Summer 2016: Malakai's Tonsillectomy

If you know us personally or follow us on social media then you know our sweet first born had surgery a little over a month ago. He had his tonsils + adenoids removed. The surgeon also removed his ear tubes that had been placed in June 2015 but had not come out on their own like they were supposed to.

Malakai has a tendency to get worked up about things, making them a bigger problem than they are. This is usually the case if he is afraid of something whether it be an imaginary thing or the fear of punishment for something he did or was perceived to have done. It is a difficult road some days but with Ben by my side (and our fantastic counselor) we are helping him to get a better handle on it. He has made a lot of progress over the last few months. 

So when his pediatrician and then his ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat specialist) both mentioned the idea of surgery back in the winter/spring when he had reoccuring strep throat, my first thought was how it would impact him emotionally. Would he be afraid? Would he worry about it constantly? How would we move forward to help him through these intense emotions? Imagine our surprise when he was able to focus on the positives (ice cream for a week) and not even really mention the potentially worrisome aspects. It helped that he could remember his ear tube surgery well enough to know what to expect out of anesthesia and recovery, but it had been long enough that he didn't remember the painful part. We were simultaniously proud of him and thankful to God for providing this peace. 

We scheduled his surgery for after his birthday at a time when our calendars were clear enough that we could both focus on taking care of him and he wouldn't be missing any of the big events he'd been looking forward to over the summer (see previous post for a list of all the fun we've been having!). Then when we had his pre-op about 3 weeks prior to his scheduled surgery date we started to question whether the procedure was necessary. He was healthy and we had the option to "wait and see" which basically means he could outgrow getting sick all the time but we'd have to go through a cold and flu season to find out. Were we willing to risk him still needing surgery in the fall/winter when he'd miss school? Would we be able to actually find a time to schedule it if he was constantly sick? Would our health insurance still cover it if we waited? I literally wrote out a list of the pros and cons of either option and they were totally equal, both in number of things I came up with and the weight they carried. 

We prayed a lot and talked a lot about what we should do. We asked others for prayer and advice. At one point we had said we would be cancelling his surgery, but then I took a glance at his throat and it was red. He had an episode of ear pain during our 4th of July camping trip but not since then, still I thought we should have him looked at just in case. We saw a doctor at his pediatrician's office who confirmed he did have an ear infection and prescribed him antibiotics. One challenge with him is that he has allergy/sensitivity to 2 very common antibiotics, making him hard to treat. This is part of the reason he was put on the road to a tonsillectomy in the first place as his strep throat was very difficult to get rid of. Thankfully this time he didn't have strep. The doctor told us that she could see good reason to do the surgery but would also support a decision to "wait and see". She then referred us back to the ENT to check out his ear and also determine if he could have the surgery if he was getting sick. His ENT was out of the office so by the time he had seen Kai his ear infection was gone. He said because of his history he was still a candidate for surgery, he would never recommend surgery for a child if it was unnecessary, but that we could wait and see if we wanted. However he did say if he's getting an ear infection and cold symptoms in the summer that the likely-hood he'd struggle in the fall/winter again was high. I told him I just needed someone to tell me whether or not we should do the surgery, and he told us he thought we should do it. 

So Ben and I took everything into consideration and decided that it would benefit Malakai's future health to go ahead an have the procedure done. It was a simultaneous sense of relief to have a decision made, but also panic as his surgery was just a week away at that point and I felt totally unprepared. I woke at 3am that night worrying about all the things we had left to take care of. We didn't have anyone ready to watch Desmond and Aurelia so we could both be with Malakai at the surgery center, we didn't have the right groceries to support his limited diet during recovery, we didn't have the pain medicine prescribed by his doctor yet... I did my best to give these concerns to the Lord and he really did show up, everything fell into place and then some. We had friends and family offering to bring meals and balloons and you would not imagine the number of popsicles we stuffed into our freezers.

We made sure to do a lot of fun things that week since he would have to be very stationary for the two weeks after. He got to jump on the trampoline at his grandparents', we took him and Desmond to their very first theather movie (Finding Dory) and we focused on his 7th birthday. We let him ride his new scooter late that night to make sure he got a chance to try it out. 

The day before his procedure we received a call with his surgery time. He wouldn't be checking in until 8:45 and his surgery wouldn't be until 9:45. I was dreading a long morning of having to keep him from eating and drinking. We kept him up late so he could have a snack prior to the midnight cut off and we kept spirits high by making a batch of homemade vanilla ice cream together. 

The next morning Malakai only showed one small moment of worry when he got into the car and said "I'm not so sure I want to go to magic sleepy town today" (this is our way of explaining going under general anesthesia that we had made up the previous summer when he was having ear tubes placed). We talked it over and then he was totally fine, dreaming of ice cream for dinner. During our wait he played some games and read a book. Everything was very prompt, he got back to be admitted quickly and fairly easily. He wasn't a fan of the hair covering but he complied after a few chats about why it was necessary and seeing the nurses wearing them as well. He went under anesthesia easily but for some reason I teared up, which I have every time I've seen him go under. Something about it is just the slightest bit unsettling.

I went back to Ben in the admission area and we walked out to the waiting room together where my dad was. I text family and friends that he was in surgery and we chatted casually. He was done in about 20 minutes, his surgeon said everything went perfectly but "now you have the hard part" in reference to navigating his recovery. We waited another 15 minutes or so before the recovery nurse called us back. Malakai was still asleep and she encouraged us to let him wake naturally. She started to chat with us about his recovery when he coughed and began to wake up. His dry and barky cough was startling. The nurse said it was likely a symptom of his being intubated and that getting him to drink, putting an ice pack on his throat and giving him anti-inflammatory meds would help that get better faster. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it had to be to cough after a throat surgery. He was a bit disoriented and didn't really say anything at first but he came out of anesthesia very calmly. He did say he had some pain so the before removing his IV she gave him a dose of pain medicine in it and made sure his IV fluids finished up so he was well hyrdated from the start. He requested a popsicle, and another before we left. They also gave him a dose of liquid ibuprofen.

