Our 3 littles...

With a new baby and my oldest being 5 I'm seeing first hand how fleeting the baby days are. The saying, "babies don't keep" is painfully true. So I'm not only holding on tight to every little moment with Aurelia, but also each small interaction with Malakai and Desmond. They are growing so fast, too fast, and I want to make sure to remember all of it before I'm longing for these days, no matter how hard they seem (and are).

Aurelia is already 2 months old. It blows my mind that it's possible that we've been a family of 5 for 9 weeks. It seems like she just got here. Malakai is in his 3rd month of school, something that also seems impossible. Desmond just turned 3 last month and keeps us all very busy each day. Watching the 3 of them interact with each other is by far the best part of each day. The boys are sweet + gentle with "baby sister" and ask for her all morning until she's awake, then they clamor to see her and be the first one to make her smile.

Aurelia is cooing and gurgling and just making the best baby noises. She started smiling at 5 weeks old and I swear she's going to bless us with a giggle any day now. She's impossibly ticklish, but she just wiggles and grunts in response for now. She is growing like crazy and the number 1 compliment she gets these days is in reference to her sweet chubby cheeks and her little dimples. Her eyes are a bright blue but we would be pretty shocked if they stayed that way. The boys have Ben's hazel eyes (although Des' have a little green in them like Mima) and since her hair color already favors daddy's, I'm guessing her eyes will be the same. Only time will tell. 

Malakai is reading like crazy these days. He devours any book you give him almost immediately. The words he is able to read and the concepts he understands surprise me often. Ben + I are sad to see the days of spelling things to keep secrets in front of the kids go by, but we know Malakai is much too smart for us to get away with that anymore. I got to visit his class for their fall party on October 30th and I loved being a "fly on the wall" so to speak. Watching him interact with his friends and work on activities throughout the afternoon was such a joy. He loves school so much that he can hardly wait to get to his homework and he will make more "school work" for himself regularly. He's constantly writing letters to people and drawing pictures. He loves learning, but we do have to be careful he doesn't get too much of a good thing because he will get frustrated if he doesn't get it right or do it how he wants it done sometimes. 

Desmond is our imaginative little buddy. He is the best at playing pretend and making friends with strangers. He is talking all the time and any willing participant is a perfect playmate. He loves to make forts or pile blankets into "cars" to drive or  "airplanes" to fly. He loved being an astronaut with Malakai for Halloween and continues to play with his costume. Like Malakai he will quote movies and shows and recite books easily. If you aren't familiar with what he's been reading or watching lately his dialogue can be pretty confusing. Three has proved to be the hardest age in this household for the 2nd time around. Desmond has learned how to be defiant and throw a master tantrum, but boy can that kid snuggle!

These three are keeping us on our toes and the days are flying by faster than ever before. Sadly Malakai had a reoccurring double ear infection recently and we are waiting to hear back from insurance on whether they will authorize his getting tubes to prevent having the doozy of a winter we did last year. If they won't authorize it we may have to wait to see if he gets another infection with his next cold (because sickness is inevitable with kids of this age) and perhaps they will then see a need. We are hoping that won't be the case, so we can avoid him having to endure more pain or any hearing loss. 

Other than that and the boys having a mild cold earlier we've been able to stay fairly healthy so far this fall. I'm so thankful that Aurelia hasn't yet gotten sick but I'm sure we won't make it through the season unscathed. I can honestly attribute much of our healthy days to essential oils. I felt a cold (sore throat) coming on and used some On Guard/Shield/Thieves oil right away and felt better the same day. The boys' colds were relatively short lived and Desmond fared better than he ever has, as he's susceptible to breathing issues when he has any type of respiratory symptoms with a cold. I'm honestly so thankful to Amy for getting us started with eo's. If you have any questions about using essential oils, she's a wonderful resource...find here HERE.

So there's our little update, hopefully I'll be back to post sooner rather than later but only time (and my kiddos) will tell. 

I love being 4!

A few days ago we started counting how many more "sleeps" until Malakai's 4th Birthday. It was an easy way to put it in to terms he could understand and he enjoyed talking about how his birthday was getting closer each time we went to bed and woke up.

Last night Ben + I put streamers over his doorway to surprise him when he woke this morning. For my own amusement I made this little sign.

{4-year-old in progress. Do not disturb until 7.16 @7:20am}

 I also put a happy birthday sign across the hall that he'd see when he came out. When he woke up I stood in the hallway to watch his reaction. He poked his head around the corner, looked at me with a smile and said "what is this?". Once I explained it was a surprise for his birthday, he kept saying "I love my surprise!" He also said "I love being 4" and my personal favorite "Can I be 4 all the time?"

