On sleep

We have truly been in just about every situation imaginable when it comes to sleep with our 3 little ones. This post is about our journey and what has worked for us with each child (to the best of my ever-fleeting memory) and hopefully a little help for you in your current struggles to get yourself and/or your littles to sleep peacefully.

going, going, gone! 

Our oldest, Malakai, was born during a heatwave in the summer of 2009. At the time we didn't have air conditioning except a small portable unit in the main living space. We had not planned to co-sleep because we honestly had no idea what that was or what it meant. Malakai had his own set of plans. We had an antique bassinet by my side of the bed for him to be in our room, but he slept best in my arms, and so that's what we did. He napped fairly well, it was mostly night time that was the struggle. Him being our only child and my staying home full time meant that we could be flexible with sleep for the most part. We thought it was bad, but my current experiences scoff at how easy those days were.

I thought Malakai would be swaddled until he left for college ;)

By 15 months old though, Kai was still not sleeping through the night. He didn't take a pacifier and was weaned but still needed soothed to sleep. This meant myself or mostly Ben walking him around until he fell into a deep enough sleep that he didn't notice when we'd set him down. Letting him cry to sleep was not an option for our situation. He would get hysterical (to the point of vomiting, rather quickly) and we just couldn't stand it.

We read Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and implemented the routines that worked best for us and he was soon sleeping through the night. It only took a couple weeks and it was so wonderful. I still recommend this book as it's suggestions and habits have come in handy with all of our children. Sure, there was sleep regression when we hit a tough bout of teething or a cold, but ultimately we could always retrain using the tactics we learned and going back to our routines.

In the fall of 2011, Desmond joined us. We received a co-sleeper that attached to our bed and were wondering where this magic had been the last couple years! Then we had our first experience with "colick", I was reduced to tears on several occassions and frequently felt like a failure. After a few weeks of it went by, it settled as it often does (cling to that if you find yourself in the throes of colick, it ALWAYS gets better!). From then Des was pretty content to sleep just about anywhere. He napped fairly frequently in a bouncy type seat with his special "lovey" in the middle of the living room while I made lunch and Malakai (then just over 2) played rather noisely as usual.

Malakai, Desmond + Aurelia...swings + bouncy seats to the rescue!

Desmond regressed into needing constant soothing to sleep and at about 15 months had learned to swing one leg over and hoist himself out of bed. We were NOT ready to transition to a toddler bed (and of course, neither was he) so we found our solution in the form of a few sleep sacks. First it worked but the bottom was so wide that he could still climb out, just with more effort. So, I sewed up the sides to make them narrower and ta-dah! no more crib-climing baby. When he learned to work the zipper (because he was baby houdini) we turned them backwards, but eventually he was in a toddler bed and ready to roll. In order to get him to sleep and not play we got into a bad habit of soothing him to sleep and laying him down every night, every nap. This continued even when we put the boys in the same room and turned the other into a "play room" to keep the toys from being a distraction. Someone always had to lay with him to get him to bed, which meant Malakai wanted that too.

Malakai stopped napping, so he would play in the other room while I lay down with Desmond for a nap, which often took a LONG time. At night Ben and I would both find ourselves laying in their little beds, waiting for them to fall asleep. We remembered our previous routines and began to implement them again. It took a while but things got better. One of the best tactics was agreeing to snuggle with each of them, but just for a few minutes. We had worked it all the way down to 1 minute and eventually stopped laying with them after stories and devotions altogether. They've had moments of bothering each other over the years, but for the most part they have always done really well sharing a room.

More recently, Malakai has had a run in with some anxiety and nightmares so I have started to lay down with each of them for "one minute" after lights out. I don't mind this at all, in fact, I look forward to it. I get a small amount of snuggle time with each of them. I pray over them, run my fingers through their hair and kiss their heads before tip-toeing out and whispering "see you when the sun comes up" which was something that we started to tell Malakai years ago and it just stuck. I will continue to do this for as long as they want me to.

Another way we have battled night time worries, bad dreams, and other sleep disturbances is implementing the use of essential oils. We have been using oils regularly for nearly 3 years and the more I use them, the more I am pleased with the outcome. I'd love to share details about this portion of our journey with you. Please feel free to email me to find out which oils we use and how to get some to try!

The boys were 5 and 3 when Aurelia was born. Raeli has been all over the map in terms of sleep. As a newborn she slept wonderfully, and it lasted until we had to stop swaddling her around 6 months because she would roll over in her sleep. We tried all methods of soothing her to sleep, including the multiple different ideas in our go-to resource, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" but the only thing that worked was to ease her into bed time as much as we could, get her drowsy and lay her down, letting her cry a bit and put herself to sleep. Even still, this really only consistently worked for naps.

Once she got close to a year old she was struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep every single night. I went away for a weekend and we used the opportunity to start to wean her from nursing. I figured we would keep the bed time feeding and wean that one slowly as that's what worked best for her brothers. It did NOT work for her. She would nurse to sleep and then wake screaming as soon as I tried to put her down, no matter how long I held her or if I tried to get her to stay awake. Nothing that included nursing her before bed was working. Then she weaned herself completely. We put her to bed drowsy, but awake and she cried but not for long. Then she slept ALL NIGHT.