She talked us through his discharge and recovery instructions, writing down most of it. She made sure to tell Malakai that he could not run or ride his bike for two weeks, he needed to avoid anything that would cause him to breath heavily. He turned to Ben and I and said "I don't think I should go to swimming lessons" with such sweet concern in his temporarily higher pitched voice. We assured him that he would miss a few sessions until he was all healed up. My responsible little kiddo.

We carried him out to the car and I sat with him in the back of the van to make sure I was within reach if he needed anything during the trip home. We said goodbye to G'Pa and made our way back. The entire process was only about 4 hours. When we came home we settled him into bed and he wanted to eat more popsicles right away. We made sure he had plenty of cold water at all times and I set up several little stations to make aiding him easier. He would be staying in our bedroom so I could sleep next to him for a few nights, Ben would be in the bottom bunk in the boys' room and Des would be in the top bunk. Kai had a tv tray next to the bed with a plastic tray of medicines and droppers, a bell to ring if he needed something (although he had someone by his side constantly for the first day and a half), his water, some books and the tv remote. We set up a humidifier on the night stand next to him as well to help with that barky cough.

I set up an app on my phone called "dosecast" that helped me keep track of when to give him medicine but I also kept a paper record. The app alerted me of when he was due a dose of something but the hard copy helped for having a longer history of what we had given him and when. He was on a hydrocodone and we were alternating doses of ibuprofen based on the discharge instructions which meant waking up that night every 3 hours then 1 hour on a rotating basis. It wasn't until the next day we consulted a nurse at his pediatrician's office about his pain medicines and found out that we could give him both at the same time which meant I only had to get up every 4 hours. Having him in our room made that part easier but it was still tiring. None of the exhaustion mattered as long as he was doing well.

Ben had taken the day of surgery off but needed to work from home the rest of the week. It was a nice compromise between him being able to get work done but also be here to help as needed. Malakai was really needy those first couple of days so I spent a lot of time at his side which meant Ben was on duty to care for Desmond and Aurelia much of the day.

On day two of his recovery my aunt brought us dinner and there was macaroni and cheese as a side. Malakai wanted to eat some so we let him try it (his surgeon had said it would be fine to let him eat softer solid foods as soon as he wanted) and he ate a small bowl of it. We were shocked and very excited that he was willing to eat. He was doing great at eating and staying hydrated, which were our main concerns about his recovery. Our secondary concern was managing his pain which we felt like was going well...until it wasn't.

We went by the discharge paperwork and started to give him less of the narcotic pain medicine on day 4 which ended up being a disaster as that was his most painful day. We tried again a couple days later with mixed results. He did great during the day, he was able to tell us his pain level and it wasn't so bad with less and less medicine but one night he was inconsolable and we couldn't get him to take his medicine. By that time he was back in his room but on the bottom bunk. When we tried to give him his dose of medicine before we went to bed he sort of freaked out and refused to take it, he was acting so strangely it was really quite scary. Ben spoke to a nurse and she said it sounded like night terrors. She was totally right, we have experienced night terrors before but being so caught up in recovery and pain management we were thinking it was something related to those things, especially since it was happening when he was due a dose of medicine. She did say it could be his narcotic pain meds causing him to sleep so deeply he wasn't waking fully but it was unlikely since he was having less of them. He had another night terror the following night but it went by much faster because we knew how to handle it, thankfully he hasn't had any since.

We weren't able to really start letting him sleep through the night without pain meds until closer to 7 days this was around when we were able to start giving him less medicine during the day. About 10 days later we were just giving him medicine when he asked for it, which was usually by the end of the day just before bed. By the full two weeks he was off medicines completely and able to play normally again. During those two weeks he watched a lot of tv, played on the ipad, read books, played some minecraft on the xbox with Ben and Desmond and had a lot of caring visitors who brought him things to do and eat and even brought meals for the rest of us. We felt very well taken care of which was so valuable in allowing us to focus on taking care of him.

Near the end of the 2 weeks we eased him back into being out of the house and expending more energy. He would usually self regulate his activity level. Even when he was outdoors he did a lot of stationary activities. 

Unfortunately Desmond and Aurelia both struggled a bit with the shift in routine. Desmond really had a hard time with Malakai getting to eat jello and popsicles all day even though he usually had a popsicle once a day as well. It was hard for him to not keep score but it was a good lesson for him. The hardest part was being torn in my giving attention to all the kids. Aurelia really wanted to be with mama a lot. We let them come snuggle up with us as much as possible but a lot of the time it just didn't work out. Aurelia was very clingy to me as things started to go back to normal, it has only just recently gotten better.

Malakai was so brave and relatively easy to care for through out the whole thing. Even with the few rough moments I am just so thankful for how smoothly things went compared to how it could have gone. I was told several stories of other very difficult recoveries with complicaitons so I was prepared for the worst while hoping for the best. We are happy we made the decision to have Malakai's tonsils removed, at this point he isn't snoring at night and seems better rested during the day because of it. I think it is safe to say he no longer has sleep apnea, now we will just be praying it helps him stay healthier during cold season!

I would be happy to pass along any tips and tricks if you find yourself with a kiddo facing this procedure. Everyone recovers differently of course but it was helpful for me to be aware of possible outcomes. I gathered information and experiences from other parents before and during recovery. We are just so blessed by our little community both locally and through the internet. 

from the drafts: Surgery

I'm SO behind on updating around here. I miss sharing what our family is up to in more than the snippets instagram posts provide. The busier we've been, the more I wanted to update, and the more back logged this place was and thus goes the vicious circle. I'm finally sitting down to break the silence, amidst the busyness, I'm taking a moment to update. First I'm publishing this post that has been sitting in my drafts all summer. I have photos buried deep somewhere but if I go digging for them this will never get published, so here's the details without all the cuteness to offset...

____Originally written Jun 17th, 2015______

Yesterday Malakai had his much anticipated ear tube procedure. My sister stayed the night so she could be here that morning to stay with Desmond and Aurelia while Ben and I took Kai in. Check in was supposed to be an hour before the procedure but it turned into 2 hours. Thankfully Malakai was in great spirits and we got through the waiting period pretty easily. He had talked previously about being excited to wear the mask and go to sleep, so we went with that and pumped it up to sound amazing. Once we got to that point the anesthesiologist put the mask on pretty abruptly and Malakai's eyes got big with shock. I am so glad I was there to soothe him and that he was able to calmly go under. 

