life as we know it

The title of my blog has never been more true than now. It seems that we are taking on a new endeavor and fighting a new fight on a weekly basis. I keep finding myself asking God to guide us, give us wisdom, give us peace.

 Not to say that everything is bad, but we've had a lot of challenges and I've shed quite a few tears recently. I know that I am under severe attack as I continue to strengthen my knowledge of God and my service to His kingdom. The enemy does not like it, which is a good thing but a very very hard thing.

I am so thankful for the support and wise counsel that I find in Ben, we are such a great team these days and we are finding that in these storms we are becoming more and more solid in our marriage. I could not have asked for a better man to have at my side and as the head of our little family.

Our boys are finally healthy. Desmond got over his cough quite a while ago and Malakai is just finishing up antibiotics for a cough that lasted over a month. When I bought the meds last week the generic cost us $99! That was even after Target reduced it for us (it was $165). Ben's work just switched over insurance and because it was only a week into the new year we didn't have the cards. Thankfully the guy working at the pharmacy was super helpful, gave us everything we needed to process a refund once we had the insurance information. We got over half of our money back- praise!

My broken toe is finally feeling somewhat normal. I am easing myself back into normal footwear (I've been exclusively wearing my knock-off "Uggs" for the last 5 weeks) and I'm trying to not wrap it, but I'm not sure if it's too early. I've never had a broken bone so I don't really know what I'm doing here.

Our schedule has been fairly light in comparison to the holidays and it feels so nice. My house is {mostly} clean and organized and I feel like I've got a routine to keeping on top of the mess, well, at least in the kitchen. Currently there are two baskets of clean laundry behind me, waiting to be put away. I loathe putting laundry away. And...let's not even talk about the garage.

In a little over a week we are going to try to take the boys up to the mountains to play in the snow and the weekend after that is one of my best's bachelorette party in Portland and my husband's birthday! Our schedule is about to get crazy again, but perhaps it'll be a nice return to what started to become familiar after a sweet little break.

celebrating 5 years of wedded bliss

On July 7th Ben + I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. It's a small milestone, especially compared to the decades we plan to spend together. We decided to go away for the day/night, making it our first overnighter away from the boys for fun. Our 1st nights away from Kai were spent in the hospital when Desmond made his arrival. This was our very 1st night away from Desmond.

We hadn't done anything to celebrate except a quick dinner here in town since our 1st anniversary. Back in 2008 we spent a weekend at the coast, so we decided to do that again this year. We wanted to check out the River House Inn in Florence because it's right at the end of Old Town, so we could walk everywhere except the beach.

On Saturday morning we got ourselves and our boys ready to go to Mima's house, where we'd drop them off and our car so she could come back to our place for naps and the rest of our time away. Ben stopped for gas in the other car and met me there. I got Kai + Des all settled, chatted with my mom and joked with my dad about forgetting to leave them my car keys (and then I forgot to leave them my car keys...and they had to go to our house to get the other set, sorry guys!).

When we left Ben told me he had called the hotel to see if they do any free upgrades, as some do when they have openings. They don't...but he upgraded our room to the river view one anyway. It was such a lovely surprise!

When we got into town the first thing we did was run out onto the beach. Then we hurried to meet our dear friends, Michael and Megan, for a long overdue lunch in Old Town. We spent some time catching up and resolving to not let so much time go by before we see them again. We couldn't NOT see them while we were there, they live a block away from where we were staying!

Afterwards we checked into our room and I went straight to the balcony to take in our view.

$40 well spent. The other rooms had a view of the parking lot and the walk way. No thanks. 

We had a few hours before our dinner reservations at the Waterfront Depot (where we ate 4 years earlier), so we decided to go for a walk. 

{so blessed that this handsome man is mine}

We still had plenty of time to kill so we watched some HGtv (a channel we love but do not have) and enjoyed the quiet, uninterrupted time to ourselves. 