It was very foreign to us to let a baby cry to sleep as that would not have come close to working for our sons (or us) just years prior. It's what she wanted and it worked for her. I still have to retreat to the shower if she has a hard time getting to sleep. We also still go in to soothe her if she's having a rough go or cries for "too long"(for us that is over 15 minutes without calming down). At 18 months she still has bouts of waking and being difficult to get to sleep again. Just recently she struggled to sleep at night due to illness and teething, but we went back to our routines once we knew she was healthy and able and she cried a bit, but for less time and she went back to sleeping all night. The more nights go by, the less she protests. Now, she often just whimpers or makes no noise at all and lays there quietly before drifting off to sleep. I consider it a miracle each and every time.

When we've been out late or have had guests over, causing the kiddos to be a bit rowdy instead of sleepy, we usually turn to our favorite essential oils to encourage them to get to sleep calmly and quickly. We've had so much success with using them in this and many other ways that I can't help but sing their praises! They've also done wonders for Ben + I. With how often we were waking to soothe little ones, Ben + I had been used to waking frequently and struggled to sleep all night once they were all staying asleep. We turned to oils and they immediately worked to help us get to sleep quickly and stay asleep all night. All these benefits without the side effects of feeling too drowsy to get up in the morning or if the kids needed us in the night.

All that to say two things 1. never say never! 2. each kiddo is so totally different, let them "tell" you what works for them. As long as it also works for you and is safe, do it! I would never have thought that we would let a kiddo cry to sleep, it's just not something that was comfortable for Ben or I, but it's what works for our little girl and she sleeps well and wakes happy, so we do too!

edit: I wrote the bulk of this a week or so ago and of course Aurelia is in another sleep regression due to her 2 year molars taking FOR-EV-ER to come in all the way. We even went to her doctor to make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. Thankfully she is healthy, just having some referred pain from her teeth coming in. Since she is uncomfortable we do our best to soothe her to sleep in her own room if she wakes unahppy, but when she's just too miserable we pull into our bed to get some sleep. Seasons come and seasons go and if I've learned anything new over the last 6+ years of parenting it's to remain flexible and don't get too used to something because it's bound to change in the blink of an eye!

How I Started Using Essential Oils

A little over a year ago I started sampling essential oils with the advice of a friend. The biggest impact was a calming blend. My boys struggled to get to sleep and stay asleep at night. I mixed a few drops of the calming blend with unscented lotion (or coconut oil) and slathered it on their feet and the back of their necks at bedtime. In the beginning they did drift off a little faster, but Desmond would still wake in the middle of the night. Ben would reapply (we started using a roller with fractionated coconut oil which was much easier) and Des would ease back to sleep. After a while, he didn't wake at night anymore.

Later I started using the calming blend as well when I found I couldn't fall asleep because my mind was too busy to slow down and let me rest. It helped me fall asleep faster. Then Ben's sleep "antics" started to become a problem (he's been a sleep walker for a long time, especially when he's very tired). Neither one of us was getting enough sleep because of his frequent and jolting night waking. He decided to try the calming blend first and it worked! He falls asleep quickly and sleeps more soundly all night.  All of our initial experiences were so positive, I just couldn't wait to try more essential oils! 

That's just one small part of my testimony for essential oil use. I will share more in posts here and there along with tutorials for homemade products using essential oils and other ways to use specific oils and blends. 

I would love to  help you try essential oils for the first time or add to your collection. Head to my essential oils page for more information. Contact me to get started on your wellness journey!

Disclaimer- This information is my opinion based on my experiences and resources. Please use common sense and the advice of your qualified health professional when making your health decisions. These statements are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease.  

We use essential oils because of the health benefits we've seen in our family.  Every person is different and you might not experience the same results, although I truly hope you will! 

Thank you so much!

the latest

We just finished the process of refinancing our home. We'll save a nice amount of money every month, but it was a NIGHTMARE of a process. I'm so glad we won't be doing that again anytime soon! Thankfully my wonderful husband took care of every little detail and all I had to do was gather a few documents here and there. Thank God everything turned out well after missing the window once and having to apply for an extension (at the fault of our broker). So beyond glad to be done with that!

As the weather warms up and spring fades into summer we are in full swing planning to re-landscape the backyard with my father-in-law. It was actually our Christmas gift from Ben's parents to re do the yard and we are so excited to have nice grass! When we bought the place the yard was pretty nice, but unfortunately as it sat on the market, empty, nobody took care of the grass. So the leaves from the two towering maples fell and created a ton of muddy holes that were then filled by weeks and subsequently moss.

Unfortunately our raised beds that were here from the beginning weren't very well built. There was no foundation to secure them to the ground and they were all warped. We decided it would be best to take them apart and rebuild after the ground gets torn up with the rest of the yard. I won't be planting anything until we can rebuild, which is a bummer because who knows if I'll even make it in time to have anything edible, we shall see!

Desmond and Malakai are growing bigger and smarter every day. Des is really talkative and very close to crawling forward (instead of scooting backward). He can move himself from sitting to crawling and back. He's all over the place these days! Malakai loves to "see Desmond" and is doing much better at interacting with him gently...most of the time.