After he was asleep I walked back to Ben who was waiting in pre-Op, took off the hospital gown, we walked to the waiting room where I sent a few texts to relatives that he was in surgery. I ran to the restroom, came back and started to chat with Ben when the surgeon came out to tell us he was finished. The procedure literally took him 5 minutes. Another 10 minutes and we were called back to see Malakai. The nurse said he quietly opened his eyes and just said a quiet yes when asked if he wanted his parents. He was a little dizzy and pretty hungry, but came out of the anesthesia so smoothly that all we had to wait for to go home was him finishing his popsicles that they promised him. 

Honestly the hardest part of the whole thing was afterward when he had to slowly ease into consuming clear fluids before he could have solid food. He hadn't eaten since dinner the night before so he was very hungry. I'm so glad he had an appetite, but it's not fun to tell your hungry kiddo he can't eat (over and over again). We watched a couple movies to distract him from his hunger and relax a while. 

Mima came to visit and brought jello and painting books. The jello was great because it sort of tricked him into thinking he was eating, but technically it was still "clear fluids". The painting gave him and Des something quiet to do besides watching tv. Then Grandma and Grandpa came by with smoothies and by then we eased him into eating with some crackers. They also brought Legos, which provided more quiet activity for a while. Second to not letting him eat, getting Malakai to rest was quite challenging. He wanted to bounce around on the couch and just get up and play. I recall the same thing when he had his first surgery 3 years ago. 

Thankfully he slept really well all night and woke feeling pretty good. We even went to my Bible study this morning and he played just like normal with the other kids. I'm hopeful that the tubes will be what he needs to keep him from having ear infection and after ear infection.


_______

Update: As of today, September 8th, 2015, Malakai had a happy and healthy summer with no complications! We are so thankful and hopeful for a fall and winter without ear infection drama for him. 

Aurelia Ann: 4 months {w/ a comparison}

{with Gertie, her handmade doll from Mima}

At the risk of becoming redundant, I can't help but try to express just how fast the days are going by. I  honestly feel like Aurelia was born 2 weeks ago, and somehow our lives fast forwarded to today. Our girl is such a sweet and relaxed baby that even at our most difficult moments with her (in terms of fussiness or sleeplessness) it has been a breeze in comparison to how I remember moments when her brothers were babies. Don't get me wrong, I've loved raising all my kids up and the baby stage is one of my favorites (ok, I love all the stages for different reasons) but Aurelia has been...dare I say it...an easy baby. I could attribute some of that to her being the 3rd child; everything is sort of crazy all the time so she just has to go with the flow. Mostly though, I think she just has a pretty chill disposition.

I say all this after over a week of very regular night wakings. Maybe if this was my first time around I'd be singing a different tune. I'm surely used to small chunks of sleep at this point. Des dropped his nap when Aurelia was 2 weeks old so I couldn't do the "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing, but thankfully everyone pretty much goes to bed at 7pm these days. While I'm still wrapping up the day and attempting to spend time with Ben at that point in our evening, it's restful to have a quiet house for an hour or two. 

Aurelia is really developing a sweet and happy little personality. She is smiley and cooing as soon as she wakes for the day. She brightens up when she sees us and giggles easily for her brothers. Malakai and Desmond are always trying to make her laugh, they'll literally do a song and dance just to make her smile. She is ticklish and just started belly laughing when we play peek-a-boo, it's the best sound ever. 

She's been grasping at things for a while now, putting toys and clothes and whatever else is in her reach straight to her mouth. She won't take a pacifier or a bottle yet, but she'll chew or suck on her teethers all day if you let her. She is also in the distractible phase as she's learning more about the world around her, she loves to nurse but will take her time if something catches her eye while she's eating.

{Mima made this dress too!}

Baby girl will often tolerate my "playing dress up" as Malakai calls it. She lets me take her in and out of outfits and accessories pretty regularly while staying fairly happy. I appreciate this about her because at the rate she is outgrowing clothes, I'm constantly trying to figure out what still fits and what bigger clothes I should be getting out before she outgrows them. I made the mistake of saving a couple outfits for special occasions and she's already outgrown them. I snapped a couple pictures of her barely fitting in them and sadly put them away.

{2 weeks, 2 months, 4 months}

Aurelia is a chunky baby but nowhere near as much as Desmond was. Since she's not as heavy she seems taller. She measured 24 1/4 inches (49%) at her well check on Wednesday and 15lbs 3 oz (85%). I was surprised when I found Desmond's 4 month stats and he was 26 1/4 inches (85th %) and nearly 19lbs (over 95%). First I thought Aurelia was our tallest (she was at birth but she's actually the shortest at this point) Second, I was shocked at how much heavier Des was at just 4 months. I knew he was a chunk, but whoah! At 4 months Malakai was 17 lbs 8 oz (88th %) and 24 3/4 inches (43%).

Other than a little eczema she is a perfectly healthy little girl. She hates her shots though. At 6 weeks it was almost unbearable. I had Ben come this time and she took her first shot like a pro, but then the 2nd (which the nurse said stings) she lost it. Her brothers were so sweetly concerned, they'd never seen her so upset and weren't sure what to do about it. She's been fussy the last few days since and it's obvious her little legs are sore so sleep hasn't been as great as it had been. As usual we're rolling with the punches.

We are waiting to introduce any foods until 6 months. We started at 4 months with Malakai and waited until 6 with Desmond and from their first feeding we noticed a big difference in the ability and interest in eating solids.

So that's our little Raeli in a nutshell. Growing faster than my heart can stand.

It's good to be 5

My first born is 5 years old. It's still sinking in...if you couldn't tell. If I think of it in terms of having been a parents for 5 years, or that it's been 5 whole years since he was a tiny newborn...I just can't wrap my mind around it. They tell you it goes by fast, and I know adding baby sister to our family will only speed the clock up, but wow has it flown past us!