Once we were ready for dinner, I wanted to take a photo but didn't have the tripod. We tried a number of ways to prop the camera up and ultimately dared to put it on the balcony ledge. I love this photo so much, it's my profile picture on facebook right now, but that version is cropped. Here is the full version, 

This one makes me laugh because you can clearly tell the camera is balanced atop something, and our room is a disaster after on a few hours. We laughed about how "freeing" it was to leave our stuff lying around and not have to worry about one of our kids getting into it. We're wild ones, I tell ya, living on the edge!

We had a fantastic dinner and went for another walk afterwards. Ben suggested we walk along the river, after about 30 feet I got stuck in the mucky sand and we had to climb our way out. It wasn't pleasant at the time, but we were laughing hysterically anyway. 

The next day we slept in (SLEPT IN!!!), and took our time getting up for breakfast. We grabbed coffee and wandered Old Town again. Along the way we picked up prizes for our boys, and my parents as a thank you for enduring a sleepless night. We found some goodies at the dollar store that I was obnoxiously excited about, went to the beach again, had sushi for lunch, and grabbed ice cream at BJ's for the ride home. 

It was so much fun to spend time just the two of us and re-energize ourselves by taking some time away from the kids. Now that we've done it once, I'm looking forward to the next opportunity to do it again although it may be a while. Our boys were so excited to see us and it was such a joy to bring them a little something from our trip. Malakai still calls the magnifying glass that Ben picked out his "surprise". 

Happy Anniversary my love, each and every day as your wife is pure joy. Parenting with you is a dream come true. I love our life together and count myself blessed every moment. 

Thankful on a Thursday

This week I'm thankful for...

1061. All the hard work that went into our backyard makeover {now we just wait for the grass to grow!}

1062. The kiddos staying healthy despite both Ben + I being sick.

1063. Regaining my voice after almost a week of struggling to talk.

1064. The love and support of an amazing man.

1065. Our successful trip to Portland. So many things could have derailed the whole thing, but everything went smoothly.

1066. A fantastic boss and co- workers. I love my job!

1067. My busy boys. Des is such a speedy crawler now, he has taken to following Kai everywhere. Kai LOVES it.

1068. Getting some fun crafty supplies in the mail.

1069. Morning coffee ala French press.

1070. God's word with me wherever I go. 

{YouVersion Bible app}

Now on to a VERY busy weekend!

Mother's Day 2012

This Mother's Day I somehow got spoiled enough to be celebrated for the entire weekend. Friday night we went out to eat at Red Lobster with Ben's parents which was more to celebrate our finalized refinances, but we did Mother's Day gifts as well.

We gave Grandma Debbie a card colored by Malakai + a gift card to a local garden supply so she could pick out some flowers, veggie starts, or hanging baskets. Debbie gave me a potholder that she had decorated with the boys. I have one from two years ago with Kai's hands and this year I got foot prints from both boys.

After dinner the boys took some time to marvel at the lobsters, or "monsters".

On Saturday Ben made me waffles and gave me a map of what we'd be doing that day to celebrate Mother's Day.

First we went to the church for a Mother's Craft day for mom's to bring their kiddos and create crafts together. It was a ton of fun! Malakai and I did a few crafts while Des got passed around. Then Kai got a bit antsy so Ben (who was there serving treats to all the moms and kids) took him outside to play and I got some time to just make something on my own, which NEVER happens at home so it was really enjoyable.

Afterwards we headed to lunch and sat outside, which is one of my favorite things about summer time. It was a beautiful 80 degree day (quite rare for these parts if you aren't familiar). Next we headed home for nap time.

Lastly Ben thought we could go out to eat and then to the park by our old house, we compromised and packed a picnic dinner to take with us to the park. That way Kai wouldn't have to try to sit still for the 3rd time that day and we wouldn't be spending extra money. It was a lot of fun to see how the neighborhood has changed and play in the sun.

On our way home we picked up some ice cream for after the kids went to bed and then we went to bed early!