Ben + I finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy last week and are possibly going to see the movie with his parents this Friday. We have really enjoyed reading them simultaneously and talking about all the drama. We've been able to go out quite often with thanks to numerous family member willing to babysit.

Work has been busy as ever and I'm doing my best to keep up, which is one of the main reasons I haven't been updating here lately. I save blogging for times when the kids are napping simultaneously, IF I'm caught up on work that I can do from home. Since the boys haven't been cooperating by napping at the same time I've been behind on work and thus not blogging. I'm finally caught up for the moment since they finally slept for a few consecutive hours during the day!

Speaking of sleep, Des has been transitioning to only sleeping in his crib and it's been so great! He only comes into bed with us when he wakes to nurse after 5am and we both go back to sleep for a couple of hours (if Kai lets us). There have been a couple of rough nights between both kiddos the last couple weeks, but not unbearable! This morning though for some reason they both woke up at 5:45am ...OUCH!

There's surely a lot more going on that I'm missing, but that's just a quick recap of what is at the forefront of my mind at the moment...

Desmond: 6 months.

Yep, it's been another month and suddenly Desmond is 1/2 a year old (as of April 10th) and yes...I'm thinking about his 1st birthday celebration already. It'll be here so fast I have to at least have it on my mind and on my pin boards now!

At 6 months Desmond is super active. He is sleeping much less during the day which is a lot of fun for both myself and Malakai. He absolutely loves his big brother. My favorite part of the day is after Kai has been up a while and Des wakes, I'll bring him in and it's like they are reuniting after being apart for days. Kai says "Desmond! He's awake, I wanna see 'im!" Then comes right up to his face and says hi. Des lights up, giggles and wiggles his whole body with excitement. Every.single.morning.

{these look posed, but Kai totally just came up and did this on his own}

Des has been a drooling machine for the past couple of months, teething like crazy but nothing has popped through yet. He loves to blow raspberries and is babbling more and more every day. Lately he has been kind of growling/shouting and it sounds like he's angry but he'll be grinning and laughing all the while. We call it "testing his voice". Kai used to do something similar but he did high pitched squeals.

We just had Desmond's 6 month well-check this morning. According to Dr. B he's perfect...confirming what we already thought. He's 27 inches long (tall) which puts him in the 75th %, 22lbs 1oz. which is off the charts as he has been since about 2 days old. His head is 18 1/4 inches, big ol' noggin just like his brother.

At just 6 months he's growing out of 9 month clothes and fitting Kai's hand-me-down 12 month clothing which just boggles my mind. For those of you who don't know, Ben's younger brother is actually quite a bit bigger than him (Ben is 6 ft. tall and David is 6' 5") so we often wonder if Des and Kai will be the same in that regard.

At the end of March he started pushing up on to his hands and knees and sometimes onto his toes, lifting his whole body off the ground! He is one strong little man! Then he started trying to crawl towards toys but ends up scooting backward which really frustrates him. Late last week he actually crawled a tiny bit forward on his knees for Grandma Debbie + I! It was so exciting, but whoah it seems too early to already have a mobile baby.

He is also sitting upright really well, but I always put a boppy or other pillows around him because he'll randomly get excited and fling himself backward. He almost instantly figured out how to move from sitting to a crawling position on his tummy without any issues.

Unfortunately he has started crying more. He never really cried when he was upset, just got a bit fussy. He's been a good sleeper since he got over his first bout of colick around 1 month old. BUT once he started learning so many new things he started to wake more and get more crabby. The other night he woke up at 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep, which was a first. Big bro has always been our difficult one when it comes to sleeping, I'm hoping Desmond doesn't follow in those footsteps! Last night he did sleep unswaddled all night, but he was nursing pretty frequently and ended up staying in bed with us from 4am-7am. After chatting with Dr. B we'll be trying some no-cry solutions to get him sleeping longer and more independently.

We started him on "solids" over Easter weekend, just doing some baby oatmeal cereal and breastmilk once a day. We'll ease him into my homemade veggie and fruit purees soon and more frequent solid feedings by 9 months per his Dr's recommendation.

About once every week or two he had a couple of days of almost constant spitting up, but it never bothers him. When I mentioned this to Dr. B she laughed and said that "happy spitter" is a actual medical term, we all laughed. It was good to know that it's common enough to have a term and that it's not something to worry about.

Des is still quick to smile and easy to get laughing. He is so friendly and snuggly. He was smiling and babbling to the Dr and nurses during the whole visit. After his vaccines he quit crying as soon as I picked him up and nursed to sleep. He only recently is able to stay asleep during transitions from car seat or mama's arms to his crib, which has been really nice.

Overall he is a happy healthy big baby boy and we are enjoying the journey of watching him grow, both in body and in skills and personality.

Thankful on a Thursday- gratefulness.

So I haven't posted a Thankful list in almost 2 months. Apparently when I hit 1000 I subconsciously thought it was time for a break. I didn't realize just how long it had been (felt like maybe a week or two) until I looked back to find the last post. Yikes!

I was reminded this past Sunday during a really great sermon how important gratitude is. I need to remember all the blessings on a daily hourly basis. It helps to keep the grumpies in check.

Here's a small list of some recent things that I have to be thankful for...

