in the same state and most are in the same county.

The first day everyone got together at a nearby lake lot that had been in the family since Ben was a baby. His grandma sold it a few summers ago but was able to borrow it from the new owners for the day. Unfortunately there isn't any shelter from the heat and I didn't want to be out in it all day with little Malakai so we didn't go. We met everyone for dinner at the in-laws house when they got back and were showered with gifts. I was totally not expecting it, but none of them had made it to my shower since they live so far away.

We went home that night and came back from brunch the next morning. It was so much fun to see the little ones that are both almost 2 years old and imagine Malakai at that age. We had brunch and everyone just visited for the whole day. It was fun but exhausting.

Some photos that Grandpa got of Malakai when he finally decided to wake up (after half the family had left!)

Family photo- Ben's parents, siblings, and us

LOOOOVE this picture of Ben looking so happy with our little boy

Grandma made winter hats for all the little ones- and HAD to get a photo even though it was 80 degrees out...


saying hi to great-grandma

He got the job!

Malakai's happy face...just because I can't resist posting a photo with each blog entry


Ben got a call this morning and was offered the job! He starts tomorrow bright & early at 7am. Now begins our transition into figuring out how to make sure daddy gets sleep at night when Malakai wants to be awake.

For the past few weeks the routine has been for Malakai to fall asleep for the night between 10pm and 11pm then he'll wake up around 2am and after being changed by daddy and fed by mommy half the time he crashes again and the other half of the time he'll be wide awake and want to have what we call "wiggle time" where he lays on the bed or a blanket on the floor and wiggles and coos until he's sleepy again. Then after going back to sleep he wakes up again somewhere between 5am and 6am to eat and again either conks back out or stays awake to wiggle some more and then sleeps another two hours.

Usually the wiggle time happens in bed between mama & daddy, but now that daddy has a new job we'll have to figure out wiggle time somewhere else. That's not really much of a problem, but I'm really going to miss those early morning moments where it's just the three of us and Malakai is so happy that neither one of us worries much about sleep because he's just too much fun to play with or just stare at.

Even though Ben hasn't worked for two months, he's really only gone unpaid for August. We had enough money from his vacation pay out at his last job and unemployment to get us by with bills and everything this past month. It may be a stretch over this month until he gets paid in October, but knowing that a steady paycheck is on the way is such a blessing.

Thanks to all of you who prayed for us and wished us well during Ben's time of unemployment. We really are so blessed that it didn't take longer for him to find a steady job. He's making the same amount of money he was at the job he got laid off from, but unlike his previous job this one has annual raises and he'll even have a wage review after 90 days!

The journey goes on as we adjust to this new job, having only one car, and continual changes that come with raising our first child.