Sunday morning I headed for work (church) and while I was there Ben called me on facetime and showed me pictures online of my present from him...

he made me two trellises for my sugar snap peas! This was something I had saved on Pinterest and he and I had even discussed making at some point. He made them while at work and is finishing them up. I am so excited!

After church (work) we headed home and ate leftovers for lunch and watched a few shows while the boys napped. Once they woke up we headed out to G'Pa + Mima's to celebrate Mother's Day with them. On the way there Ben gave me my last gift that he and the boys had made together...

Something I had also pinned! Apparently I made Mother's Day gift ideas easy on them without even trying. I love it and it's in the frame that I got for my first first Mother's Day. (Speaking of, I just came across this surprise post that Ben wrote last year, I'm one blessed gal!).

Once we got to my parents' place we enjoyed the first swim of the year (the pool was FREEZING though) and ate dinner. We also gave my mom a card colored by Kai and a gift card to a garden supply place as well.

I enjoyed a restful weekend surrounded by loved ones. I'm so blessed to be loved so well by my husband and children.

Thankful on a Thursday- gratefulness.

So I haven't posted a Thankful list in almost 2 months. Apparently when I hit 1000 I subconsciously thought it was time for a break. I didn't realize just how long it had been (felt like maybe a week or two) until I looked back to find the last post. Yikes!

I was reminded this past Sunday during a really great sermon how important gratitude is. I need to remember all the blessings on a daily hourly basis. It helps to keep the grumpies in check.

Here's a small list of some recent things that I have to be thankful for...

1001. my health. I've been whining about this lingering cold (or whatever it is) but looking at the big picture I'm relatively healthy.

1002. fun grandparents for my kids. Both my parents + Ben's parents are so playful with our boys, they are so blessed to have grandparents who are happy to get on the floor or go outside and play with them.

1003. food. If you've been to our home you know our kitchen is TINY. It's the source of much frustration on my part when I'm trying to prepare meals, especially big ones. I get really irritated when it comes to storing large items. I digress. I am just thankful to have a home, a kitchen, and food to fill our bellies.

1004. jobs. So many people are jobless right now and are forced to relocate for work, or worse. Ben + I are well aware of how precious our jobs are. Not just for the income they provide our family, but because we both enjoy what we do and who we work with.

1005. saving money. We are in the middle of a refinance on our home. We already had a super low interest rate, but we have an opportunity to save even more per month once we're on the other side of this tedious process.

1006. My children love each other. Desmond grins and gets so happy he can't help but squirm when he sees Malakai, especially first thing in the morning. Likewise, Kai lights up and giggles just being in his brother's presence. I really hope this lasts for years to come!

1007. a happy marriage. "They" all tell you that marriage is a lot of work, and it's true. It's also beyond worth it. I couldn't imagine going through life without Ben, he's my soft place to land after a hard day.

1008. knowledge. I'm learning so many things with the new part of my job and I'm even able to apply them to the job I've been doing for over a year now. It's so nice to work with people who are willing to teach me what they know and show me patience as I learn.

1009. friends. One of my very best friends just recently got engaged and I'm over-the-moon excited for her! I can't wait to celebrate her big day. I also just appreciate the rare opportunities to sit and visit with my girl friends. Let's try to meet up more often ladies!

1010. sleep. I don't nearly get enough these days, and we've just started sleep training with Desmond (resource: The No-Cry Sleep Solution.) but when I get a few consecutive hours it feels so nice!

Want to join me? Tell me what you're thankful for this week, or do a blog post of your own and link back, I'd love to read your list!

happy birthday Ben!

Today is my amazing husband's birthday. We had a nice lunch out, just the two of us! It was short, but sweet.

Thankful on a Thursday

Wow, Thursday just keeps sneaking up on me. Since working twice as many hours the weeks have just been flying by! I was afraid when I first took on the additional role at work/church that I'd feel guilty about leaving my boys for about 10 hours a week. While I do miss them, I'm so much more productive when they're with grandma or mima that when we're together again I don't have as many other things on my mind. I can more easily focus all my attention on them and that is such a good feeling!