1001. my health. I've been whining about this lingering cold (or whatever it is) but looking at the big picture I'm relatively healthy.

1002. fun grandparents for my kids. Both my parents + Ben's parents are so playful with our boys, they are so blessed to have grandparents who are happy to get on the floor or go outside and play with them.

1003. food. If you've been to our home you know our kitchen is TINY. It's the source of much frustration on my part when I'm trying to prepare meals, especially big ones. I get really irritated when it comes to storing large items. I digress. I am just thankful to have a home, a kitchen, and food to fill our bellies.

1004. jobs. So many people are jobless right now and are forced to relocate for work, or worse. Ben + I are well aware of how precious our jobs are. Not just for the income they provide our family, but because we both enjoy what we do and who we work with.

1005. saving money. We are in the middle of a refinance on our home. We already had a super low interest rate, but we have an opportunity to save even more per month once we're on the other side of this tedious process.

1006. My children love each other. Desmond grins and gets so happy he can't help but squirm when he sees Malakai, especially first thing in the morning. Likewise, Kai lights up and giggles just being in his brother's presence. I really hope this lasts for years to come!

1007. a happy marriage. "They" all tell you that marriage is a lot of work, and it's true. It's also beyond worth it. I couldn't imagine going through life without Ben, he's my soft place to land after a hard day.

1008. knowledge. I'm learning so many things with the new part of my job and I'm even able to apply them to the job I've been doing for over a year now. It's so nice to work with people who are willing to teach me what they know and show me patience as I learn.

1009. friends. One of my very best friends just recently got engaged and I'm over-the-moon excited for her! I can't wait to celebrate her big day. I also just appreciate the rare opportunities to sit and visit with my girl friends. Let's try to meet up more often ladies!

1010. sleep. I don't nearly get enough these days, and we've just started sleep training with Desmond (resource: The No-Cry Sleep Solution.) but when I get a few consecutive hours it feels so nice!

Want to join me? Tell me what you're thankful for this week, or do a blog post of your own and link back, I'd love to read your list!

why today is awesome...

Parenthood has a lot of ups and downs, not even just within each month or week but literally within a 5 minute span you can have some of the most amazing moments with your children quickly followed by some insanely challenging ones. Can I get an amen mama's + daddy's?

Anyway, today has had just as many joys as challenges, just like any other day. However, there have been enough significant happy moments to make today a pretty good one so far.

Early this morning I threw some beef stew together in the crock pot and cleaned the kitchen, dining room and living room.

Later in the morning one of my best friends, Jamie, came over with her son Justice (who is almost one!) and we had breakfast. We hadn't seen each other in way too long because of sickness bouncing back and forth between our families over the last few months. Malakai had a few challenging moments, but really enjoyed seeing Justice.

After they left Kai needed a diaper change and on a whim I asked if he wanted to use the toilet (I know, here I go blogging about potty training). He asked to use the "white one", as opposed to his Elmo potty chair. He sat, but nothing. So we washed hands, but instead of a diaper I put underpants on. I decided to see if he'd sit on the Elmo chair in the living room for a bit. I got him some snacks, a cup of water and turned on the tv. He was content to sit and I just waited.

{yes, even Batman needs to learn to use the potty}

I walked in the other room to put the camera away and when I came back he had gone in the potty chair for the first time ever. I had not anticipated just how proud and excited I'd feel. I pulled a progress chart out of a Elmo training book Aunt Kristi got him forever ago and we put a sticker on. He got lots of hugs and high fives and was so excited! He even wanted to sit on it some more and try again, but that didn't last long.

Later he ended up wetting in his underwear and not telling me, but I just cleaned him up and went back to diapers for the rest of the morning. I didn't even care because I was so excited for his first success.

Then we peeled paper off broken crayons and he sorted the colors so we could melt them and make big flat crayons in a muffin tin. He colored a bit and we just had some quiet playtime.

Just after 1pm He ate a late lunch and started to get sleepy. For the past month I have been dreading nap time every afternoon. Kai hasn't been napping and for the past two weeks he'll fall asleep just before dinner in random places or doing random things.

I usually try nap right after lunch which ends up being between noon and 1pm. Today we started a bit later even though he woke up just before 7am, so he was pretty tired. At 2pm I picked him up, sang a silly song and laid him down while continuing to sing and he was fast asleep in less than a minute. Our second success of the day! I am so thrilled!

Both boys are sleeping, my house is clean, dinner is cooking itself and I've got a smile on my face. Today is a great day!

Thankful on a Thursday: sleep

Sleep has been a big issue in our house recently. Malakai is having a hard time taking naps. At 2 1/2 I'd question whether it was time to stop taking naps and just transition into quiet time in the afternoon BUT kiddo can't keep his eyes open after about 5:30. Last week he fell asleep reading books just before dinner and then again at the table.

Last night really took the cake. Kai refused to nap again and was really drowsy at 5pm. He got really cranky and was hurdling towards a total melt down. I whipped him up a grilled cheese sandwich because he said he was hungry. While I was cooking he sat at the table and zoned out, I put his food in front of him as quick as I could to get him to wake up, but instead this happened....

