our perfect babe...

...turns out he isn't doing as perfectly as we'd like.
When we checked out of the hospital, his pediatrician said everything looked great except she couldn't feel his left testicle. She said that they often descend over time and we'd check again at his follow up appointment. I was too happy about bringing my sweet boy home that I didn't let myself worry over it.

We had our follow up yesterday and she still didn't feel anything. She said it could be in his groin or it could be too high up like in his abdomen. So she ordered an ultrasound to locate it so we could make a plan for what to do next, if anything. She didn't seem too concerned but did talk us through what the possible next steps could be depending on different scenarios.

When she left the room I was buttoning Malakai back up and asked Ben how he was doing. Being the daddy I felt like he may be taking it hard. He said that he was doing fine and that we should just wait to see what the ultrasound shows. He asked me if I was okay and I just nodded, but couldn't look at him. I just kept buttoning Kai's onsie and trying not to cry. I didn't realize I was so upset by the news until that point.

Every parent wants their child to be the perfect picture of health. I know this could be nothing and I'm praying so hard that no interventions are needed, but it's the fear of the unknown (and probably the post-partum hormones) that have me worried.

Our ultrasound is bright and early tomorrow morning at 7am. So if you could pray for us or just send happy & healthy thoughts our way it is much needed and appreciated.

I know things could be much worse and I am beyond thankful for his overall well being and this is what I'm choosing to focus on as much as I possibly can.