This week I'm thankful for...

971. God's work in my life. It's mysterious, and sometimes seems crazy, but it's always blessed.

972. my healthy growing boys. I'm a little scared to say it, but we've been free of sickness in our house for a long while now and it feels great!

973. synchronized naps. I will never stop being excited about this because it's such a rare and happy occasion (and it's occurring right now!)

974. quiet time with Ben. Another rarity is an early enough bedtime for both kiddos that Ben and I actually get some time for just us. I cherish it every time.

975. Grandma Debbie + Mima Tami = Ben's mom + my mom. They are instrumental to our survival each week.

976. With my increased hours will come increased income. I'm really excited to put that extra money into savings (thrilling, right?).

977. girl time. Yesterday when I was in the office, Liz + I were getting so talkative. She mentioned that it was some of her only "girl time" because she's often in the office by herself. I realized that it's some of my only "girl time" every week because I'm often at home with my boys!

978. the sun shining through my window. We haven't had much of a "winter", but I'm already looking forward to spring.

979. small group. We're hosting a church small group, it starts next week and I'm so excited!

980. new friends. I feel like through work and church I'm meeting a lot of new people and creating closer relationships with people I've only barely known. This is so good for me, as most stay at home/work at home moms probably know!

What are you thankful for this week?

the ups + downs of 30

Okay, I know I've only been 30 for a day, but my birthday was full of ups + downs. When Ben had asked me if I had a good birthday it was actually hard to answer him.

I'll start with the "downs" so that we can end this post on a positive note.

downs:

• still recovering from the stomach flu. I had a hard time figuring out what to eat to get my energy back because my stomach still feels so sensitive. 
• canceling our original dinner plans with friends- we did so ahead of time because of my being sick. 
• at one point I looked in the mirror and felt like I looked even older than 30...it wasn't very nice, but I'm hoping to attribute it to having been sick. 
• navigating my way through our disaster of a house all day. I still don't have enough energy to tidy up + it's starting to drive me crazy.
• not getting to eat my birthday cake. 
• feeling so awful after dinner that all I wanted to do was lay down and go to sleep. 
• Desmond being really fussy and inconsolable for about an hour before bed.
• not having enough time with my husband, the evening went by in a total blur.

ups:

• after waking up early both boys fell back to sleep and I got to snooze for an extra 40 minutes.
• a relatively tantrum free day.

• double naps! Kai went down easy (a miracle) and they napped at the same time for 2 hours. 
• sweet facebook messages + texts from countless friends + family.
• singing phone calls from my parents and then my grandparents. 
• having a living social deal for a coldstone icecream cake. (Those things are EXPENSIVE.) Due to my queasy tummy the whole thing is still in the freezer waiting for me. 
• thoughtful gifts from my boys: Ben typed out his version of Desmond's birth story for me (made me cry). Ben + Kai had picked out a necklace with Desmond's birthstone-opal (also made me cry). I already have earring in Kai's birthstone- ruby. 

• Malakai making me some "candles" and singing happy birthday (after insisting all day that it was Desmond's birthday, not mama's). 

• a free birthday dinner with my little family. both boys did great, it was Desmond's first restaurant experience and he just looked around and then slept. 
• snuggling up with Kai to help him fall asleep.
• falling asleep in a warm house, surrounded by the sweet family Ben + I have built. 

30 will be a great year!

ups and downs

As parents we all have ups and downs. Lately I've had countless of them within the same day, sometimes within the same hour. I made my first trip out of the house with both boys on my own. Malakai miraculously let me put pants on him (no really, it was actually a miracle), but I let him wear his pj shirt and didn't even attempt the jacket because I wanted to keep the morning scream-free. I waited to put his socks and shoes on til we arrived and he'd want to get out of the car. He was sweet and cooperative all the way out the door.

