Birth Story: Aurelia

If you'd read my previous pregnancy updates you'd know that we were getting pretty anxious for little sister to arrive. I was also getting nervous about the possibilities of facing a medical induction if the ultrasound showed she needed to come out or I made it to 42 weeks pregnant.

Thankfully, our fears were not long lasting as labor started the very next day at 40 weeks and 1 day. I had been having pre-labor for weeks and braxton-hicks contractions for months. I was discouraged that by my 40 week appointment the contractions hadn't made any progress since 38 weeks. I knew labor could start at any time and I don't usually put much merit into the weekly "progress" because I was used to it being actual progress! 

We were told the entire pregnancy that because of how early (39 weeks) and quickly my last delivery was (6 hours) that this one would likely be earlier, just as quick and possibly faster. So image our surprise when we saw 40 weeks for the first time in 3 pregnancies. It surely made us feel like she was overdue. Although our house has never been more clean and organized (and recleaned and reorganized). 

So back to laboring...last Friday I had tried to take a nap after dropping off Malakai at school and getting Desmond to down but I just couldn't sleep. Once it was time to go pick up Kai I crouched down on the floor to change Desmond and had a pretty intense cramping in my belly. I didn't think too much of it as I'd been having similar pains for a while, I just figured it was ligaments stretching because of my heavy belly. 

When we got to school Desmond announced that I had an "owie on the floor" to a friend of ours and I had to explain what happened. As I got the boys back in the car I had another one, but figured it was just the same cramping from bending over to get into the car. 

When we got home the boys settled into snack time and ironically I was texting with a friend of mine who happens to be a doula, asking her advice for how to get through an induced labor in case that was what the future held. While chatting with her I had a more intense cramping with back pain that made me realize I was having a contraction...or at least I had hoped. It was 3pm and Ben was going to be home in an hour, so I called him and asked if he could come home now but discreetly if possible. He was able to nonchalantly head home early. I didn't call my mom to come watch the boys right away because I hadn't had very many of these cramping/contraction episodes to absolutely convince me that it was time to go. However, it quickly picked up to every 10 minutes so I gave her a call and started to get our bag and the house ready. 

The whole thing felt off as the top of my belly wasn't really contracting, I was feeling all the pressure and cramping in my lower belly and back. I had back labor with Desmond, as he was turned incorrectly, but this felt considerably different. Still, I tried some pelvic rocking in hopes she needed to turn and the back pain would lighten up. I tried laying on my side as well but that just felt terrible. I was doing so when Ben got home and thankfully he was able to explain to the boys what was happening because my groaning was confusing them. Desmond pouted, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging his shoulders saying "I'm scared" which was sad and pretty adorable. They were both fine when we explained that I'm ok and this was good. 

When my mom arrived Malakai didn't want me to leave. I hadn't seen him all day between him being at Ben's mom's that morning and school that afternoon. When I explained that we'd be bringing baby sister home soon he asked if it could be tomorrow instead. Bittersweet for sure. I distracted him with an activity with Mima and we were off. 

Ben teased me to be quiet so the neighbor lady who has told us she's been on "labor watch" didn't come running out. I despise laboring in the car but the drive wasn't too terribly long, and while I said "this is the worst part!" I had no idea what I was in for. 

When we got to the hospital we were offered a wheel chair several times but I just wanted to move. Sitting was the last thing I wanted to do during a contraction. They were coming about ever 5 minutes and I'd only been laboring an hour by then, it was a little after 4pm when they put us straight into a delivery room. We asked why we skipped triage but the lady who checked us in just said "they must think you're ready". After she got our info and left we waited a while for a nurse to come get us settled and check my progress but it was taking too long so I just told Ben, get me in the tub! Which ended up being kind of funny because when the nurse came in she said were weren't even checked in all the way yet! They were good sports about it, and I knew I'd be staying anyway so they rolled with it. They were persistent about putting in a "hep-lock" IV, making sure I knew I'd be at increased risk of bleeding with this being my 3rd child but I stayed my ground and got my way. 

When we finally got checked in closer to 5pm I had progressed from 3cm and 50% effaced the day before to 4cm and 80% effaced. Finally, progress! When I was out of the tub I was mostly up and on my feet, leaning over a counter or the bed. I'd get intense shivers and when I was standing my knees would tremble through contractions. I did a lot of side lunges through contractions in additional efforts to decrease the back labor, but nothing was working. I spent a little time on the birth ball, but because the contractions were so low it hurt to be seated at all. 

When I got checked again, maybe around 6:30 pm I was 8cm and 100% effaced. They rolled in the carts and the Dr. and labor nurse were at my side. I was having contractions on top of each other and moving around as much as I could to get through them. They were more intense than either of my previous labors and I kept thinking that we had to be close to pushing if it was progressing this fast. Unfortunately I stuck around at 9cm for a very long time. The Dr. broke my water to speed things up but I barely noticed that she did it, no gush at all. I labored for longer but no real progress so the Dr. had to leave but the nurse stayed in case things picked up again. 

The entire time Ben was at my side to push on my back through every single contraction. He didn't complain once, even though I knew his wrists were aching. I could not have made it through a drug-free labor with out his love and encouragement and his physical support. I also prayed a lot, through each contraction and especially the harder ones I found myself asking God to be my strength in my time of weakness. As things got harder and I got more exhausted I kept asking him to strengthen me, and He did. Although I felt exhausted and discouraged when progress slowed but labor stayed difficult, I had a peace knowing that I could get through it and we'd soon be on the other side. 