We headed out as soon as we could for our traditional birthday breakfast at the Original Pancake House. We started going for each of the boy's birthdays on Kai's 2nd birthday. It was a fun way to commemorate the day, start a tradition, and include daddy in the fun when it was a workday. 

The best part is having pictures of the same scenes but just a year later. Like Malakai and his straw. Last year it was a bit of a new thing to get a cup with a straw at a restaurant. This year he was a pro. 

It was apparent this year how engrained our tradition has become. Malakai sat down, looked at the menu and then promptly addressed our waitress "excuse me, I would like pancakes with a candle in a strawberry please." We are not restaurant goers, the boys get to get out to eat maybe 5 times a year, maximum. 

The boys enjoy coloring while we wait. They are pretty good at waiting on their food. 

{Malakai wrote out the alphabet twice on the back of his sheet after eating}

The best part is watching him get the birthday stack and blow out the candle after we sing...

The excitement I captured when he was 2 will probably always be my favorite. That picture is still my desktop background on my laptop. Pure joy. 

I'm also quite surprised at how little he has seemed to change from 3 years old to 4 years old. I think he did most of his growing in his legs this past year. He and Des are both quite "leggy" these days. 

We went on a handful of adventures after breakfast (see photos on Instagram!). We stopped at Skinner's Butte Park, then Eugene Public Library- after which Kai claimed to be very tired, so we headed home and after lunch let Kai veg out in front of a show while Des napped, then we took him outside to finger paint and he played with the neighbor boys. Once Desmond was up we walked over to the park near our house, after some play time we came home and read library books for over an hour. Everyone was really worn out so we let Kai pick a movie to watch, he picked Mary Poppins and we watched half before and half after dinner. Then we sang happy birthday and ate green cake in the shape of a 4. Baths, stories, bedtime and the day quickly came to a close. 

While Malakai finger painted outside I did ask him a few questions as sort of a "yearly interview". Lately he's not really into answering questions. His favorite reply is "nothing"...which I don't find all that amusing. I'll ask him what he did in Sunday school, what he wants to eat, etc and if he's not in the mood that's the answer I get. That, or he'll answer with whatever is around him...which is how this interview turned out...

Malakai, on your 4th birthday {interviewed by mama, while sitting under a tree + finger-painting}

What is your name? Malakai 

How old are you? 4

What is your favorite thing to do? (several "nothings") paint. 

What do you want to be when you grow up? painter. (he's such a stinker. later he said "I don't want to grow up."

What is your favorite food? pancakes.

Who do you like to spend time with? Charlie + Jacob (the neighbor boys, he was facing their house at the time...see what I mean?)

What do you do really well? (he had moved on from painting and was hitting the ground with a stick) bamming bees and spiders. 

What makes you laugh? When someone tickles me, like you or daddy. 

What is the best time of day? rest time, when I get to play.

What are you afraid of? stinky breath trees (I have no idea)

Who is your best friend? Charlie and Jacob. (these kids are 6 and 8 years old and he rarely plays with them, haha.)

What do you like to do with your family? play chalk.

What do you love to learn about? Trees and stuff. 

Where do you like to go? The restaurant to eat pancakes. 

What is your favorite book? Jake and The Pirates (a book from Grandma Debbie)

If you had one wish, what would it be? a tree to be big and giant. 

So, in retrospect, I should have asked these over breakfast when he wasn't so tired. Still, his answers are a funny snapshot and for me that's the point. Now here are a couple more things about Malakai according to mama...

Favorite colors: green and brown, in that order. 

He loves to play at the park, with puzzles, and listen to music. His favorites are the Jake and the Neverland Pirates soundtrack and Owl City. 

He picked his birthday party theme this year- "Rockin' Birthday! with guitars."

He likes to watch a handful of different shows: Special Agent Oso and Fireman Sam top the list lately. If we had more seasons of Jake, he'd be all over that. 

He loves to eat cheese pizza and hamburgers. 

He enjoys a lot of books. We checked out "Blue hat, Green hat" by Sandra Boynton today and he laughed hysterically, even after a dozen or so readings in a row. 

He loves to help with dishes, laundry, washing the car, watering plants. Anything that he gets to work on with daddy. 

He loves to wear shorts and T-shirts. He isn't very fond of pants and refuses to wear any shirts with a collar or buttons, even polos. He can dress himself well, but sometimes gets too grumpy and asks for help. 