I fed Desmond just before we left and wore him in an Ergobaby carrier with Kai in the cart. The belts at our grocery store are not only questionable, but too small to fit around Malakai. Needless to say, I can't step away from the cart at all. He only attempted an escape a couple of times, and there was still no screaming! The trip was going so well that I stocked up on more than I was planning on getting so that I wouldn't have to go back anytime soon!

{sent this to daddy from the store for proof}

Our day started off well and I felt like a superhero for accomplishing a daunting task for the first time with such ease. Everything fell together so nicely. Of course, that meant that the rest of the day didn't go as planned. Kai took over an hour to go down for his nap. He kept taking his diaper off and a teeny part of me really wanted to just solve the problem with some packing tape! He didn't wake up til 4pm which meant he was difficult to get to sleep, even with pushing back his bedtime. 

Ben + I were chatting last night just before bed about how much we miss each other. It's odd to be in the same 900 square foot house with someone and yet miss them. Since our boys weren't cooperating for bedtime, Ben sat with Malakai while I tried to soothe Desmond. By the time they were both asleep we were exhausted in every sense of the word.

This is the season we are in and there are many joys along with the trials. I know that I'll miss this stage once our boys no longer need us at night and are gone to school all day, but sometimes it's just plain hard. In the middle of the difficult days I still find joy in my family. I'm so thankful for them and blessed that this is my life.







P.S. Don't forget to enter the Nourish Organics giveaway, it ends tomorrow night!

trials + transitions

Just as I lamented on Friday, my brain has been a bit mushy lately. It's frustrating to let others down. I get irritated with myself for not meeting others' expectations or my own. Part of the problem is I expect too much of myself. I try to do too much on my own, forgetting to rely on God and let Him guide me gently to where He wants me to be and what He wants me to do.

I really want to be careful about taking on too much before I'm ready. I've learned this lesson with the trials we've been through lately. I keep finding myself saying "it's been one thing after another" in reference to the events leading up to and following Desmond's birth. It feels like we haven't really had a break or any down time. I don't know why I would expect either of those things with a newborn and a toddler!

All that to say that I'm going to be very careful about what I take on. I'm going to do my best to immerse myself in prayer over the timing of things before making any decisions. Namely, transitioning back into my part-time job. I miss it and I want to take it on now, but I don't want to do it badly. I know that we need to figure out our new normal now that we're all healthy and Demond is beginning to exhibit some signs of a daily routine, before I add something else to the mix.

We've had some other personal hardships at home, and a big loss in our circle of family and friends. It has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life and I'm really looking forward to moving on and letting God's peace wash over me.

Friday I was planning on posting a feature and giveaway for all of you but I had forgotten an important component and ran out of time to get the information I needed. I hate to let people down in this way, but am so thankful for the grace I received in the process. Lucky for all of you, the giveaway will be up first thing tomorrow morning!

Thankful on a Thursday: support system

After posting about our rough night with Desmond I received a good amount of feedback and support from other mamas. Thanks so much for the suggestions and commiseration.

Our pediatrician had us come back in yesterday to make sure there wasn't something more than colic to Desmond's fits. Thankfully his ear is looking better and he is showing signs of the sickness nearing it's end. She also told us that gas meds like Mylicon are not really helpful, but that there's more research to back up the effectiveness of gripe water. So we went out and bought some last night. We gave him some and he only cried for about half an hour on and off. A HUGE improvement from the 3 hours straight in the evenings prior

This week I'm thankful for...

881. a support system of friends + acquaintances; online and in person.

882. a pediatrician we can trust and that we happen to adore.

883. Desmond napping through Malakai vomiting, taking a bath and needing me to sit with him til he fell asleep for nap this afternoon. No clue what's going on there...

884. the blogger app Ben added to my iPod, which is always by my side for Des' activity tracker. Please excuse future grammatical errors and such as I'm not the best at typing on it.

885. forgiveness.

886. reconciliation.

887. upcoming giveaways around here to treat my amazing readers with (coming soon!)

888. grace.

889. frozen meals: I've cooked maybe twice since Desmond was born between the pre-made meals and those brought fresh during the first couple weeks.