By 8pm the nurse checked and there was still a small amount I needed to progress, which she was able to manually move out of the way to get things going. She declared me "complete" and called the Dr back in. When she called I overheard her say something technical that I didn't understand but that it meant I could have a lot of pushing ahead of me. 

As I got to pushing, the Dr. came in and was getting her scrubs on when I felt baby begin to crown. I let them know that it was happening and she rushed over. As I pushed Dr. K said "Oh, there's still membrane here!" meaning, my water wasn't completely broken. Then I felt a terrible pain as I was pushing and she was poking to break the water. I let out the most horrific scream, it was an odd out of body experience for a moment and then she was coming. 

The entire labor Aurelia was moving like crazy. It hurt a LOT when she moved and Dr. K even mentioned that she'd never seen a baby move that much during delivery. She was moving through her entire birth. 

As I delivered her head Dr. K discovered the reason for my back labor, it wasn't that her position was turned, she was actually faced the right way, it was that her hand was at her head, so I delivered her head and right hand/arm at the same time. One more push and then the rest of her was out at 8:27pm. I pushed for a total of 5 minutes. 

I reached for her and she was up on my chest and still wiggling wildly as the nurses looked her over and wiped her down a bit. She let out a scream and I asked "is she still a girl?" because no one had mentioned her gender and I could only see the top of her head at that point. They laughed and Ben helped me flip her over to confirm that we had a daughter.  Ben cut the cord and she settled against me under the warm blankets as we marveled over our little girl as the nurses and doctors worked around me.

A few moments later the room went from loud and crazy to calm and quiet, just the three of us and our labor nurse. Around 9pm I attempted to nurse for a bit, she latched but didn't nurse at first. She got frustrated a few times so I gave her a break until trying again and she got it soon afterwards. Meanwhile Ben called up family to announce her arrival and let them know we'd be taking visitors the next morning after the boys got a chance to meet their sister. 

After 9:30 Ben + our nurse took her stats, footprints, and bathed her. Aurelia was born at 7 lbs, 15.2 ouches, 21 inches long, 14 inch head (plus that fist!). She screamed through most of the bath, but then settled once she had some skin to skin time with daddy while I got to take a shower and get ready to move to our room for the night. 

We moved just after 11pm and were settled in just before 1am when Ben went to sleep. Aurelia nursed often and in between I couldn't really quiet my mind to sleep. I was having a lot of contractions while nursing and the adrenaline rush of childbirth kept me wide awake. Nurses were in and out of our room all night for stats and labs and such, so it was probably a good thing I wasn't asleep anyway. I took a small nap somewhere between 5-6am and then I was wide awake again.

I handed Aurelia over to Ben and they took a little snooze together. I texted my mom that we were ready for the boys to come see us whenever they woke up that morning. A little while later I texted our news to some friends + family, but waited to share her name until Malakai + Desmond and our immediate families had come to meet her. 

Later that morning my mom came with the boys and waited with the rest of my family while Ben brought Kai + Des to meet Aurelia for the first time. They walked in with such excitement, this picture of Desmond's anticipation at the chance to hold her perfectly portrays their feelings. 

Malakai got right down to business and wanted to know her name. He wasn't sure about it at first but he's grown to like it. They marveled at her tiny hands + feet and then quickly asked for a snack. 

Shortly after the rest of my family came in and then Ben's family. It was crowded and noisy but that room was so full of love for our sweet baby girl. A lot of photos were taken and the nurses did tests all around us to prepare us to go home. We were in the car by 1:45 Saturday afternoon, less than 24 hours since we had arrived to labor and delivery the evening before. 

That night, at the boys' request, Ben's mom had them over for the night. It was almost luxurious to be able to focus on just caring for her and getting some rest for ourselves that first night home. Ben made dinner, we watched the football game and even had some evening visitors before crashing hard. 

Ben had a week off of work, which was so wonderful while settling in and recovering from delivery. The boys loved having him home so much that the following Monday was ROUGH when they had to say goodbye. Such a bittersweet moment. 

It's been 3 weeks since our little sweetheart was born and we are falling more in love with her every day. I have felt an overwhelming feeling of completeness since her arrival, especially once our boys were back home with us and settled in. We are getting into some sort of routine with taking Malakai to school in the afternoons, although Desmond has decided this week that he doesn't want to nap. I'm hoping it's a phase but being that he's nearly 3, we could be seeing the end of his naps around here. Malakai has loved helping out, he'll bring me anything I need while I'm nursing or changing a diaper and while it took him 3 days to be ready, he now wants to hold her all the time. 

Thanks for all the well wishes, to those of you who brought meals or are signed up to bring them in the coming weeks, the gifts for baby girl and all the love on social media. We feel so supported and blessed by our community of family and friends. 

Mystery Ailment: Part 3

This is the last post of updates on Desmond's illness. Click through to read part 1 and part 2. 

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Once we found out all that was supposed to happen at the hospital, we prepared ourselves for the onslaught of tests that our little Desmond would have to endure.

We hadn't eaten dinner yet and the cafeteria closes at 7:15 so Ben ran down to grab us some food while we waited on x-ray. We took turns eating and being by Desmond's side. Thankfully x-ray was done in the room and was rather quick. 

After that Des was wheeled down for his ultrasound. By then he was really tired and ready to be done, sadly we were just getting started. The ultrasound took a long time and he had to lay on Ben to stay still. He got so upset that the tech wasn't able to find his appendix as you have to push rather hard to get the equipment in position to see it. We were informed that this was actually good as the appendix would be inflamed and easy to find if he had appendicitis. 