{If we're friends on facebook I'm sure you've seen this already}

I've never seen something so strange in my whole life. I didn't know it was possible to continue eating while asleep. My husband is a sleep walker and has some crazy stories, but none of them are this odd. I've seen kids fall asleep into their food or while eating, Kai did this just last week, but continuing to eat while asleep astounds me.

Anyway, all that to say that little mister is really keeping himself from getting the sleep he needs. Thankfully he passed out in the car on the way home from Grandma's after lunch today.

This week I'm thankful for...

981. my two boys, currently fast asleep, getting the rest they need.

982. Desmond sleeping through the night twice!

983. small group- I'm really enjoying getting to know people better.

984. a clean house (hosting small group is a great motivator to keep the house uncluttered!)

985. my tech guru- aka Ben.

986. a very productive week at work/home.

987. new shelves in my office.

988. crossing some projects off of my long to-do list.

989. getting to indulge my creative side here and there.

990. a happy and healthy family.

What are you thankful for this week?

8 weeks: sleep

Last night was a rough one, but not with Desmond. Kai woke up at 2am and was screaming at the top of his lungs. All he wanted was for Ben to hold him and walk around the room. He didn't want to lay down, he didn't want me to hold him, he wanted one thing and he was going to scream until it happened. Unfortunately, we could tell he wasn't feeling well so we wanted to soothe him. The hard part was that Ben's back was hurting, but he powered through and eventually got Kai to calm down enough to lay down with him in his new twin bed. About 2 hours later Ben came back to bed.

It's a bit strange that Desmond is already the better sleeper. He'll pretty much sleep in with me as long as I'm laying in bed and sometimes longer. He naps pretty well and occasionally puts himself to sleep, but gone are the days (it only lasted a week or so) when they'd magically nap at the same time and I could sleep too or get things done around the house. Currently Kai is fighting nap time and Desmond is passed out. Once Malakai falls asleep it'll be about time for Desmond to eat and he'll be wide awake til right about the time Malakai wakes up. Isn't that fun?

Despite the sleep issues around here and our very full schedule we had a pretty great weekend. Today Desmond is 8 weeks old. We won't have his 2 month appointment until next week, I'm guessing he's at our above 14lbs. We're all thinking he's grown a lot in length/height as well.

{he is such a happy boy}

I'll update later in the week about the details of our weekend. For now, I have to go in and try for the 10th time to get Kai to lay down.

the sleepless nights begin

Last night was a rough one, the most difficult we've had with Desmond yet. He didn't start really crying until last week, right after we discovered his ear infection. The past few days he's been passed out and then as soon as Ben + I get ready to climb into bed (9-10pmish) he acts hungry but when I go to nurse him he just scream and grunts, but won't eat. We've tried burping and then attempting to feed him over and over again. We've changed his diaper over and over (he has a bad rash right now, stinkin' antibiotics). We swaddle, and shush, and sway. He'll calm for a minute or two and then start all over again.

Last night it lasted for just over 3 hours and I couldn't help but sob some too. We snuggled him and prayed for relief. It was emotionally draining for both Ben and I, not being able to comfort your baby is the worst feeling in the world. He finally passed out at midnight snuggled up next to me. He slept for almost 5 hours straight, at which point I woke up really uncomfortable. I changed his diaper to wake him so he'd eat, and he ate just fine. No crying, or fussing- actually he fell back to sleep as soon as he started to nurse.

During all the crying, after about 90 minutes of Ben and I trading off trying to calm Desmond, he turned to me and asked "is this colic?". I wasn't sure until I looked up info on our pediatrician's website which said colic is 3+ hours of unexplained crying followed by normal behavior the rest of the time. Since it lasted that long before he fell asleep we're wondering if we are in for a colicy baby for a while, or if it's related to one or multiple other things: ear infection (which should feel better by now), diaper rash, thrush in his mouth, over tiredness, or fast letdown (he sometimes fusses and coughs when feeding during the day as well). It's so hard not knowing, I can't believe I forgot how terrible this felt. Kai had a couple hard nights as an infant too.

I have a newfound thankfulness for Malakai's ability to tell us what is bothering him for the most part. Also, despite our tiny house and sharing a bedroom wall, Malakai has never been disturbed by Desmond's night time crying. He may toss and turn a bit, but always stays asleep. Ben wondered aloud "how is he still asleep?!" I answered, "Jesus". God's power is honestly the only explanation for how that kid can sleep through the screaming that can be heard clearly in every corner of our 1000 square foot home.

Needless to say we are total zombies today. I feel bad that Ben works too far away to come home for a lunchtime snooze. If Kai would cooperate we'd go to bed earlier to get some rest before the crying sets in, but the timing just doesn't work out.

Once again, I'm requesting prayer. We are definitely experiencing a challenging season in our family right now. Thankfully, more often than not, we're able to focus on the blessings and find joy.

Thankful on a Thursday: ambitions

I know I've been quiet around here the past couple of weeks. I think that's pretty normal for the end of pregnancy. I've been plagued by some aches + pains (which was in fact a separated rib) amidst trying to complete that long before-baby-to-do list. It's interesting trying to find balance.