Malakai counted down to his birthday for at least 2 weeks leading up to it. He was just so excited to be 5 and once the day came he was mostly looking forward to our traditional breakfast at the Original Pancake House... I can't blame him! When we asked how it felt to be 5 or what he thought about it, his reply was always "good".

I love watching my kids grow into the people God has created them to be. I love watching them learn and I love learning about them. They are always so interesting to me.

Ben + I are discovering that Malakai is mildly introverted. It's not so intense that he has trouble in social situations, but he does get overloaded by them. He does some times get overwhelmed, especially when he doesn't know what to expect. He went to his first vacation Bible school earlier this summer. It was tough at first, but on the last day he asked if he could come back next week. He's also really looking forward to day camp next month and is already in love with Camp Harlow. Something that his daddy is very happy about (Ben has a long history with Harlow).

{directing the camera or acting a little camera shy}

Over the last 5 months since we took Malakai to Kindergarten orientation he has gone from being extremely hesitant to super excited about starting school this fall. I know that my chore seeking, craft loving, project obsessed little boy is going to adore school. It is my prayer that he excels but is not bored and that he blooms socially. I'm so thankful that we've had him in so many social programs, the most of which has been being at church 3 times a week for the past year. I know they have helped prepare him for going off to school since we did all his pre schooling at home. I'm also thrilled that he will be heading to public school with Christ in his heart, something he will surely need to cling to when things get hard. As his mama I want to protect him from anything that might hurt him, but I know that he will learn and thrive in doing for himself and leaning not on his own understanding but that of the Lord, who is always with him. I'm comforted and strengthened knowing he has that foundation to build on.

As I mentioned, Malakai is always asking for projects. Every day he asks if I "have something for us to do together." Most of the time he'd prefer a craft or a constructive type toy (legos, and other building toys are right up his ally at the moment), but sometimes he'll settle for something simple like helping clean up or coloring. He also loves work books, dot to dots and mazes are a new favorite. He's learning to play board games like Connect Four and he always wants to help daddy build things. He has been helping his Grandpa Ron build a cabin in their back yard and loving it. He's also learning to cast on his very own fishing pole with G'Pa Jim. He wants to do it all!

Over the last few weeks Kai has really come into his big brother role. He seems to have grown up overnight to want to protect and lead his brother and nurture his little sister. He is so curious about babies and loves to ask questions about his brand new cousin Luke. He can't wait for his sister to get here. Kai does not like surprises, so when we tell him that her name will be a birth day surprise he has gotten upset to the point of tears. This boy just wants to know everything there is to know.

This morning he had his well check and he was amazing. I'm honestly impressed by his bravery. We talked about shots a few days ago and again today, he wasn't happy about it. This would be the first time he's had shots in his arm. I don't think he's had any immunization or other needs for shots since he was 3! When the time came he winced and said it hurt but no tears, no fits, and he's totally fine. Even I tend to whine for a few hours afterwards!

He's taking after me so far in all of his 41 inches (9th percentile) but is a sturdy kid for looking so skinny at 44lbs (73rd percentile). He's developing right on track, the whole appointment was a breeze.

I'm so blessed by my sweet family and today I'm especially thankful for my new 5 year old Malakai Benson and the privilege it is to be his mama.

illness + injury

I feel like a broken record, I even said this to my Bible study group recently when requesting prayer for my sick family, again. We are entering month 4 of illness in our home. I don't share on social media to get extra attention or to throw a pity party. Sometimes I'm actually embarrassed to admit that we are sick again (or is it still?) but I do, because every time I'm covered in prayer and encouraged by a community of friends, family + even strangers. We've endured countless doctor's office visits, pharmacy pick ups and a 3 day emergency hospital stay. Just when things start to look up, someone else comes down with something. Here we are again.

I'm thankful and so happy to be able to say that last Friday when Des had an ear check, he is over his ear infections (he had one, that turned into two really bad infections while on the first round of medicine). I'm also hesitant, but hopeful in saying that I think Malakai is over his recurring infections. (he had 4 in a row, and tried 5 different medicines that all failed). He has an ENT appointment this Thursday morning, so we will know for sure, but he's been acting more himself and not complaining of any pain for the last week or so. These things outweigh that bad day that we had today...

Last week I was told I have another sinus infection (I've had symptoms that won't quit since January, was treated once in February but never felt better- then recently got much worse). I saw another Dr. in my primary physician's office who prescribed me a stronger antibiotic for another sinus infection. Today is day 3 on meds and I had a very bad reaction. Debilitating headache and nausea all morning that resulted in "losing my breakfast" in the kitchen sink just before lunch (right after Des fell and bit his tongue REALLY badly, it looks like he has a hole in it). Thankfully Ben could come home on his lunch break, get Des down for a nap so I could rest and then he preoccupied Malakai while working from home the rest of the afternoon (he is our Superman). I've been nauseated with the same bad headache all afternoon and just as I went to crawl into bed my sciatica (that I'm waiting on a referral to have treated) took a turn for the worse and I nearly fell over. 

I'm not looking for pity (but I will gladly take prayers). I post all of this because the purpose of my blog is to share with my readers and to document our lives so we can look back on it all one day. Life isn't always pretty, and lately for us it's been rather ugly. I'm not whining or complaining, but merely documenting so when things are good I can see what God brought us out of. Because despite the back to back illnesses and injuries and a hospitalization I know it could be worse and I also know that it's going to get better. 

I'm clinging to God's promises to bless us and I'm focusing on the joy in each moment. The fact that almost any time I ask Desmond to snuggle me, he replies with an excited "okay!", when Malakai loves to color pictures/mail/surprises for anyone and everyone, laughing til I'm crying at the things Kai has said over the past year when I came across Ben's "Kai Thoughts" Instagram, smiling at Desmond's growing vocabulary and constant need to narrate our day, all the sweet innocent questions they both ask constantly, the sweet baby kicking around in my belly, loved ones who check in with is because we've been quarantined in our house for months (thanks for not being offended that I haven't contacted you in weeks...), everyone who covers us in healing prayer, the moments when we can feel those prayers doing their work and know that this too shall pass. 