When we got back to his room we finished eating and turned on the tv to keep him preoccupied until the nurses came to put his IV in. Sadly, the first two attempts failed because he was slightly dehydrated, making his veins harder to get to. They gave him a break before another nurse came and tried again. It was quite the ordeal, and once it was taped on it actually leaked so they had to untape and retape which was painful. It was misery watching him go through all of this and not being able to help.

They started him on IV fluids and thankfully let us wait a while after that to see if we could get him to pee in a cup on his own so we could avoid a 2nd catheter. He had been complaining of pain all day since his catheter that morning. I cheered when we were able to get him to go in the cup, knowing that was one less painful ordeal he would have to endure. 

In between tests and exams I was able to update family and friends on our situation. We immediately had people offering to brave the icey roads to bring us anything we needed. People all over were praying for our sweet boy, we felt very loved amidst a scary situation. 

Ben + I took turns sleeping with Desmond in his bed, the other in the "day bed" that felt more like sleeping on a concrete slab. After a round of fluids they started his antibiotics and we got a few chunks of sleep here and there. There are a LOT of noises in the hospital so none of us could get much sleep. Children have a security monitor on their leg and Desmond's kept coming unstuck, setting off an alarm in the hallway. The IV can only be set for 2 hour increments so that would beep every time it needed to be reset. His bed was an air bed so it would whoosh and groan to adjust the pressure every time you moved and there was a constant rush of air from the ceiling. The nurses also took vitals every 2-4 hours and the nurse he had that first night came in at 2am with way too much pep in her step. She told me he could just sleep through what she was doing, which he was, but then she started to talk to him and woke him up. I was not a happy mama bear. 

4am they started his 2nd dose of antibiotics and I was awake for the day by 6:30. At that point, Ben was in bed with Des and they slept another 2 hours while I sat and prayed and updated friends on Facebook.

{keeping a 2 year old in bed for 15 hours is not an easy task}

That morning we got to FaceTime with Malakai while he was still at Amy's. The boys were pretty excited to see each other.

Dr. R from our pediatrician's office came in that morning to check on Desmond. She said she'd like to see him off fluids to get him to drink on his own. Having him off fluids meant he only had to be attached to the tubes every 8 hours for 30 minutes to administer the antibiotics. This was so great for how stir crazy the poor kiddo was getting. We were able to take him out in the hallway for a walk and in to the play room across the hall. 

Ben's parents were able to come visit and his dad took Ben over to pick up Malakai and to our house for a few things for us as we didn't have time to pack our own bags. Malakai came to visit and was so excited to see us, but more so to see Desmond. They greeted each other with an enthusiastic "Hi, Brother!" Kai was able to go with Des for his first walk around the unit, check out the playroom with us and eat lunch. Ben's parents took Kai back to their place for the 2nd night and he got to play in the snow before it turned into freezing rain.

My parents weren't able to come visit because my mom had a fever plus they live much further away so it wasn't a good idea for them to drive in the snow and ice. I updated them by phone and text when I could.

Des napped and we watched a lot of Disney Jr. Ben's mom left her iPad for him to play with as well. We watched the snow fall non stop outside our window, we were thankful for such a beautiful view.

We did all that we could to pass the time and keep Desmond comfortable and happy. He started to eat better and was drinking a ton by Friday evening. We were still waiting on a culture from the blood they took when they started his IV to see what kind of bacteria he was fighting. That night we all slept much better. It helped that our overnight nurse was as quiet as a mouse when going about taking vitals and hooking/unhooking tubes for his meds.

Unfortunately Malakai + Grandma didn't sleep so well. Kai was complaining of ear pain and couldn't sleep. He was pretty miserable so they brought him to the hospital and Debbie and I walked him down to urgent care on the other side of the hospital while Ben and Grandpa stayed with Des. After a bit of a wait we found out Kai had a fever of 103 when we got back to see the nurse. Of course I immediately had visions of both of my boys being admitted to the hospital with mysterious infections. I was overwhelmed on top of being overwhelmed. During the 45 minute wait in the exam room, Kai fell asleep on my lap.

After being examined by the doctor (who was really great with Kai and even made him laugh) he was diagnosed with another double ear infection. Although an ear infection doesn't cause fever, so he also though Kai might be fighting off a virus as well. We got a new prescription for antibiotics and headed back upstairs to Desmond's room. He had just finished up his last dose of antibiotics.

We ate lunch (thanks to a generous delivery called in by a friend) and waited for Dr. R to come check on Des and let us know if we could take him home. She came shortly and told us his 48 hour cultures were negative and that his most recent labs were much better. His white blood cell count came down from 39,000 to a normal 10,000. Since no bacteria grew on the cultures the diagnosis was vague. We were discharged with a diagnosis of "fever of unknown cause" which is frustrating, but I knew I could discuss it further with his doctor at our follow up appointment. All I cared about was that my baby is well and I get to take him home. We got a prescription for antibiotics and Grandpa went to pick up both the boys' meds and was back just before Des was discharged.

{goodbye snowy hospital}

We got home safely through the snow that was under a thick layer of ice from a storm the day before. Ben carried each of us in the house because there was no clear path through the ice. We settled in and relaxed as best we could.

{Can you tell Kai missed his Desmond?}

On Sunday we were looking forward to a full day at home to recover from all these events when I got a nasty headache. My mom encouraged me to take my temperate and I had a fever. I took some tylenol and waited it out, but felt miserable all day. I went to the doctor on Monday for a flu test and it came back negative. My doctor did say he thinks I have a stomach virus and I'd probably feel bad for a few days. Just what we needed, another illness.