I had ambitions of doing a detailed update of what we've been up to and such today, but that's not going to happen. Last night Ben + I couldn't fall asleep because some recent goings-on were ruling our thoughts and we just couldn't stop talking it over. We got to sleep just after midnight, but I woke up again at 2am. I tossed + turned until just after 3am and decided I needed to just get up for at least a while. I did a whole lot of nothing and then attempting to sleep again just after 4am. When morning came and Kai was ready to get out of bed, mama had only slept 3 (non-consecutive) hours. Ouch.

Despite all that and the things that are still "wrong", I have plenty to be thankful for and need to sit down to remember them in gratitude and humility before my God.

This week I'm thankful for...

811. this morning's visit to my chiropractor. Rib is back in place, hips are back in alignment...let's hope they stay that way!

812. a trip to Starbucks for my first PSL of the season and a cinnamon swirl coffee cake. I haven't indulged in either in a VERY long time.

813. getting the creative juices flowing as I make birthday gifts for family members, it has been such a nice outlet that I haven't cultivated in far too long.

814. a blessed outcome despite many long phone calls and hold times with Target over registry + online ordering issues.

815. connections. We've had issues with some functions of our home once again, but Ben has a co-worker who hooked us up with a friend and a discount.

816. friends who are willing to give of their time + resources. Ben + the guys are putting in laminate floor to replace the tile in the kitchen + dining area in 2 weeks. I can't wait for it to be DONE!

817. Malakai's sweet nature. He gives hugs + kisses and says mama's clothes are "cute". He'll also give the occasional back rub and scalp massage...which often ends up as playing mama as a drum and flinging her hair in her face. Boys...

818. Ben's patience and ability to comfort. I would be lost without him as my other better half.

819. My mom + mother-in-law once again who both came to the rescue this week to babysit Kai while I prepped for an event coming up at our church this Sunday.

820. the nap that I'm about to take. I'm convinced that I will fall asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

What are you thankful for?

mornings

Mornings in the Pottorf household have been pretty rough this week. More than once Kai has decided to wake up far too early, leaving mama to crawl out of bed blurry eyed and groggy. Last night was particularly rough. Kai's 2-year molars are coming in and we suspect that was culprit. He struggled to go to sleep and woke up crying several times, which is very unlike him. At 5am he woke up and wasn't showing any signs of going back to sleep. Ben, being the wonderful husband and caring father that he is, skipped going to the gym to get Kai back to sleep. Miraculously he was successful and we all got to go back to sleep for a bit.

I'm still a bit groggy and have a lingering headache, but I'm not falling asleep on the couch like a few other mornings this week. Needless to say, we are really ready for the long weekend!

Happy Friday,

yawn

Sleeping has been rough lately. It comes with the territory, I know...I remember. Somehow I usually catch just enough sleep between the constant switching of sides. Once one hip or shoulder aches enough to wake me up, I flip over to the other side that is most likely still sore from sleeping on it the hour before. Even with my once magical pillow cocoon, I just don't get a very restful night's sleep.

Last night I didn't get to bed til late because Malakai was struggling to fall asleep. This morning I woke to Ben's alarm at 5am and could not get comfortable enough to fall asleep again. I tossed + turned for about an hour. Next my mind wakes up and there's no turning back, so I got up and quietly checked email and surfed the internet while Malakai slept. He actually woke up earlier than usual at 7am and we snuggled on the couch and watched Elmo. I dozed off here and there for a few minutes at a time, still awake enough to know Kai was sitting next to me and sometimes on me. It was miserable because I was then tired enough to sleep anywhere, but with my two year old up for the day I couldn't crawl back into bed to get any actual sleep. I haven't been this exhausted in a long time.

A morning like this sort of kills the mood for the rest of the day. I have a headache and am sick to my stomach. When Malakai takes his nap, I'll tidy up the house a bit and  jump in the shower and get ready for tonight's plans...and MAYBE if body + mind cooperate I'll take a little snooze too. It's interesting how much of an impact sleep or lack thereof has on the rest of one's existence, I don't much like it.

at this moment...

big boy bed: night time.

On Tuesday I converted Malakai's crib to a toddler bed. Nap time was interesting but I count it a success as I was anticipating much worse (like no nap at all and a lot of screaming). I figured that bed time would be a whole different story. It's dark, it's a longer stretch of sleep, and it usually takes him an hour to fall asleep anyway.

Following some advice I read in all my "toddler bed transition" research, we started bedtime early. (also because he only slept for a little over an hour at nap). It was going to be an hour earlier, but we got distracted by watching Malakai run back and forth across the house and purposefully fall down and then belly laugh. So, it was only half an hour earlier than usual.

At 7:30 Ben + Malakai went to settle down and have some quiet play time while I ran the bath. As per our usual routine, Ben gave him his bath. We let him linger in the tub a little longer to get all sleepified. Then I met them in his room and after getting his jammies on Malakai climbed into his bed on his own. He put his head on his pillow (which is a new addition) and kicked at the quilt (also new because of this). I snuck out, which is a newer part of the routine within the last few weeks because he's been acting severely attached to me.