890. the power of prayer. (please pray for our friends' son Christian, he is 7 months old and in the hospital needing a miracle).

I've noticed a lot of you posting daily about what you're thankful for on facebook and twitter. It's so encouraging to see what others count as blessings.

time

I know I write about this too often but it's unbelievable how incredibly fast time has been passing me by. It still feels like just yesterday I met Desmond for the first time, but snoozing next to me is a chubby 3 week old, proof that much more time has passed that I'd like. I know a lot of parents wish away stages of their children's lives. Looking forward to when they can grasp a toy, eat solids, crawl, walk, talk, and more. I on the other hand would be happy to slow things down to keep my sons little for as long as possible. I do my best to just sit and watch them in the now, trying hard to memorize every little nuance. Hoping to hang on to all these moments with clarity would be the only advantage, in my opinion, to having photographic memory.

Not only have the weeks sped past too quickly, but the days and the hours are just melting away. Somehow Malakai slept in until 8am yesterday and after getting through some of our morning routines I sat down to look at the clock and it was already 10am. I could hardly believe two hours had passed me by in a blink. I don't know how life could go any faster, but I'm sure it won't be slowing down anytime soon. Despite having a cold, complete with nasty cough, Kai is full of energy. Desmond is obviously not on any sort of schedule yet so keeping him happy has me on my toes at all times.

The nice thing about the days going by fast is that it brings us to the afternoons when Ben gets home and we're all together again. Somehow, when daddy is here things slow down just a little bit.

Thankful on a Thursday

I wanted to post a few new pictures with this update, but time is escaping me. T-minus 3 days until Ben returns to work. I thought the last 2 years flew by since we've had Malakai but I'm thinking that two kids is going to make the days go by even faster. If you've discovered a way to slow down the clock, please share your secret.


This week I'm thankful for...

861. Desmond gaining weight. The kid is a marvel among the docs + nurses.

862. Relaxing and bonding time with my boys.

863. long stretches of sleep (and by long I mean 2-4 consecutive hours)

864. continually borrowing my in-laws DSLR camera to capture the daily goings on of my growing family.

865. a day at home with no events or expectations (I have some sort of stomach bug, so I needed the rest)

866. a free newborn + family session with a great photographer. I can't wait to see how the photos turned out.

867. once again, home-cooked meals from friends + family and a well stocked fridge, pantry, and freezer. I am so glad to not have to go to the grocery store anytime soon!

868. Ben's encouragement as we count down the days to his return to work and my new adventure as a mama to two. He makes me feel like I can do anything.

869. watching Malakai get to know and love his baby brother. He has been so sweet and a big help around the house already.

870. food on the table, gas in the car, clothes on my back, blankets on my bed and a roof over my head. Our God provides.


I'll be posting my birth story tomorrow.

Goodnight,

Thankful...

It is beyond evident what I'm thankful for this week...

851. the birth of our 2nd son, Desmond Lee. the days are FLYING by already.

852. Malakai's love + tenderness toward his new brother.

{the first meeting}

853. Ben's paternity leave to be home as we transition to a household of 4.

854. our health and wellbeing- Desmond weighed more at our 3 day follow up than he did when born!

855. generous friends + family bringing us meals to relieve me from cooking as I recover.

856. the ebb + flow of visitors. I love having visitors, it keeps us from getting cabin fever, but it's also nice when the day consists only of the 4 of us sleeping, eating, and bonding. 

857. gifts and flowers to welcome Desmond to the world.

{gorgeous flowers from church + Ben's work}

858. being able to run on adrenaline and love when sleep is hard to come by.

859. snuggling my sweet tiny newborn, taking in every little moment.

860. God's blessings- my cup runneth over. 

P.S. we'll be sure to type up our labor + delivery experience soon and share it with all of you. 

And now there are four...

Introducing Desmond Lee Pottorf

Born 10.10.11 at 6:12pm. 7lbs. 5oz. 20in. We are home and settling in to our new normal as a happy family of four. More info and details to come as time allows. 

at this moment...