On the bright side, we have amazing family and friends. They've all rallied around us in prayer. Some braved the storms and brought us food to the hospital, and other have started a meal train to bring us dinner while we settle back in at home and recover now that I'm sick as well. It's so humbling to receive so much and be able to give nothing back (at least at the moment), and I'm doing my best to let it be and just feel the blessings overflow as we heal. I know there will be an end to these miserable sicknesses even though it's hard to see through it.

Yesterday morning we had a follow up appointment for both boys. Malakai's exam was simple, his ears looked great! We were also informed that about half of ear infection patients do develop a fever, like Kai had. I was so thankful that he would finally be back to himself.

We originally scheduled with Dr. R because Dr. B didn't have any openings but when she saw that we were there Dr. B "stole" us- which was very sweet and I really appreciated that she wanted to follow through with Desmond's care and give us the information she'd gathered directly.

She confirmed again that nothing grew on the cultures, but she explained that it's actually quite normal to not be able to grow bacteria, even when it's present. Due to the volume of blood you'd have to use to get enough bacteria to grow in a petri dish, it's common to get no growth. So her diagnosis is that he did have bacterial sepsis based on all of his symptoms and his response to the antibiotics. She had even called an infectious disease specialist at Dornbecker Children's hospital to confirm her diagnosis.

It was nice to get information but it was also scary to think that Desmond had such a serious condition. I'm even more thankful for a pediatrician that took the right steps and got our boy well without any complications. What a blessing that Desmond is already so healthy after being in the hospital less than a week ago!

We so appreciate our beloved Dr. B and all the caregivers at Eugene Pediatrics. Malakai especially likes it there because they always let him play with their tools. His favorite is the otoscope and even Desmond got into it and played with the stethoscope.

We came home and had popsicles with our lunch to celebrate a clean bill of health!

Now, after nearly 6 weeks of illness, we are on to getting me healthy and keeping everyone else healthy as best we can in this doozy of a season. Once again, thank you for all your support and prayers!

Mystery Ailment: Part 2

Due to overwhelming amounts of detailed information in these updates, 

I've split them into separate posts. Find Part 1 here + 3 here.

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Wednesday Des was acting like he felt better, but usually only when he had a good dose of tylenol or ibuprofen in his system. He'd start to crash again an hour or two before we could give him another dose. The on call doctor gave us permission to switch by and forth between ibu and tylenol to help with that. We decided that if he felt sick in the morning we'd call again to have him seen by his main pediatrician as he was seen by another doctor in their practice and a nurse the last couple of times. 

Come Thursday morning he started vomiting at 5am. After cleaning him up and getting him back to sleep for a couple hours Desmond woke with a fever and it was getting higher. His temp hit 105 at 8am and I immediately gave him tylenol to try to lower it. He was still complaining of belly pain, as he has been since Monday night. I called his pediatricians office as soon as they opened to make an appointment. They got us in on a cancellation with our beloved Dr. B so I rushed us out of the house to drop Kai off at Grandma + Grandpa's and headed to Eugene Peds...in the snow.

That morning it had started snowing just before sunrise. It wasn't too bad so Ben went ahead and drove to work. He goes really early so this was before Des' fever got real high. By the time I left there was quite a bit of snow on the ground and I don't really drive in snow. I took my time driving slowly and cautiously. I only had slight trouble at a couple stops when I tried to go again and slid a bit, but was able to correct it quickly with no problems. 

We got to Dr. B's office at 9:40am and due to his fever and slight cough Des got to wear a lovely little mask. He was amazing about it, he just wanted to play trains. He didn't have a lot of energy and he'd been breathing heavily, but he was talkative- narrating what he was doing while playing.

It was such a relief to see his primary care physician. I trust all the other doctors and nurses at their office, but there is a deeper trust with your main doctor that gets built over having them care for your children over time. 

She poked at his belly and listened to his lungs as she did a thorough examination to figure out what was going on. She mentioned that if this had been accompanied by diarrhea she would have thought it was the stomach flu for sure, but quite the opposite, Desmond hadn't been going poo very often at all. 

She assured me (but I already know) that she would make decisions for Desmond like she would if he were her own son and said we needed to get a urine sample and go in for blood work. My heart sank. I've overcome a fear of needles over all the blood draws and such that they do during pregnancy, but I didn't want my little guy to have to go through any of that. Sadly, to get the best result they wanted to do a catheter for the urine sample. 

The catheter failed miserably and was extremely painful. He must have just emptied his bladder, so they put a bag in his diaper to catch the urine next time he peed between then and our going over to the lab for the blood draw. I called Ben and he met me at the labs. I knew I wasn't brave enough to hold Desmond through it. I'm so thankful he was there, I got light headed and had to sit down. Des whimpered and cried a little, but was really brave. 

It was nearly noon and due to the snow I wanted to drive as little as possible. It hadn't stopped all morning so the roads were covered and it was still coming down. The lab was close by to Grandma's so I drove to pick up Kai and met Ben at home. We fed the boys lunch and Ben worked from home while Des napped and Kai + I played a bit. We expected to hear back on Desmond's labs by 4 at the latest as they put a rush on the results and would page Dr. B directly. 