So I do apologize if I sound like a broken record...It's just a season, one with more challenges than others, but soon we'll be on the other side and be blessed by the suffering that taught us how to better embrace joy. 

Mystery Ailment: Part 3

This is the last post of updates on Desmond's illness. Click through to read part 1 and part 2. 

_________________________________________

Once we found out all that was supposed to happen at the hospital, we prepared ourselves for the onslaught of tests that our little Desmond would have to endure.

We hadn't eaten dinner yet and the cafeteria closes at 7:15 so Ben ran down to grab us some food while we waited on x-ray. We took turns eating and being by Desmond's side. Thankfully x-ray was done in the room and was rather quick. 

After that Des was wheeled down for his ultrasound. By then he was really tired and ready to be done, sadly we were just getting started. The ultrasound took a long time and he had to lay on Ben to stay still. He got so upset that the tech wasn't able to find his appendix as you have to push rather hard to get the equipment in position to see it. We were informed that this was actually good as the appendix would be inflamed and easy to find if he had appendicitis. 

When we got back to his room we finished eating and turned on the tv to keep him preoccupied until the nurses came to put his IV in. Sadly, the first two attempts failed because he was slightly dehydrated, making his veins harder to get to. They gave him a break before another nurse came and tried again. It was quite the ordeal, and once it was taped on it actually leaked so they had to untape and retape which was painful. It was misery watching him go through all of this and not being able to help.

They started him on IV fluids and thankfully let us wait a while after that to see if we could get him to pee in a cup on his own so we could avoid a 2nd catheter. He had been complaining of pain all day since his catheter that morning. I cheered when we were able to get him to go in the cup, knowing that was one less painful ordeal he would have to endure. 

In between tests and exams I was able to update family and friends on our situation. We immediately had people offering to brave the icey roads to bring us anything we needed. People all over were praying for our sweet boy, we felt very loved amidst a scary situation. 

Ben + I took turns sleeping with Desmond in his bed, the other in the "day bed" that felt more like sleeping on a concrete slab. After a round of fluids they started his antibiotics and we got a few chunks of sleep here and there. There are a LOT of noises in the hospital so none of us could get much sleep. Children have a security monitor on their leg and Desmond's kept coming unstuck, setting off an alarm in the hallway. The IV can only be set for 2 hour increments so that would beep every time it needed to be reset. His bed was an air bed so it would whoosh and groan to adjust the pressure every time you moved and there was a constant rush of air from the ceiling. The nurses also took vitals every 2-4 hours and the nurse he had that first night came in at 2am with way too much pep in her step. She told me he could just sleep through what she was doing, which he was, but then she started to talk to him and woke him up. I was not a happy mama bear. 

4am they started his 2nd dose of antibiotics and I was awake for the day by 6:30. At that point, Ben was in bed with Des and they slept another 2 hours while I sat and prayed and updated friends on Facebook.

{keeping a 2 year old in bed for 15 hours is not an easy task}

That morning we got to FaceTime with Malakai while he was still at Amy's. The boys were pretty excited to see each other.

Dr. R from our pediatrician's office came in that morning to check on Desmond. She said she'd like to see him off fluids to get him to drink on his own. Having him off fluids meant he only had to be attached to the tubes every 8 hours for 30 minutes to administer the antibiotics. This was so great for how stir crazy the poor kiddo was getting. We were able to take him out in the hallway for a walk and in to the play room across the hall. 

Ben's parents were able to come visit and his dad took Ben over to pick up Malakai and to our house for a few things for us as we didn't have time to pack our own bags. Malakai came to visit and was so excited to see us, but more so to see Desmond. They greeted each other with an enthusiastic "Hi, Brother!" Kai was able to go with Des for his first walk around the unit, check out the playroom with us and eat lunch. Ben's parents took Kai back to their place for the 2nd night and he got to play in the snow before it turned into freezing rain.

My parents weren't able to come visit because my mom had a fever plus they live much further away so it wasn't a good idea for them to drive in the snow and ice. I updated them by phone and text when I could.

Des napped and we watched a lot of Disney Jr. Ben's mom left her iPad for him to play with as well. We watched the snow fall non stop outside our window, we were thankful for such a beautiful view.

We did all that we could to pass the time and keep Desmond comfortable and happy. He started to eat better and was drinking a ton by Friday evening. We were still waiting on a culture from the blood they took when they started his IV to see what kind of bacteria he was fighting. That night we all slept much better. It helped that our overnight nurse was as quiet as a mouse when going about taking vitals and hooking/unhooking tubes for his meds.

Unfortunately Malakai + Grandma didn't sleep so well. Kai was complaining of ear pain and couldn't sleep. He was pretty miserable so they brought him to the hospital and Debbie and I walked him down to urgent care on the other side of the hospital while Ben and Grandpa stayed with Des. After a bit of a wait we found out Kai had a fever of 103 when we got back to see the nurse. Of course I immediately had visions of both of my boys being admitted to the hospital with mysterious infections. I was overwhelmed on top of being overwhelmed. During the 45 minute wait in the exam room, Kai fell asleep on my lap.

After being examined by the doctor (who was really great with Kai and even made him laugh) he was diagnosed with another double ear infection. Although an ear infection doesn't cause fever, so he also though Kai might be fighting off a virus as well. We got a new prescription for antibiotics and headed back upstairs to Desmond's room. He had just finished up his last dose of antibiotics.

We ate lunch (thanks to a generous delivery called in by a friend) and waited for Dr. R to come check on Des and let us know if we could take him home. She came shortly and told us his 48 hour cultures were negative and that his most recent labs were much better. His white blood cell count came down from 39,000 to a normal 10,000. Since no bacteria grew on the cultures the diagnosis was vague. We were discharged with a diagnosis of "fever of unknown cause" which is frustrating, but I knew I could discuss it further with his doctor at our follow up appointment. All I cared about was that my baby is well and I get to take him home. We got a prescription for antibiotics and Grandpa went to pick up both the boys' meds and was back just before Des was discharged.