He has a list of morning routines that he loves to follow, but he'll often ask if it's okay that his bed is a little messy. It's a twin size and quite tall so he has a hard time making it totally straight, I don't mind it at all. 

He adores Nate from down the street and is more gentle with his baby brother Luke than he ever has been with is own brother. He also loves playing with Justice, Titus, Liam, Kylan, and Jacob. He is also quite sweet with Jacob's sister Kacie, who is the same age as Desmond...brothers. Most of his playmates are within a year of his age but he also really loves to play with the big kids (under our supervision of course). He has a great memory and often talks about his friends Henry and cousin Caleb who he has only played with a handful of times recently (Henry he grew up with until about 2 years old). 

Malakai knows all about letters, reads handful of sight words and is getting better at sounding out new words all the time. He is pretty eager to read, but also gets frustrated easily. He hates to be in the sun for very long and always has to wear his sunglasses or he squints like crazy. He used to be shy about playing in water but can now swim with the help of a life jacket, but he does tread water and can swim the entire length of my parents in ground pool repeatedly. 

I can't believe our boy is already 4 and I have one short year until he's off to Kindergarten. He's growing up all too fast, but I couldn't be more proud of the boy he's becoming.

oh yeah, potty training...

It's totally not my thing to talk about my kids and their potty training (learning, etc...whatever you want to call it). I don't particularly enjoy facebook status updates about other peoples' kids and what they've done in the toilet...so I don't share about mine.

However, I do want to talk about the process a bit for sake of keeping record (as that is the primary reason I blog) and for those wondering what it's like for others. Especially in difficult situations like ours.

A tiny bit of back story- Malakai showed interest in going potty at 18 months. (Desmond is doing the same). Unfortunately he had a hernia and we had to quit until after his surgery to correct it 5 months later. We tried again after he turned 2 but he just wasn't interested, and our pediatrician advised us that if he wasn't able to stay dry through nap time, that he wasn't physically ready anyhow. She also said that if he didn't care about being clean, we'd also be wasting our time. 2 strikes against us, so we waited.

Once Kai turned 3 we tried several times but backed off once it became a power struggle, and it always did. We did charts with stickers and treats for using the toilet. None of it lasted for more than a week. He filled up a chart with stickers for using the toilet while still in pull-ups but it went nowhere after that.

Then we went straight to underwear a few times and he did better, but the power struggle would still come into play. Another big issue is that he wouldn't want to stop playing to go potty. We tried reminders and songs and setting timers and none of it helped for long enough to matter.

I listened to an MP3 audio at the height of my frustration a couple months ago, by Love and Logic. It was only $5 and I highly recommend it. Way quicker than reading a whole book and more realistic and helpful than any blogger who promises you can train your kiddo in a weekend.

I learned to back off, use empathy when he had accidents, and let him be in control of the process. I took deep breaths through some really frustrating accidents and setbacks and loved him no matter how badly I wanted to stop spending money on pull-ups... and he did it. He owned it and is doing so great. When he did have accidents during that time we'd just simply say "what a bummer, you can help me clean that up and we can try again." or "that's too bad, maybe you aren't quite ready for underwear yet, and that's okay." Those phrases seemed to motivate him more, especially when the alternative was having to wear pull-ups during the day (he didn't always care about wearing pull-ups but finally grew to prefer underwear).

He still needs an occasional reminder or incentive, but 90% of the time he manages it himself with no problems. For incentives, I don't mean a treat or a sticker, but just simple things like "I'll get out the markers after you take a potty break!" or let's pause your show and you can finish after you go potty." Works way better than chocolate chips for us.

Next is tackling staying dry overnight. He's in pull-ups at night, even though he wants to be in underwear, because I know he's not physically ready. I let him know that he can get up to go potty any time after bed and that once he wakes up with a dry pull-up in the morning he can wear underwear the next night.

So, if you find yourself in a rut with potty training, back off...let go of control and let your kiddo show you what he/she is capable of!

Desmond Lee: 18 months

Desmond is officially a year and a half old as of April 10th. He's such a big boy in so many ways! I thought it would be fun to do a comparison with Kai at this age (since I haven't done one in a while).

In these photos the boys are wearing the same hoodie, jeans, and boots. Des is slightly bigger than Kai was at this age, but not by a ton. I can't find Kai's 18 month stats to compare though. Malakai is on the left and Desmond on the right. I didn't pose Des, I just snapped pictures and then found the ones of Kai that looked the most similar in pose...