Ben left his room and we sat in our bed next to the monitor to listen while surfing the internet. Malakai fussed for a bit on and off and then got super mad. What was strange is that we didn't hear him get out of bed as expected. When he sustained his crying for longer than we were comfortable with Ben went in, and Malakai was still in bed! Ben tried to soothe him but he wanted to be held. So he held him and walked him around the room for a little while and after a few refused attempts to put him down he left with the door open a crack so we could peek in.

Malakai fussed about being put down but calmed down rather quickly. He tossed + turned and fussed for a little while and then was quiet. By 8:30pm he was passed out, laying on his pillow, with his quilt pulled up to his ears.

We were SO PROUD! We couldn't stop gushing to each other about how amazed we were that he fell asleep so quickly and never even tried to get out of his bed. Although I did say that I wasn't going to celebrate yet, he could still easily wake up prematurely.

At 2:30 am Ben and I were startled awake by a crashing sound. Ben jumped out of bed but I stopped him and told him that the sound didn't come over the monitor so it wasn't from Malakai's room (which is what we both though at first, of course). Ben searched the house and found that our wireless switch for a hard-to-reach lamp had fallen off the wall, right outside Malakai's room. Kai made a slight stirring sound and never woke up.

He slept in his bed, all. night. long! How does that even happen? On the first night?! It was a miracle, I'm telling you. This morning we were beaming with pride at how quickly our sweet boy had adapted. Even more so when he woke up at 7am and chirped happily to himself, still in his bed, until I came in at 7:20 to get him up for the day.

{Miracles do happen people}

Again, I'm not going to celebrate too early and think that the rest of the transition will be as easy as this, but I'm still so proud of how well he did. All of this pride and celebration stems from our son's terrible sleep history. He did not sleep through the night until he was 15 months old and every time we'd travel or he'd get sick we'd have to sleep train all over again (No Cry Sleep Solution, Pantley). Hence our shock over such a painless transition.

Here's to hoping he continues to do so well, especially during the recovery from his upcoming surgery.








Don't forget to come back later today for Thankful on a Thursday!

big boy bed

After much debating, asking for advice from message boards and facebook friends, talking it over with Ben  on numerous occasions and weighing all the factors against each other, we converted Malakai's crib to a toddler bed.

I started to get tears in my eyes while I was taking the front off of his crib. It just looked so...grown up. Malakai didn't even notice that I was in his room taking his bed apart until I was finished, which was actually very helpful of course.

It was really easy to do and I'm so thankful that our crib came with all the necessary parts to make the conversion. It's funny how I didn't even want a convertible crib when we were shopping. I assumed we'd just use the crib for babies and get a toddler bed or use a twin bed when the crib was needed by the next little one. Now, with Kai's surgery pending and money being so tight, spending just $60 on a toddler bed is out of the realm of possibilities. We have roughly 6 months until the baby is born and possibly another six before he/she needs the crib so we've got at least a year before we need to worry about another bed.

We ultimately decided to make the change when not once, but twice, Malakai had gotten close to climbing out. His mattress has been on the lowest setting for a few months now and I surely don't want any broken bones. Originally we were going to hold out until he recovered from his surgery, even after it got pushed back by 4 weeks. Kai's climbing changed our plans and we figure we have just under 3 weeks to make the transition before his surgery. Ultimately if it comes time for his surgery and he's not fully acclimated to the bed we can very easily put the front of his crib back on during his recover and try again once he's back to his old self. Nothing's permanent.

Part of the debate over switching him had to do with his ability and tendency to climb other objects. His dresser isn't fit for the traditional latch locks so he could open the drawers or cupboards and climb up it. He hasn't done this yet, but I don't want him to discover it in the middle of the night. We're thinking of trying the magnetic "tot locks" (if you have an opinion or experience with this, email me!).

He also has a tendency to want to play, and play hard. He has never fallen asleep while playing so I was worried he'd never sleep. I know that's silly, but with Kai it's possible!

So yesterday after another fail at getting Kai to eat some veggies at lunch, we got washed up and changed for nap time. I went through the normal routine of reading to him, but this time it was while he sat in his bed, that he climbed into himself. Then I told him goodnight and left the room (with a baby gate secured in his doorway). He started to whine for me, which is a new stage he's just entered into, but usually just when I'm leaving. I had to reassure him multiple times that I wasn't leaving, that it was just nap time.

Finally I just had to walk away and let him be sad for a minute. It was probably even less than that before he was fine. He got out of his bed and wandered around his room. Over the next two hours I went in several times to reset him, I tried adding a comforter and pillow (both of which he doesn't sleep with) but the novelty wore off quickly.

 I tried laying next to his crib and he kept whispering "mama steepin". He lay down next to me at one point and started naming the parts of my face, then he proceeded to sit on my hip and bounce up and down.

Next I decided to just leave him alone and let him play until he was tired. He emptied the sheets + towels out of a cupboard, discovered he could reach his alarm clock, and knocked over a shelf. I removed all these things and more toys from his room. About 15 minutes later I heard him fuss, I peaked in and he was tucking himself in to his bed! I walked away for 5 minutes, peeked back in and he was passed out!

{blurry because I wanted to hurry so as not to wake him!}

Ultimately it only took 2 hours, which would seem like forever but I just made sure to stay calm, get support from some friends on facebook, and dedicate all my time to the task at hand instead of trying to get a chore done and being frustrated that he wouldn't sleep so I could work. It could have been much worse and I'm so proud that he actually climbed into bed and put himself to sleep.