{goodbye snowy hospital}

We got home safely through the snow that was under a thick layer of ice from a storm the day before. Ben carried each of us in the house because there was no clear path through the ice. We settled in and relaxed as best we could.

{Can you tell Kai missed his Desmond?}

On Sunday we were looking forward to a full day at home to recover from all these events when I got a nasty headache. My mom encouraged me to take my temperate and I had a fever. I took some tylenol and waited it out, but felt miserable all day. I went to the doctor on Monday for a flu test and it came back negative. My doctor did say he thinks I have a stomach virus and I'd probably feel bad for a few days. Just what we needed, another illness.

On the bright side, we have amazing family and friends. They've all rallied around us in prayer. Some braved the storms and brought us food to the hospital, and other have started a meal train to bring us dinner while we settle back in at home and recover now that I'm sick as well. It's so humbling to receive so much and be able to give nothing back (at least at the moment), and I'm doing my best to let it be and just feel the blessings overflow as we heal. I know there will be an end to these miserable sicknesses even though it's hard to see through it.

Yesterday morning we had a follow up appointment for both boys. Malakai's exam was simple, his ears looked great! We were also informed that about half of ear infection patients do develop a fever, like Kai had. I was so thankful that he would finally be back to himself.

We originally scheduled with Dr. R because Dr. B didn't have any openings but when she saw that we were there Dr. B "stole" us- which was very sweet and I really appreciated that she wanted to follow through with Desmond's care and give us the information she'd gathered directly.

She confirmed again that nothing grew on the cultures, but she explained that it's actually quite normal to not be able to grow bacteria, even when it's present. Due to the volume of blood you'd have to use to get enough bacteria to grow in a petri dish, it's common to get no growth. So her diagnosis is that he did have bacterial sepsis based on all of his symptoms and his response to the antibiotics. She had even called an infectious disease specialist at Dornbecker Children's hospital to confirm her diagnosis.

It was nice to get information but it was also scary to think that Desmond had such a serious condition. I'm even more thankful for a pediatrician that took the right steps and got our boy well without any complications. What a blessing that Desmond is already so healthy after being in the hospital less than a week ago!

We so appreciate our beloved Dr. B and all the caregivers at Eugene Pediatrics. Malakai especially likes it there because they always let him play with their tools. His favorite is the otoscope and even Desmond got into it and played with the stethoscope.

We came home and had popsicles with our lunch to celebrate a clean bill of health!

Now, after nearly 6 weeks of illness, we are on to getting me healthy and keeping everyone else healthy as best we can in this doozy of a season. Once again, thank you for all your support and prayers!

Mystery Ailment: Part 2

Due to overwhelming amounts of detailed information in these updates, 

I've split them into separate posts. Find Part 1 here + 3 here.

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Wednesday Des was acting like he felt better, but usually only when he had a good dose of tylenol or ibuprofen in his system. He'd start to crash again an hour or two before we could give him another dose. The on call doctor gave us permission to switch by and forth between ibu and tylenol to help with that. We decided that if he felt sick in the morning we'd call again to have him seen by his main pediatrician as he was seen by another doctor in their practice and a nurse the last couple of times. 

Come Thursday morning he started vomiting at 5am. After cleaning him up and getting him back to sleep for a couple hours Desmond woke with a fever and it was getting higher. His temp hit 105 at 8am and I immediately gave him tylenol to try to lower it. He was still complaining of belly pain, as he has been since Monday night. I called his pediatricians office as soon as they opened to make an appointment. They got us in on a cancellation with our beloved Dr. B so I rushed us out of the house to drop Kai off at Grandma + Grandpa's and headed to Eugene Peds...in the snow.

That morning it had started snowing just before sunrise. It wasn't too bad so Ben went ahead and drove to work. He goes really early so this was before Des' fever got real high. By the time I left there was quite a bit of snow on the ground and I don't really drive in snow. I took my time driving slowly and cautiously. I only had slight trouble at a couple stops when I tried to go again and slid a bit, but was able to correct it quickly with no problems. 

We got to Dr. B's office at 9:40am and due to his fever and slight cough Des got to wear a lovely little mask. He was amazing about it, he just wanted to play trains. He didn't have a lot of energy and he'd been breathing heavily, but he was talkative- narrating what he was doing while playing.

It was such a relief to see his primary care physician. I trust all the other doctors and nurses at their office, but there is a deeper trust with your main doctor that gets built over having them care for your children over time. 

She poked at his belly and listened to his lungs as she did a thorough examination to figure out what was going on. She mentioned that if this had been accompanied by diarrhea she would have thought it was the stomach flu for sure, but quite the opposite, Desmond hadn't been going poo very often at all. 

She assured me (but I already know) that she would make decisions for Desmond like she would if he were her own son and said we needed to get a urine sample and go in for blood work. My heart sank. I've overcome a fear of needles over all the blood draws and such that they do during pregnancy, but I didn't want my little guy to have to go through any of that. Sadly, to get the best result they wanted to do a catheter for the urine sample. 

The catheter failed miserably and was extremely painful. He must have just emptied his bladder, so they put a bag in his diaper to catch the urine next time he peed between then and our going over to the lab for the blood draw. I called Ben and he met me at the labs. I knew I wasn't brave enough to hold Desmond through it. I'm so thankful he was there, I got light headed and had to sit down. Des whimpered and cried a little, but was really brave. 

It was nearly noon and due to the snow I wanted to drive as little as possible. It hadn't stopped all morning so the roads were covered and it was still coming down. The lab was close by to Grandma's so I drove to pick up Kai and met Ben at home. We fed the boys lunch and Ben worked from home while Des napped and Kai + I played a bit. We expected to hear back on Desmond's labs by 4 at the latest as they put a rush on the results and would page Dr. B directly. 

Just before 5pm I decided to call in, but the pediatrician's office had closed early due to the snow storm so I got the answering service. They took a message and paged Dr. B because thankfully she was the doctor on call at the time. They tell you to call back if you don't hear in 20 minutes, which I hadn't so I did. They said they'd been paging her and would try again. I was worried that perhaps she had trouble in the snow. Turns out she was still in the office catching up on things, she called me back just before 5:30 as Ben waking dinner. 