{picking up things and investigating them}

{walking around on the deck}

{squatting to reach things: not easy to do in boots}

{carrying things around and loving it}

Desmond is 33 inches tall (62%), 26lbs 11.5oz (63%). From memory I'm pretty sure Kai was not in the 60th percentile for height at this age. We often wonder if Des will surpass Kai in height, much like Ben and his younger brother.

One of the most notable things about Desmond's development is his speech and comprehension. (I'm in no way bragging here, just documenting). When the pediatrician asked how many words he could say, we had a really hard time answering. I explained that he can say almost any word you ask him to. She asked how many words he is not just repeating, but comprehends. What's funny, is that it's often evident that he comprehends them almost instantly based on his use of them again in reference to the object not only right then but in the future. I'm totally crediting Ben with handing down these skills as he is able to understand things quickly as well. Me? I am super visual and pretty hands on so I need examples and trial + error to really learn most things.

So- his most common used words and phrases are:

"Malakai" or "Kai"
"Mama"
"Daddy"
"nana" (banana"
"bagel"
"milk"
"cup"
"water"
"cookie"
"cracker"
"snack"
"pizza"
"sammich" (sandwich)
...noticing a trend here? Our boy likes to eat.
"up"
"hold you"
"help you?"
"no"
"yeah" or "yes"
"Cooz, Cooz" (Blue's Clues)
"ponies"
....just about every animal and their sound.
"my turn"
"thank you"
"welcome"(often said as "thank you- welcome")
"peez" (please)
"all done"
"more"
"cereal"
"I want it"
"I need it"
"have it"
"nuggle" (snuggle)
"read it"
"legos"
"wub you" (love you)
"happy" (how he refers to the "You are my sunshine" song/book)
"window"
"i-pod"
"cuh-yuh" (color)
"baff" (bath"
"nuh-night"
"cars"
"truck"
"Bye-bye"

and the list goes on.

He's becoming more and more independent, which has caused some obvious problems when it comes to playing with his brother. They start off okay at sharing most of the time, but it always turns into a struggle or a fight.

He is still enamored with climbing (as he has been since 6 months of age). He is obviously much better at it. We had to start using a sleep sack at 15 months old because he was climbing out of his crib on it's lowest setting. The sleep sack has already bought us 3 month and we're hoping for 2-6 more before we have to make the toddler bed transition. He often climbs to the top of our dining room table, always in 2 seconds flat.

He is super interested in potty learning. I'm sure it's from watching Malakai learn. He has actually used the toilet a handful of times. One day he went 3 times. We have him go every night before bath but we aren't putting any pressure on him, we've learned (the hard way) to be laid back about it.

We started cloth diapering really recently and I'll be sharing more on that soon. So far Desmond hasn't even seemed to notice a difference, thankfully!

Des is our snuggler. He loves the song/book "You Are My Sunshine" and asks for it by saying "happy?". He blows kisses whenever anyone says loves you or kisses.  He miraculously puts himself to sleep for 2-3 hours at nap time but struggles to do so at bed time. So much so that over the last 3 months he refuses to let me put him to bed at night, and will only sleep if Ben cradles him to sleep. He adamantly refuses to go down "drowsy but awake" and often struggles to soothe himself when he wakes in the middle of the night, although that's improving.

He loves pointing out animals and saying their names and the sounds they make. He is obsessed with Kai's room and trying to stand on the bed to look out the window. He loves to "read" and be read to. He's mastered the art of building a lego tower and he loves to color with crayons and markers. He knows a handful of signs, and always says the phrase while doing the signs.

Like I mentioned before, he LOVES to eat. His favorite is bananas. He will often ask for cookies because I shared one with him ONCE. He gets super cranky if we are late on snacks or meals and then is instantly happy again when he gets to eat. The only foods he isn't fond of lately are meats, which I think are a texture thing. If he's anything like Kai in this regard, I don't know if he'll ever eat chicken.

He's fairly mellow but is starting to exert himself when he wants something. He's been known to throw his weight around when throwing a fit, which is not a pretty sight. Otherwise he's super sweet, and I can't get enough of watching him grow.

Gymnastics Class!

This morning Kai had his very first gymnastics class. I snagged a groupon a few months back and knew it would come in handy when the weather started to cool down and my rowdy little boy would need a physical outlet. As I sat Kai down for the 10th time this morning to try to explain why he can't crush his baby brother, I was so thankful for the foresight I had in scheduling this little class for him.

