Thankful on a Thursday: marriage

We're just settling in after our movie + dinner date in celebration of our 4th year of marriage. Now we start into year 5! I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend my days, weeks, months + years with than Ben.

This week I'm thankful for...

711. 4 happy years of marriage with many more to look forward to.
712. the most patient + loyal husband a woman could ask for.
713. a best friend to share each day with.
714. someone who "gets" me.
715. a playful and loving father for my sons.
716. a partner to learn the ins + outs of home-ownership and parenting with.
717. my soft place to land.
718. a sounding board for all life's dilemma's, big or small.
719. the talented musician filling our home with music.
720. the love of my life, the man I will grow old with.

what/who are you thankful for this week?

Thankful on a Thursday: loved

My house has just quietted down after twenty-some people gathered to eat, visit, and shower me with gifts. It was such a great time and I feel truly loved. I am so blessed to have such genuine + generous people in my life.

This week I'm thankful for...

441. a loving husband who goes above + beyond to make me feel special to him.

442. a fun + relaxing 29th birthday yesterday (more on that in a later post)

443. all our friends + family who came to celebrate with me this evening. I felt way too old to have a birthday party this year, but you all made it great!

444. the calm after the storm. It was a loud and crazy few hours, Malakai was running around like a little tornado. Now we're all in our comfies, Kai is fast asleep and it's quiet. shhhh

445. only 3 holiday returns. Besides an ill fitted pair of jammies I got for Ben, upgrading the blu-ray we received so we can stream Netflix, and exchanging a toy that was a little too big for Malakai, we got gifts that fit us perfectly this year.

446. leftovers. I won't have to shop until well after the new year thanks to the birthday leftovers from lunch out, ordering in, and today's gathering. love that.

447. a 5 hour fever. While it seems strange to be thankful for a fever, I was so glad and really surprised that it was so short lived. I came down with a low-grade 100.1 fever the night before my birthday, and woke up just a little achey, but fever-free.  God really does answer prayer!

448. you. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am so thankful for all my readers. You have turned my small part-time hobby into something much more than I would have ever imagined, and I'm so blessed.

449. our church family. I've come into my position at a particularly challenging time, but I am so blessed and amazed by the servant hearts I've encountered already.

450. Re-do's. We didn't get a photo of the 3 of us on Christmas day so we had a friend snap one tonight while the tree is still up. Looks convincing enough, right?

How is your week going? What are you thankful for?

parenthood + defining relationships

There are times in life that are significant in relationships. Challenges that show us who our friends truly are. Those who stick with us through a rough patch are the ones worth having around for good. There are others who you find are just good time friends that disappear when things get tough. I think we've all heard this, and most likely experienced it.

There are transitions in life like moving away, and  graduating from High School or College that take you into a new stage of life where friendships may change or dissolve. My mom always told me that this would happen, because she lost touch with all of her old friends. I was sure this could never happen to me.

I never expected being faced with defining relationships when things in life are going well, when it changes, but for the better. When Ben + I got married we saw less of some friends. Things like physical distance wasn't the issue, we just realized we were no longer getting invited to things. We'd have people over but rarely or never be invited in return. This obviously didn't happen with everyone, but enough people to make us wonder if it was normal.

The friends that we lost touch with, or just grew apart from were good ones, but not life long or best friends. It was a bummer, but not a significant loss.

Then we became parents. We were surrounded by loved ones who wanted to meet our son, support us, and be a part of this new adventure in our lives. Sadly, and quite unexpectedly, there were some that didn't make that effort. Perhaps they didn't want to overwhelm us, or they didn't know how to react. But, it has been about a year and a half and still little to no contact. Some friendships became one sided, calls and emails and attempts to get together were not returned. It's disappointing...heartbreaking.

What's worse are the excuses. The lamest excuse on the planet, in my opinion, is claiming busyness. No one is ever too busy to make time for those they care about. No one. If you care, you make time. Simple.

I do understand that once some friends are married, some aren't, some have kids, and some don't, that things can get complicated. When people have less in common than they used to, perhaps the motivation to continue the relationship is lost. There is a lot wrong with that to me. Shouldn't we all strive to have a diverse group of people with influence in our lives?