During all of this I wasn't too worried about hearing back because Desmond woke up from his nap a couple hours earlier in a great mood and no fever. The tylenol had even worn off by then and he was acting himself. 

The first thing Dr. B said was that she knew I wouldn't be expecting this, but Desmond's results were not good. She said was really sorry but if he were her son, she'd take him directly to the hospital. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My voice started to crack and Ben looked at me from the kitchen with wide eyes trying to figure out what was going on. He was just about to toss some spaghetti into boiling water when I waved him off while listening to Dr. B explain the results. 

Desmond's white blood cell count was much too high and his other results were not great either. I explained that his fever had gone and he was acting fine, but she insisted that even so she felt in her gut that he needed to be in the hospital. I told her I trusted her opinion completely and we'd pack up to go. She asked if we'd be able to meet her at the hospital in all this snow, that had now turned to thick sheets of ice, or if she should call an ambulance. Ben was sure we could brave the weather. 

Ben dropped the noodles on the counter and turned off the stove and we started to make preparations. I called Amy, who lives a block away, and I burst into tears. All I could manage was a shaky "We have to take Desmond to the hospital" and she immediately told me "Bring Kai right over!" So I ran outside to start the van to thaw and  we packed both boys a bag quickly, I grabbed a couple snacks for us since we were missing dinner. I backed Ben's car out of the driveway blindly, it was covered in such a thick layer of ice and snow I didn't have time to thaw it out. I attacked the ice on the van until Ben came out to take over. It was so thick after just 5 hours that it broke the scraper in half. 

Ben grabbed Kai out of the car and carried him up to Amy's house. Malakai was thrilled for his very first sleepover at a friend's house (Amy's son Nate is just a little younger than Kai + she has a baby, Luke who Kai also adores). Thankfully he wasn't scared and didn't know to worry about Desmond, as worried as Ben + I were. I texted Amy directions for bed time and such on our way to the hospital. 

Desmond was still in a great mood and asked us where we were going. When we said the hospital, he said "OK!" as we had just been there for x-rays 2 days earlier and he seemed to enjoy the adventure. We slid at an intersection once as we tried to start from a stop light, but we made it safely in the terrible weather. I did NOT enjoy that drive!

We grabbed his bag and headed to the front desk in the lobby at Sacred Heart Medical Center Riverbend where both boys were born and where Malakai had his hernia surgery a couple years earlier. We were led upstairs to the pediatric floor and immediately admitted. Dr. B met us in Desmond's room and explained his results more thoroughly. His white blood cell count should normally be less than 15,000 was elevated to 39,000. He also tested as anemic and low blood sugar. His crp levels (which I don't really understand) were elevated, which apparently isn't good either. All of these things indicate a dangerous infection somewhere in his body. Her plan to rule out Bacterial Sepsis was to get a follow up chest x-ray to make sure the pneumonia hadn't become visible after the last one. Then have an ultrasound on his abdomen to see if there were any abnormalities and to check on his appendix. Third, was to recheck his urine and lastly was to administer IV antibiotics for 48 hours. That's when we realized we were in for a long stay.

Mystery Ailment: Part 1

I wrote the following post on Wednesday Feb 5th before things took a turn for the worse the next day. 

____________________________

My poor sweet family can't catch a break from sickness lately. At least 2 of us have been sick at any given time for the past month and not one of us has been spared. Thankfully, we did have a small reprieve for Ben's birthday this past Sunday, but it didn't last long.

Yesterday I went to the doctor after a month of coughing my life away and was diagnosed with a sinus infection. What a pain, but I am glad to have some medicine now and that there is an end in sight to this suffering. 

Desmond came down with a high fever suddenly on Monday. He was his happy unruly self and then suddenly he said his tummy hurt and he was burning up. That night he and Ben were up all night and Des threw up so we thought it must be (ANOTHER) stomach virus. Until the next morning when his fever shot back up and he was breathing erratically.

 Since I am still feeling miserable, Ben took Desmond to the doctor. He saw a nurse practitioner who called in one of the doctors and they couldn't quite figure out what was bothering his tummy. Thankfully they ruled out all sorts of serious conditions like appendicitis, he also tested negative for flu. Due to his shallow breathing they sent him in for a chest X-ray. No matter how bad I felt I had to be there for that.

{waiting sweetly for his x-ray}

My angel-neighbor Amy took Kai so I could go to the hospital with Ben and Des. By that point the ibuprofen they gave him at the pediatrician kicked in and he was talking up a storm. He breezed through the x-ray and we headed home. 

By the time we got home he was exhausted and hungry. We were thrilled that he had an appetite again, he hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. I went down the street to bring Malakai back home and by the time I got back Ben and Desmond were both asleep. Ben has been my rock through all of this, even when he was sick a couple weeks ago he still took care of all of us, sacrificing the rest he needed so the rest of us could get healthy.

We later found out that Desmond's chest x-ray was clear for pneumonia so our instructions are to keep an eye on him and call back if he vomits again or his fever gets worse. 

It has been so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. We struggle to get through each bout of sickness only to get hit again and harder. I know this is normal with small children, but this has been the worst season for us by far. I'm so glad to have a handful of people in my phone that I can text at any time to lift up a prayer or run an errand for us. My father in law, Ron picked up dinner and my antibiotics last night so we can focus on keeping Des comfortable. Amy has been dousing my children and I in essential oils to relieve symptoms here and there. Ben's work has been extremely understanding of his need to care for family (it helps that he is such a hard worker, he always catches up).  I know that God is reaching down through all these people to bless our family in this needy time. My incessant prayer now is for a total healing over all of us and a nice LONG reprieve from all that has been ailing us physically.

____________________________

Due to the content of these posts being drawn out and detailed, I've split this update into separate posts.
Find Part 2 here + 3 here.  

Malakai's 1st Eye Exam

The more time passes and the more behind I get on posting certain events, the more reluctant I am to post current events...which means I get even further behind. SO at the risk of things being all out of order (ugh), I'm posting about something that happened TODAY. I haven't done this in forever, I think I might like it.