Just before 5pm I decided to call in, but the pediatrician's office had closed early due to the snow storm so I got the answering service. They took a message and paged Dr. B because thankfully she was the doctor on call at the time. They tell you to call back if you don't hear in 20 minutes, which I hadn't so I did. They said they'd been paging her and would try again. I was worried that perhaps she had trouble in the snow. Turns out she was still in the office catching up on things, she called me back just before 5:30 as Ben waking dinner. 

During all of this I wasn't too worried about hearing back because Desmond woke up from his nap a couple hours earlier in a great mood and no fever. The tylenol had even worn off by then and he was acting himself. 

The first thing Dr. B said was that she knew I wouldn't be expecting this, but Desmond's results were not good. She said was really sorry but if he were her son, she'd take him directly to the hospital. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My voice started to crack and Ben looked at me from the kitchen with wide eyes trying to figure out what was going on. He was just about to toss some spaghetti into boiling water when I waved him off while listening to Dr. B explain the results. 

Desmond's white blood cell count was much too high and his other results were not great either. I explained that his fever had gone and he was acting fine, but she insisted that even so she felt in her gut that he needed to be in the hospital. I told her I trusted her opinion completely and we'd pack up to go. She asked if we'd be able to meet her at the hospital in all this snow, that had now turned to thick sheets of ice, or if she should call an ambulance. Ben was sure we could brave the weather. 

Ben dropped the noodles on the counter and turned off the stove and we started to make preparations. I called Amy, who lives a block away, and I burst into tears. All I could manage was a shaky "We have to take Desmond to the hospital" and she immediately told me "Bring Kai right over!" So I ran outside to start the van to thaw and  we packed both boys a bag quickly, I grabbed a couple snacks for us since we were missing dinner. I backed Ben's car out of the driveway blindly, it was covered in such a thick layer of ice and snow I didn't have time to thaw it out. I attacked the ice on the van until Ben came out to take over. It was so thick after just 5 hours that it broke the scraper in half. 

Ben grabbed Kai out of the car and carried him up to Amy's house. Malakai was thrilled for his very first sleepover at a friend's house (Amy's son Nate is just a little younger than Kai + she has a baby, Luke who Kai also adores). Thankfully he wasn't scared and didn't know to worry about Desmond, as worried as Ben + I were. I texted Amy directions for bed time and such on our way to the hospital. 

Desmond was still in a great mood and asked us where we were going. When we said the hospital, he said "OK!" as we had just been there for x-rays 2 days earlier and he seemed to enjoy the adventure. We slid at an intersection once as we tried to start from a stop light, but we made it safely in the terrible weather. I did NOT enjoy that drive!

We grabbed his bag and headed to the front desk in the lobby at Sacred Heart Medical Center Riverbend where both boys were born and where Malakai had his hernia surgery a couple years earlier. We were led upstairs to the pediatric floor and immediately admitted. Dr. B met us in Desmond's room and explained his results more thoroughly. His white blood cell count should normally be less than 15,000 was elevated to 39,000. He also tested as anemic and low blood sugar. His crp levels (which I don't really understand) were elevated, which apparently isn't good either. All of these things indicate a dangerous infection somewhere in his body. Her plan to rule out Bacterial Sepsis was to get a follow up chest x-ray to make sure the pneumonia hadn't become visible after the last one. Then have an ultrasound on his abdomen to see if there were any abnormalities and to check on his appendix. Third, was to recheck his urine and lastly was to administer IV antibiotics for 48 hours. That's when we realized we were in for a long stay.

Mystery Ailment: Part 1

I wrote the following post on Wednesday Feb 5th before things took a turn for the worse the next day. 

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My poor sweet family can't catch a break from sickness lately. At least 2 of us have been sick at any given time for the past month and not one of us has been spared. Thankfully, we did have a small reprieve for Ben's birthday this past Sunday, but it didn't last long.

Yesterday I went to the doctor after a month of coughing my life away and was diagnosed with a sinus infection. What a pain, but I am glad to have some medicine now and that there is an end in sight to this suffering. 

Desmond came down with a high fever suddenly on Monday. He was his happy unruly self and then suddenly he said his tummy hurt and he was burning up. That night he and Ben were up all night and Des threw up so we thought it must be (ANOTHER) stomach virus. Until the next morning when his fever shot back up and he was breathing erratically.

 Since I am still feeling miserable, Ben took Desmond to the doctor. He saw a nurse practitioner who called in one of the doctors and they couldn't quite figure out what was bothering his tummy. Thankfully they ruled out all sorts of serious conditions like appendicitis, he also tested negative for flu. Due to his shallow breathing they sent him in for a chest X-ray. No matter how bad I felt I had to be there for that.

{waiting sweetly for his x-ray}

My angel-neighbor Amy took Kai so I could go to the hospital with Ben and Des. By that point the ibuprofen they gave him at the pediatrician kicked in and he was talking up a storm. He breezed through the x-ray and we headed home. 

By the time we got home he was exhausted and hungry. We were thrilled that he had an appetite again, he hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. I went down the street to bring Malakai back home and by the time I got back Ben and Desmond were both asleep. Ben has been my rock through all of this, even when he was sick a couple weeks ago he still took care of all of us, sacrificing the rest he needed so the rest of us could get healthy.

We later found out that Desmond's chest x-ray was clear for pneumonia so our instructions are to keep an eye on him and call back if he vomits again or his fever gets worse. 