I just wish you could hear the conversation. Only to be interrupted by Malakai grabbing his Bible and asking "Jesus? Jesus?"

{melt my heart}

Thankful on a Thursday

This week I'm thankful for...

821. Ben, for putting up with the major "nesting" going on around here lately and single-handedly clearing out + organizing the garage over the past weekend.

822. the comfort in knowing God is taking care of us amidst some stressful situations and the reminder those situations give us to seek + trust Him.

823. watching Malakai + daddy play in the dirt and water out back while I prepare dinner.

824. the cool mornings to get some air in the house before the heat hits...yes, our a/c is still out. I'm probably the only one in the valley wishing for fall to get here already.

825. watching Kai play pretend.

826. a happy + healthy family.

827. chiropractic care and my husband who reminds me to take it easy...especially when I think I already am.

828. online inspiration through pinterest and other sites for the boys' playroom. I've got a good list of DIY projects.

829. short afternoon naps to reenergize and continue on with the day at a normal pace.

830. despite the discomfort of late pregnancy, I'm beyond thankful for the sweet little baby growing in my belly and doing my best to enjoy the last few weeks we have to prepare for his arrival.

What are you thankful for?

Thankful on a Thursday: ambitions

I know I've been quiet around here the past couple of weeks. I think that's pretty normal for the end of pregnancy. I've been plagued by some aches + pains (which was in fact a separated rib) amidst trying to complete that long before-baby-to-do list. It's interesting trying to find balance.

I had ambitions of doing a detailed update of what we've been up to and such today, but that's not going to happen. Last night Ben + I couldn't fall asleep because some recent goings-on were ruling our thoughts and we just couldn't stop talking it over. We got to sleep just after midnight, but I woke up again at 2am. I tossed + turned until just after 3am and decided I needed to just get up for at least a while. I did a whole lot of nothing and then attempting to sleep again just after 4am. When morning came and Kai was ready to get out of bed, mama had only slept 3 (non-consecutive) hours. Ouch.

Despite all that and the things that are still "wrong", I have plenty to be thankful for and need to sit down to remember them in gratitude and humility before my God.

This week I'm thankful for...

811. this morning's visit to my chiropractor. Rib is back in place, hips are back in alignment...let's hope they stay that way!

812. a trip to Starbucks for my first PSL of the season and a cinnamon swirl coffee cake. I haven't indulged in either in a VERY long time.

813. getting the creative juices flowing as I make birthday gifts for family members, it has been such a nice outlet that I haven't cultivated in far too long.

814. a blessed outcome despite many long phone calls and hold times with Target over registry + online ordering issues.

815. connections. We've had issues with some functions of our home once again, but Ben has a co-worker who hooked us up with a friend and a discount.

816. friends who are willing to give of their time + resources. Ben + the guys are putting in laminate floor to replace the tile in the kitchen + dining area in 2 weeks. I can't wait for it to be DONE!

817. Malakai's sweet nature. He gives hugs + kisses and says mama's clothes are "cute". He'll also give the occasional back rub and scalp massage...which often ends up as playing mama as a drum and flinging her hair in her face. Boys...

818. Ben's patience and ability to comfort. I would be lost without him as my other better half.

819. My mom + mother-in-law once again who both came to the rescue this week to babysit Kai while I prepped for an event coming up at our church this Sunday.

820. the nap that I'm about to take. I'm convinced that I will fall asleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

What are you thankful for?

Thankful on a Thursday: Malakai + Mama

I'm doing my best, as welcoming little brother into our home gets closer, to shower Kai with some extra love + attention. He's a pretty independent kid so sometimes I have to remind myself to sit down and watch him or interact with him while he's playing. Often he won't let me play with him so I'll "play" beside him or just observe. We've been giving him lots of extra love through praise, hugs, kisses, and the like as well. It's obvious that he senses the change that's coming, and while he's not old enough to understand exactly what's coming, we do our best to explain it to him. I'm soaking in these days when it's just Malakai + Mama, knowing that pretty soon life will be VERY differnt.