This morning Malakai and I dropped Desmond off with Grandma Debbie and headed to the eye doctor. I talked it up all morning, practiced a few things, and reminded him of the episode on Sesame Street when the little girl goes to the eye doctor. He was actually kind of excited about the whole thing by the time we got there.

He greeted the receptionist and was thrilled that they had toys. He even picked them up without being asked well before we were called back. I was wondering if I somehow had the wrong child with me.

Ben met us there, and they started with a few preliminary tests. This included the dreaded "air puff". Ben and I both have issues with this one. He cannot keep his eyes open to save his life and I will flinch without fail. I know it's coming but I have an uncontrollable reaction, it's terrible because the HAVE to continue doing it. Malakai got through the 1st eye with one try. The 2nd was a bit more challenging because he knew what was coming, but he did well. Afterward though he told the assistant "Don't do that again, it hurt my eye." I love his growing vocabulary and ability to express himself.

He did so well through all three of the 1st tests that I got a little emotional sitting there, realizing he's growing up. I'm going to be a puddle on the floor in 2 years when he goes off to Kindergarten. Somebody hold me.

Then we walked down the hall for a few other tests, just looking at cards with shapes and such to see what he could point out as they got smaller. He's not even a little bit colorblind and was happy to show off his knowledge of shapes. He refused to wear an eye patch or funny glasses though, even with the mention of "Jake and the Pirates".

Next Dr. M came in for a more in-depth exam and we could tell why were were having to pay big bucks (thank God for HSA) to be there. She was an expert at working with preschoolers and instead of pushing Kai to wear a patch or one sided glasses she let daddy cover one eye and then the other to get the same result.

We learned that at this age, all children are far sighted. Also, Malakai is slightly less far sighted than his peers, which isn't a problem. He does have astigmatism on one side and one eye performs slightly different from the other, but neither indicate a need for correction or vision therapy. Ben + I breathed a sigh of relief as Ben had to undergo pretty intense vision therapy at a young age and still wears a contact in one eye.

Afterwards Kai was pretty stoked that he got to come to work with me. He tore my office apart a couple times, but put it all back together by himself. He followed me around as I prepped the classes for Sunday. We had a blast together and I think I may take him to work with me more often if he so chooses. However, I think he enjoys his trips to Grandma's even more than hanging out with me on the job.

Somehow I was thinking today would be a lot more difficult, and am so thankful for how pleasant it turned out.

Desmond: 6 months.

Yep, it's been another month and suddenly Desmond is 1/2 a year old (as of April 10th) and yes...I'm thinking about his 1st birthday celebration already. It'll be here so fast I have to at least have it on my mind and on my pin boards now!

At 6 months Desmond is super active. He is sleeping much less during the day which is a lot of fun for both myself and Malakai. He absolutely loves his big brother. My favorite part of the day is after Kai has been up a while and Des wakes, I'll bring him in and it's like they are reuniting after being apart for days. Kai says "Desmond! He's awake, I wanna see 'im!" Then comes right up to his face and says hi. Des lights up, giggles and wiggles his whole body with excitement. Every.single.morning.

{these look posed, but Kai totally just came up and did this on his own}

Des has been a drooling machine for the past couple of months, teething like crazy but nothing has popped through yet. He loves to blow raspberries and is babbling more and more every day. Lately he has been kind of growling/shouting and it sounds like he's angry but he'll be grinning and laughing all the while. We call it "testing his voice". Kai used to do something similar but he did high pitched squeals.

We just had Desmond's 6 month well-check this morning. According to Dr. B he's perfect...confirming what we already thought. He's 27 inches long (tall) which puts him in the 75th %, 22lbs 1oz. which is off the charts as he has been since about 2 days old. His head is 18 1/4 inches, big ol' noggin just like his brother.

At just 6 months he's growing out of 9 month clothes and fitting Kai's hand-me-down 12 month clothing which just boggles my mind. For those of you who don't know, Ben's younger brother is actually quite a bit bigger than him (Ben is 6 ft. tall and David is 6' 5") so we often wonder if Des and Kai will be the same in that regard.

At the end of March he started pushing up on to his hands and knees and sometimes onto his toes, lifting his whole body off the ground! He is one strong little man! Then he started trying to crawl towards toys but ends up scooting backward which really frustrates him. Late last week he actually crawled a tiny bit forward on his knees for Grandma Debbie + I! It was so exciting, but whoah it seems too early to already have a mobile baby.

He is also sitting upright really well, but I always put a boppy or other pillows around him because he'll randomly get excited and fling himself backward. He almost instantly figured out how to move from sitting to a crawling position on his tummy without any issues.

Unfortunately he has started crying more. He never really cried when he was upset, just got a bit fussy. He's been a good sleeper since he got over his first bout of colick around 1 month old. BUT once he started learning so many new things he started to wake more and get more crabby. The other night he woke up at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep, which was a first. Big bro has always been our difficult one when it comes to sleeping, I'm hoping Desmond doesn't follow in those footsteps! Last night he did sleep unswaddled all night, but he was nursing pretty frequently and ended up staying in bed with us from 4am-7am. After chatting with Dr. B we'll be trying some no-cry solutions to get him sleeping longer and more independently.

We started him on "solids" over Easter weekend, just doing some baby oatmeal cereal and breastmilk once a day. We'll ease him into my homemade veggie and fruit purees soon and more frequent solid feedings by 9 months per his Dr's recommendation.

About once every week or two he had a couple of days of almost constant spitting up, but it never bothers him. When I mentioned this to Dr. B she laughed and said that "happy spitter" is a actual medical term, we all laughed. It was good to know that it's common enough to have a term and that it's not something to worry about.

Des is still quick to smile and easy to get laughing. He is so friendly and snuggly. He was smiling and babbling to the Dr and nurses during the whole visit. After his vaccines he quit crying as soon as I picked him up and nursed to sleep. He only recently is able to stay asleep during transitions from car seat or mama's arms to his crib, which has been really nice.

Overall he is a happy healthy big baby boy and we are enjoying the journey of watching him grow, both in body and in skills and personality.