It has been so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. We struggle to get through each bout of sickness only to get hit again and harder. I know this is normal with small children, but this has been the worst season for us by far. I'm so glad to have a handful of people in my phone that I can text at any time to lift up a prayer or run an errand for us. My father in law, Ron picked up dinner and my antibiotics last night so we can focus on keeping Des comfortable. Amy has been dousing my children and I in essential oils to relieve symptoms here and there. Ben's work has been extremely understanding of his need to care for family (it helps that he is such a hard worker, he always catches up).  I know that God is reaching down through all these people to bless our family in this needy time. My incessant prayer now is for a total healing over all of us and a nice LONG reprieve from all that has been ailing us physically.

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Due to the content of these posts being drawn out and detailed, I've split this update into separate posts.
Find Part 2 here + 3 here.  

Kai's 1st ER trip...

A while back we had taken Kai in to urgent care for a sprained ankle, but we haven't had any issues since then. Saturday we had no obligations to do anything or be anywhere, so we decided to go watch the game at Ben's parents' place. When Kai got out of the car he tripped and fell onto the pavement, picked himself up and then fell again. He said he was okay and played pretty rough in the backyard afterward so we didn't worry about it.

Later the boys took a laundry basket ride through the house and almost tipped over, and Kai stretched out his arm. Then he yelled out in pain and we were frantically trying to figure out what was wrong. His arm was red and he had a small scratch so we thought maybe he scraped it on the basket. However, he was crying our periodically and he isn't usually that sensitive. We chalked it up to missing his nap earlier, but as I watched him he wasn't using his left arm at all.

{trying to cheer him up: Vanessa + David playing with glow bracelets}

I decided to call our pediatrician's office and speak with a triage nurse. She gave us some instructions to check for a dislocated shoulder or elbow but Kai wouldn't let us move him enough to really tell. When we touched him, he'd scream. So the nurse said to take him into the ER to get checked out.

Since we were away from home and it was bedtime for Desmond we decided that Ben would drop Des and I off at home and he would take Kai in. It killed me to not go and later when Kai was crying for me, I called Ben's brother David and his girlfriend Vanessa on their offer to stay with Des so I could go.

{in the waiting room with Daddy. in the exam room with Grandma}

By the time I got there I had missed the X-Ray they decided to do (because of where he claimed the pain was) and the repair of what ended up being "nursemaid's elbow" Something we didn't really expect because of where he was saying it hurt and that nobody had touched him. Apparently he had jolted it just right when on his laundry basket ride. It's amazing to me that something so small caused this issue after all the crazy falls he has had with no injury (boys!). The doctor set it before I got there and I came in to a different child. He was smiling, eating a popsicle, and using his left arm like nothing had happened. Although, he was very sleepy.

Ben and I traded places and as he headed home to Desmond, I waited with Kai and Grandma Debbie (who was visiting while on shift at the hospital) for our discharge papers. When they came the nurse joked for Kai to sign and he grabbed the pen and scribbled on the line. She was pretty surprised and it made her night. That's my funny boy!

As we were leaving the parking lot Malakai told me "That was a really nice doctor. We had a fun time." (for more quotes like this, follow @kaithoughts on instagram). He clearly wasn't traumatized by the experience, thankfully. He fell asleep about halfway home and snoozed peacefully all night.

{still wearing his glow sticks}

We are so thankful that it was a quick fix and that we don't have to deal with a 3 year old in a cast...not yet anyway!

Birth Story: Desmond

It's interesting trying to recount labor and delivery the second time around. I'm still in awe that I've done this twice and am now the proud mama of two sweet boys. It's only been 11 days, so I guess I'm allowed to still be reeling.

If you're caught up around here, you'll remember that on Wednesday October 5th I had a small incident that landed me in the hospital for 20 hours. Everything was fine, but protocol was extended monitoring of both myself and baby to be certain. On Friday I went in for a follow up with my OB as well as my regular weekly appointment. Baby still sounded great and I had progressed to about 4cm, 50% effaced. To me that was "nothing" since I walked around at 4cm for 2 weeks before active labor kicked in with Malakai. I knew very well not to get my hopes up over a little progress since my body seems to like to hang out in early labor for weeks. Dr. M told me to just go into labor that weekend since she'd be on call, also because she'd then be gone the following 3 days. Obviously my body didn't listen.

On the night of Sunday October 9th I woke up to a few uncomfortable contractions here and there but was able to go back to sleep. I didn't really think much of it and thanks to Kai I was able to sleep in til almost 8:30 that morning (normal wake up time is 6:30am). God knew I needed my strength! At about 11:30 am I was feeling some stronger contractions coming in waves about every 10-15 minutes. They weren't too regular at first, but intense enough to make me wonder. I decided to put on a movie for Malakai so I could lay down on the couch and see if labor progressed or slowed.  I texted Ben to let him know what was going on and that I'd keep him posted. I also asked him to assure me that if I was in labor that it didn't matter that my doctor was out.

{Kai letting me "relax"}

At 12:15 I had a very intense contraction while lying down. I got up and while they got closer together they got a little more mild but by 12:30 they were every 3 minutes and coming on stronger. I called Ben but told him I was hesitant to have him come home since I hadn't been having contractions for very long. He had already missed work for the previous week's incident and we wanted to save up vacation time for after Desmond arrived. He suggested I wait another 15 minutes or so. After two very intense contractions I called him 6 minutes later and said "It's go time!". So he started towards home which takes between 20-30 minutes depending on traffic.

Meanwhile I had started cleaning house to ensure that we wouldn't come home to a mess. It didn't take much as Ben and I had been doing a lot of deep cleaning and organizing the previous weekend. I unloaded, reloaded, and ran the dishwasher. Sorted and washed a load of Kai's laundry as he was out of pj's, cleared a bunch of clutter out of our living room, swept and wiped down the kitchen and family room and packed last minute things for our hospital bag. All the while pausing to sway and breathe through contractions about every 2-3 minutes. I was writing the times down because my ipod with the contraction application had died. Apparently I'm a crazy person. Looking back, I can hardly believe I actually did all that as I labored.