But this was just nap time...









P.S. come back later today for the winner of the Cutie Clips Giveaway!

photo friday: snoozin' ((and a thank you))

Here's my boy + his "bwawdie" down for his nap at this very moment. He's so sweet + peaceful when he sleeps. He sometimes talks (just like his daddy), but whenever he's sleeping so still + quiet I can't help but watch for a little while (and try to snap a picture without waking him). 

Thank you to all of you that are praying and recruiting others to pray. I KNOW that Malakai is going to get through this and so are his mama + daddy, but it's just a heavy weight on my heart whenever I think about it. It doesn't help that I'm extra emo + constantly sick due to some very strong pregnancy hormones. So I'm doing my best to distract myself with other things and take joy in all our little moments. 

All the encouraging words and whispered prayers are such a blessing over us. I know in the grand scheme of things that this is a very very small bump in the road and that it'll be behind us soon. It could be much worse, others have it much much worse, so I don't want to whine too much around here. Despite that, thank you for reading and understanding where I'm coming from. It helps to be heard. 

We have a much needed weekend ahead with very little planned. 

Happy Weekend!

an event-ful week

Last week was packed with events, and surprisingly none of them were in relation to Christmas. On Thursday my Grandma turned 70 and we had a big celebration for her that evening.

{Great Grandpa + Gram}

Malakai had a lot of energy and was running all over the place. Ben + I took turns chasing him around. He also gave Uncle Cody, G'Pa, + Mima quite a workout.  

{our little blur}

Friday Ben was sick with some weird flu thing (AGAIN!) and Malakai's ear seemed to (STILL) be bothering him. Ben stayed home and I took Malakai for a follow up appointment. Thankfully his ears are perfectly fine. Unfortunately, he's still recovering from his cold. His glands are swollen + his throat is red, which could be why he's feeling pressure in his ears. Sadly he's been cranky more often than not and having a lot of difficulty napping + sleeping at night even with some pain relievers.

Saturday we were busy preparing for something awesome that I'll save for another post. Later that afternoon I went to my cousin's baby shower. Her little girl with be the 2nd great-grand on our side of the family + the first girl of her generation. 

I may have acquired a slight case of baby-fever watching her open all the adorable baby girl gifts. 

{me, my sister, cousin Angela, aunt Sarah, + cousin Valeena}

It was so much fun to spend time with family outside of the upcoming Christmas gatherings (we have 4 and our parents are all still married). 

Sunday was a whirlwind of a day that I'll also save for another more detailed post. It will include an interesting + exciting announcement, so check back for that!

How did you spend your weekend? I bet most of you were Christmas shopping!

P.S. don't forget to enter my current giveaway {ends 12.14.10}

getting there

Malakai hasn't been much of an independent sleeper. From day one he would sleep best snuggled up with Ben + I. At the time we weren't planning on co-sleeping and knew very little about it, but we learned and we loved it.

Around 5 months of age he started sleeping in his crib more regularly. By 8 months he refused to sleep in our bed at all (which made me a little sad). Yet he rarely slept through the night. He needed soothing to sleep at the beginning of bed time and 2-3 times in the middle of the night. It hasn't been a burden to us, we've gotten used to this routine.

A few months ago we knew that we needed some help assisting Malakai in his transition to independent sleep. Cry it out was never an option. It just doesn't work for any one of us in this household. I had heard great things about the book The No Cry Sleep Solution and ordered a copy from Amazon.

When it arrived, Ben and I read through it and then discussed the sleep solutions and habits we needed to create. We took notes and followed the plans, but quite fluidly. We never forced anything, but what worked best for us was to get a more solid routine going and to stick to that as closely as possible for as long as possible.

When Ben gets home in the early evening he has playtime with Malakai. They go get the mail together and run around the house until dinner time. After dinner we all hang out together and try to quiet things down a bit. Then it's bath, jammies, story time with daddy and bedtime. At bedtime Malakai transitioned from needing to be rocked until he was passed out asleep, to just recently refusing to be held and falling asleep on his own after a few minutes of snuggling his blankie {his lovey of choice}.

It sounds simple but we have waited a very long time for this. He'd fake us out here and there over the months by falling asleep on his own and/or sleeping through the night soundly, but it was never a consecutive event. All this time he has been getting enough sleep, and so have we, but he just needed help getting calm and comfortable to drift off. Often he would be fighting a cold or teething pain. The child has 12 teeth at 15 months old. All four of his molars hit him at once and one of them is all the way through.

There's no remedy or solution that fits every family. We have always done what works for us and will continue to do so. Now that I'm writing about this, Malakai could revert back to waking 2-3 times a night and needing to be rocked to sleep and that's okay. We'll do what he needs, when he needs it...I think that's called parenting.

Needless to say, I really recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution if you're looking for some good information on the science of sleep, ideas about gently setting routines, and great worksheets to help you get there.

The past week we've had time to unwind or get things done while Malakai sleeps and then get our own 8 hours of uninterrupted rest on top of that. We hardly know how to handle this new normal.

Now if only I could figure out how to get him to nap away from home...