A good friend came over to watch Desmond and away Malakai and I went. I hadn't told him about the class until today and he was already excited when I explained some of the things he'd get to do. He was especially looking forward to "jumping way up high!". I prepared him for having to let other kids take turns and that he'd have to listen to his teacher.

When we got there, I signed a few releases while his teacher introduced himself and asked Malakai his name and age. He answered proudly, "Kai...THREE!" (with his 3 fingers held high). Then we sat to wait for the class to start. He was really anxious to get out onto the mats, but waited rather patiently all the same.

At 11am he and just ONE other child, a 3 year old girl, followed the 2 teachers out to the mats. He listened attentively, followed directions, and learned quickly. I knew he was capable of all of these great things, but some days (most days) he doesn't perform them so perfectly for me at home. I was smiling the entire time, and so was he.

The little girl's mother, who had been bringing her daughter there for a year, was really impressed with Kai's abilities. Of course I was really proud to hear that. What a fun morning to watch my little sprout go off "by himself", take a class and excel.

It was so nice to have his first time be on a slow day, Kai could "ease" into it. Although, I'm not sure he really needed to.

{high five the big hand!}

{flamingo!}

He was so well worn out at the end he immediately asked for a PBJ. We talked about coming again soon and he got really excited. I can't wait for Ben to come and watch our kiddo shine!

Malakai's 1st Eye Exam

The more time passes and the more behind I get on posting certain events, the more reluctant I am to post current events...which means I get even further behind. SO at the risk of things being all out of order (ugh), I'm posting about something that happened TODAY. I haven't done this in forever, I think I might like it.

This morning Malakai and I dropped Desmond off with Grandma Debbie and headed to the eye doctor. I talked it up all morning, practiced a few things, and reminded him of the episode on Sesame Street when the little girl goes to the eye doctor. He was actually kind of excited about the whole thing by the time we got there.

He greeted the receptionist and was thrilled that they had toys. He even picked them up without being asked well before we were called back. I was wondering if I somehow had the wrong child with me.

Ben met us there, and they started with a few preliminary tests. This included the dreaded "air puff". Ben and I both have issues with this one. He cannot keep his eyes open to save his life and I will flinch without fail. I know it's coming but I have an uncontrollable reaction, it's terrible because the HAVE to continue doing it. Malakai got through the 1st eye with one try. The 2nd was a bit more challenging because he knew what was coming, but he did well. Afterward though he told the assistant "Don't do that again, it hurt my eye." I love his growing vocabulary and ability to express himself.

He did so well through all three of the 1st tests that I got a little emotional sitting there, realizing he's growing up. I'm going to be a puddle on the floor in 2 years when he goes off to Kindergarten. Somebody hold me.

Then we walked down the hall for a few other tests, just looking at cards with shapes and such to see what he could point out as they got smaller. He's not even a little bit colorblind and was happy to show off his knowledge of shapes. He refused to wear an eye patch or funny glasses though, even with the mention of "Jake and the Pirates".

Next Dr. M came in for a more in-depth exam and we could tell why were were having to pay big bucks (thank God for HSA) to be there. She was an expert at working with preschoolers and instead of pushing Kai to wear a patch or one sided glasses she let daddy cover one eye and then the other to get the same result.

We learned that at this age, all children are far sighted. Also, Malakai is slightly less far sighted than his peers, which isn't a problem. He does have astigmatism on one side and one eye performs slightly different from the other, but neither indicate a need for correction or vision therapy. Ben + I breathed a sigh of relief as Ben had to undergo pretty intense vision therapy at a young age and still wears a contact in one eye.

Afterwards Kai was pretty stoked that he got to come to work with me. He tore my office apart a couple times, but put it all back together by himself. He followed me around as I prepped the classes for Sunday. We had a blast together and I think I may take him to work with me more often if he so chooses. However, I think he enjoys his trips to Grandma's even more than hanging out with me on the job.

Somehow I was thinking today would be a lot more difficult, and am so thankful for how pleasant it turned out.

SHHH!

Malakai has this obnoxious habit of "shushing" people. I think it has a lot to do with testing boundaries and how his actions affect others. Of course he learned it from us when we ask him to be quiet when Des is asleep, but the way he does it is much more abrupt and comes across as rude. It's not our favorite...

That being said, if I hadn't captured him shushing me the other day, I wouldn't have had this striking comparison...

{click photo for larger version}

I just happened to be going through baby photos of Kai when he was 8 months (Desmond's current age) to compare him with his brother, but when I saw this funny picture I immediately thought of the one I took the other day. It's amazing to me that he used to be that baby...