Ben got home a little after 1pm. He was expecting my mom to be there and for me to be ready to go to the hospital. I hadn't even called my mom yet and Kai still needed to be put down for his nap. So Ben worked on getting big brother to sleep and I called my mom to let her know she could make her way over, but there was no rush. I really wanted to labor at home some and not be at the hospital forever. I also wanted Malakai to be napping since he doesn't go to sleep well for others. He was really protesting his nap, I'm sure he could tell there was something going on. It was after 2pm by the time he was snoozing and we were ready to get out the door. At about that time I was starting to feel some pain in my back with each contraction. I casually mentioned to my mom that I was hoping not to have back labor.

We got checked out in triage at the hospital and I had progress from 4cm and 50% that Friday to 5cm and 90% effaced. The monitors showed my contractions coming strong and often and the nurse called to get us a room in Labor + Delivery, calling me "a keeper" which was music to my ears after having been sent home from there too many times before.

At about 3pm the L+D nurse hooked me up to monitors again in our room for a bit while she went through the admission information. She was explaining everything she did to the other nurse, I could tell she was training her. I think I would have been irritated if labor were the same as it had been with Malakai but this time around I actually got rest in between the contractions and was in good spirits. I was much more focused and I was talking myself up positively as much as I could. I kept telling Ben "I can do this, I am so good at this" which sounds funny, but really helped me.

Once they finished with admission and monitoring I got unhooked and immediately took advantage of the jacuzzi tub. I was still having some intense back pain through each contraction, so Ben would press hard inward on my hips to help relieve the pain each time. At every two minutes, you could imagine his wrists were getting sore, but he powered through and was incredible the whole time.

Since I was able to talk and relax between contractions I decided I could eat something. Who knew how long we'd be there and I wanted to make sure to eat something since I didn't really have lunch. I was so hungry that I wanted to order just about everything on the menu but Ben wouldn't let me order anything heavy. I was kinda bummed but knew he was right about skipping the chicken strips. I got a turkey sandwich and ate half of it between contractions. Little did I know that I would deliver before dinner!

I got out of the tub before I got too warm, which was key since last time I got entirely too hot and then way too cold. I labored on a birthing ball and began to feel some pressure, so the nurse decided to check my progress. 8cm! It had only been an hour and I progressed 3cm. The nurse told me she'd be calling the on-call doc as I could easily go from an 8 to pushing within 15 minutes. I wish that had been the case!

The doctor arrived shortly after and checked my progress again. She said I was at a 9 but if I felt like pushing with the contractions I could and it may help me progress the last little bit. She also broke my water around 5pm. I pushed some in a squatting position but it surely didn't feel as though I was making progress and the back pain was getting to my legs. Both the nurse and doctor said that I was stalling and having pains because baby hadn't turned all the way for delivery. Bearing down through contractions could help that, as well as changing my position. I lay on my side through a few but Ben couldn't push on my hips to help with the back labor, which was notably more intense. After another check and changing of positions someone suggested my hands and knees so we tried that through a few until I became so exhausted that I had to lay down. I landed on my left hip with one leg up on the squat bar and suddenly that did the trick and I was pushing Desmond out. The pain and the pressure were intense, Ben said I held my breath so long while pushing that I turned purple at one point. It felt like forever but I had 2 nurses, the doctor and Ben cheering me on that he was coming and that I was getting him here so I kept going despite feeling (and saying) that I couldn't do it. My body was exhausted and the fatigue was more of a road block than the pain. It felt like forever between hearing that he was crowning, to having his head out and then another forever for the rest of him, which was very different than my previous experience.

At 6:12pm after only 7 hours of active labor, Desmond Lee Pottorf was born. Someone told me to reach down to pull him up which was confusing since I was laying on my side. Then I suddenly had a very dark haired and scrunchie faced baby boy on my chest, Ben was smiling wide, and we were both laughing out of pure joy. We stayed that way for an hour as the nurses and doctor cleaned up and prepped me for stitches and got the room ready for Desmond's first bath and my getting to eat the dinner that had just arrived. God bless that nurse for thinking ahead and taking our order before the kitchen closed. She was experienced enough to know that it was going to happen fast!

Before cleaning us all off Desmond fed for the first time and did wonderfully. Then Ben gave him his first bath, the nurse commended him for being so at ease through the whole process. I'm sure he didn't feel that confident the first time around, but he was wonderful. Once I showered and we ate dinner they moved us to the Mother/bBaby Unit of the hospital.

Around 9pm my mom brought Malakai to meet his little brother for the first time. He was super sweet and gentle. He rubbed his hair a little, said baby brother and called his hair purple. Then he immediately climbed up on the couch and asked to watch tv.

{first look}

Next my parents and siblings came to meet him and shortly after Ben's mom came over. She works in the NICU of the hospital and had been eagerly waiting for Kai to meet him before coming over. It got late quickly so everyone left around 10:30, including Ben. He went home to put Kai to bed and then return to stay the night with Desmond and I in the hospital. My mom and brother stayed at our house with Malakai. It was comforting to know that Kai was going to get some of his regular bedtime routine with daddy to help ease the transition and the crazy day we'd all had.