This week I'm thankful for...

781. the joy our son brings us and others.


{currently obsessed with numbers + letters}

782. the blueberry cobbler sitting on my counter, awaiting the vanilla ice cream Ben will be bringing home tonight.

783. being able to stay home with Malakai- it's tough, money is tight, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


{teaching Kai how to take a self-portrait}

784. feeling little brother wiggle and squirm all day long.

785. snack food. I've been constantly hungry these days.

786. daydreaming with my husband about what our new son will be like, and look like.

787. lunch with Ben in the middle of the day after an appointment yesterday.

788. our glider rocker being fixed by my uncle. The frame broke at a weld almost a year ago. I'm so glad to not have to purchase a new one, especially because I'm quite attached to the thought of rocking all my babies in the same chair.

789. the patience + peace that God provides amidst particularly frustrating parenting moments.

790. a husband who loves our family with all of himself and takes care of us in every way possible.

Dear Malakai...

Dear sweet Malakai,
Today you are officially two years old. It's hard to believe that it has been a year since your 1st birthday and two since the day we saw your handsome face for the first time. You look even more like your daddy than ever before, but have a few of my features and a look all your own at the same time.

{7.16.09}

Over the last year you've become even more fiercely independent. I tend to describe you as a very strong willed child. You don't throw tantrums very often or for very long and I'm so thankful for that. However, on a rough day it makes it hard to know how to deal with your break downs because it's so rare. Although I see more fits in our near future. While it's exhausting I'm here to learn through this stage with you and come out better at communicating with one another on the other side.

You love to explore and figure out how things work. Buckles, buttons, and just about anything that comes apart or moves fascinates you. You've discovered digging in the dirt, collecting rocks, and a love of swimming. You are adventurous and fearless. If left to your own devices you would walk straight into the swimming pool or off the edge of the deck, you're still learning boundaries and what it means when something is dangerous. You do understand when you get hurt and will tell us by saying "hurt" or "ouch" and then "tiss" for a healing kiss from mama or daddy. We love that part, especially because it's most often nothing that really hurts you.

On the eve of your birthday you had your first big accident. You ran head first into a sharp cornered piece of furniture and it knocked you back hard. When I picked you up you had blood running down your face but you calmed down faster than mama did. Thankfully you didn't need stitches but the visit to the doctor was still an unpleasant one.

Over this year we have settled in to our 2nd home together, you learned to walk, had your first real sickness, tried many new "nummies", started to talk and do odd things in your sleep (just this past week you've taken to stripping from the waist down and falling asleep that way), you've memorized some of your favorite stories and read them to yourself,  you've also ripped many books and broken many crayons among other things,  you've destroyed almost every "baby proofing" device, you had your first haircut, you've learned the names of your closest loved ones, you experience your first and 2nd snow,  attempted potty learning but then  you have endured and overcome a painful hernia and surgery to correct it and the issue you had at birth, you've mastered nearly half the alphabet and quite a few numbers and love to sing the abc's and the birthday song, you love to sing + dance, you are increasingly polite; using please and thank you without being asked, you like to pray before meals and always say "may-men" afterwards, you are able to repeat just about any word thrown your way as long as you're in the right mood, you've developed a love of animals, you've learned to climb the furniture and love to empty your drawers in an attempt to find clothes for going outside, you can get yourself completely undressed and partially dressed, you still love to snuggle with mama + daddy on occasion, and so very much more...

I am so excited and blessed to continue to watch you as you learn and grown physically, mentally, and spiritually over yet another year. I pray that you never forget how deep our love is for you, especially once we welcome your little brother into our family in the fall. I am confident you will grow into the role of big brother quickly and enthusiastically. You are so strong and resilient and inspire me to be the same for you and our family.

Today is the first day of your THIRD year of life! Happy 2nd Birthday Malakai Benson, I love you very much.

Yours,
Mama.