I barely slept that night, partially because Des was up frequently to breastfeed and also because hospitals are just incredibly uncomfortable. My bed had some sort of air compression mattress so every time I moved it revved up like it was about to take flight.

Early the next morning we texted friends + family with the news and had a few visitors. We had let the nurses know we wanted to check out as soon as possible. Both my doctor's office and the pediatrician's office had docs there fairly early to discharge Desmond + I. Then we just had to wait for the PKU, hearing test, and discharge paperwork to get out of there. We left just after noon, making our entire stay less than 24 hours.

I was so happy to get out of there and get home with all three of my handsome boys. We've been enjoying Ben's paternity leave which is over all too soon next Monday. It's been a great time of bonding and transition for all of us. Desmond has been a very eager eater and good sleeper. When we left the hospital he had lost about an ounce of weight, by his 3 day weigh in he weighed a fraction of an ounce more than his birth weight which was 7 lbs. 5oz. Wednesday at his circ appointment he weighed in at 8lbs 10oz. Yes, I have a chubby newborn! I'm just thankful my babies gain their weight fast after birth!

Thank you for all the inquiries and well wishes. Thanks also to all our friends + family that have been bringing us dinners since our return home. It has been BEYOND helpful to not have to think about dinner as we settle in and adjust to far less sleep.

I'll do my best to update here as often as possible as I surely want to keep record of the new and adorable things both of my sons are doing. But I am anticipating my posts to be shorter and farther between as I soak up the precious moments.

Much love,

back from the hospital

 

Last night was my first night away from Malakai, ever. It didn't happen intentionally, I had no time to prepare. I found myself wishing we had followed through with a trial overnighter like we had planned on. Even just him staying at home overnight with someone other than us. He's done well going to bed for others, which is basically the hardest part.

I'll back up. Yesterday morning I was walking out of the play room and stepped on a toy (typical) and I stumbled, hitting belly first on the open door. I didn't fall down, just sort of bounced off the wall. It wasn't really painful, just startling. I lay down to make sure baby was moving and all was well and then I called my doctor's office. When I finally heard back from the nurse she told me they'd probably just monitor me for a bit when I came in for my weekly appointment later that afternoon, but she needed to talk with my OB. Baby was still moving and I wasn't really worried at all. I wasn't in pain and nothing was out of the ordinary.

I get another call back letting me know that I was to head straight to the hospital for "extended monitoring". I still felt like I shouldn't worry but being told to go right away scared me a bit. Malakai was napping by this point so Ben's mom came to stay with him while we headed to the hospital. Once we got to triage in Labor + Delivery I asked the nurse how long we should expect to be there. She had to check with my doctor but let us know that extended monitoring usually meant 4 hours, but could be 12. Once she got clarification from Dr. M we were told to expect 4 hours on the monitors. I was grumpy about the whole thing, but knew that it was best to play it safe.

After 3 hours and a lot of back and forth between 3 different nurses and the on-call doc (who was stuck at the other hospital) we were told that because my uterus was overly active that they were going to keep me overnight for continued monitoring. News we were not expecting at all. They were watching for signs of placental abruption. While baby's heart rate and movement was tracking normal, my uterus wasn't. Protocol said that I needed to be monitored for roughly 24 hours to be sure that everything was ok.

To get medical/technical, I was told during monitoring when I was pregnant with Malakai that I have an active/irritable uterus. Basically it doesn't really show up as a flat line on the monitors as having no movement, which is what the nurses wanted to see in order to send me home. So while I was certain that everything was normal, they couldn't send me home.

I was pretty emotional considering I didn't get to prepare for my first night away from Malakai. By then Ben's mom had left and my mom had come over to watch Kai. It started to get late and the doctor had still not seen us so we decided Ben should go home to at least get Kai to bed and see whether or not he should stay with Kai or come back to be with me. Ultimately Malakai was having too rough a time getting to bed so Ben stayed home, it was our first night apart in 3 years, making my stay alone in the hospital even more rough.

The on-call doctor didn't even get to me until 10:30pm, I had been at the hospital at 1pm. It was a long and stressful wait just to hear that they definitely would not discharge me and that I was stuck.

I was hooked up to the uncomfortable and often painful monitors all night and only got about 3 hours of sleep, non-consecutively. I fought back a lot of tears, and tried my best to not get worked up as to not cause unnecessary stress to myself and little brother. By the time morning came I was really missing my boys and feeling pretty lonely. Not to mention feeling the aches and pains of being restricted to sleeping in a hospital bed with monitors and wires everywhere.

Ben + Kai came to get me around 8 this morning and I couldn't have been happier to see them. I had been away from Malakai for nearly 20 hours, which is the longest stretch ever. It may seem silly to some, but our lifestyle just doesn't afford overnight vacations away from our child and since I'm primarily a stay-at-home mom it's just our reality that I'm with him all the time. I knew this time would come but thought I'd be in labor so I'd have some time to mentally prepare myself, not to mention the distraction that laboring would bring.

After going back and forth with several nurses and 2 different on-call doctors I was finally discharged, after 18 hours of continuous monitoring. It's not 100% that everything is fine, but everything looks good. I just need to take extra care to notice baby's movements or lack thereof and some other symptoms of a placental abruption. I'm confident that I didn't really hit my tummy THAT hard and that overall God is watching over us.

So, needless to say, it was a rough night. I'm still recovering physically from being stuck in bed that long (the aches + pains!), not sleeping (I will be napping soon), and the emotional roller coaster it all ended up being.

I'd appreciate any and all prayers for myself and little brother as we await labor and delivery over the next couple weeks (or days!).