Perhaps there's a reason I'm missing. Most likely there's nothing I can do about it. To the friends, old + new, that have stuck around, made an effort, and continue to love and support us: Thank you. You are such a blessing.

date-a-versary

Five years ago today Ben + I became a couple. We had met about 7 months prior through mutual friends, then that fall we started hanging out more. I don't remember the exact day we first kissed, but it came before the relationship talk. Which, wasn't much of a talk at all really. We had just finished watching something at my apartment (I think Survivor) and were talking about how we had enjoyed stealing glances at one another around campus. It was fun to have a little bit of a secret that no one else knew about. But then Ben said, "what if we didn't keep it a secret?" Playing dumb I asked what he meant and that's when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Neither one of us was expecting a relationship when we first started hanging out. In fact, I had once playfully told him to make sure he didn't fall in love with me or anything. I think you usually find just what you need when you aren't searching for it.

We haven't celebrated our dating anniversary since we got married in 2007. We didn't really "celebrate" today other than recognizing the time that had passed. Five years feels like a long time, in a (very) good way.

{the very first photo we took together}

Happy Five Year Date-a-versary mi amor!

yours,

fellowship

Lately we've been out + about a lot. Malakai has been watched by friends + family more in the past 4 weeks than probably his whole life prior. We think that it's a very good thing, especially because he went to bed for his grandparents for the first time EVER! When we got that text on our way home last night, Ben + I did a celebratory cheer. We are so proud of our little bean.

Usually we are the definition of homebodies. The 3 of us prefer stick around the house playing on the floor, reading books, or just watching our son do his thing. When the weather permits we frequently take walks through the nearby neighborhoods with a stop at the park. After Kai's bedtime Ben + I love to snuggle up on the couch with the fuzzy (our favorite blanket) and watch all the Thursday night comedies that have piled up on our TiVo.

We've been making new connections, deepening relationships, getting out of the house and finding out what God wants to do with us. Sometimes Malakai tags along, other times he gets to go on new adventures at a friend's house or show his Grandma, Grandpa, Mema, or Aunt Nanner around his territory.

I've also realized since buying our own place in March that I've made more of an effort to invite people into our home. We've had friends, family + acquaintances over for dinner or just to hang out. I've discovered that I enjoy entertaining and I think having a place that is truly our own helped cultivate that.

While I'm sure we'll continue to enjoy our time spent in our home just the 3 of us, I'm glad we're branching out and sharing life with others more than we ever have before. This new frequency in fellowship has really brought us a joy that we didn't realize we were missing. It wasn't by a specific choice we made, but by people and opportunities that God put in place to realize there was something missing.

How have you made an effort to fellowship with others?

Thankful on a Thursday: influencing change

As those of you who have been reading here for a while know, I talk a lot about change (hence the name of this space). It's one of few things in this world that you can always count on. Much of it is out of our control, and I really prefer it that way. What I mean is, that I try to let go of as much as I can so that God can lead.

I also know that letting God lead doesn't mean waiting around for things to happen. Ecclesiastes 10:18 says "If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks." This is just one of many Biblical examples of why not to be stagnant in your faith.

It's important to find balance with God between taking control over your own affairs and not letting God's guidance in and sitting around doing nothing in the name of trusting in God. How unique is it to be a follower of Christ that we get to have a relationship with our God and commune with Him in this life through the Holy Spirit.

I am the most guilty of waiting idly for God to fix things when it comes to finances. I know it's important to trust in God for provision, but I also need to partner with Him and let Him guide me to solutions when there are problems. Easier said than done, but I'm trying.

Ben + I have also realized that we've let the romance in our relationship take a back burner to many things like home ownership and especially parenthood. It's the concept of the squeakiest wheel getting the oil first. I finally had to speak up a little louder for us to come to a realization that we were starting to fall behind in caring for our marriage.

We are far from having deep marital issues, and we show each other love + affection on a daily basis. However, we were still in a bit of a rut romantically. Each evening we'd both be so exhausted that after Malakai went to sleep we'd lazily sit in front of the tv until bedtime. It wasn't good enough, for either of us. We're influencing change that we finally realized needed to happen. We came together to do household tasks as a team, planned more family outings and more importantly date nights, we started doing small things for each other to show our love and bigger things to show our commitment. Since making these changes, while most are quite subtle, I've felt a big difference in my mood each day.

I am so thankful for :

351. change. good, bad + everything in between.

352. The Loerke's of Today's Letters. They have such a fun take on marriage. Ben + I have used some of the tips from their blog. If you haven't already, please check them out.

353. Our son who teaches us how to love in a new way each day.

354. relationships. I'm so blessed to have close family + friends in real life and through the internet.

355. my sweet husband who takes such good care of us physically, emotionally, + spiritually.

356. a chance to gather with other mom's at church this morning + make new connections.

357. our HVAC system. So much better than the space heaters we had at the old house in previous fall + winter chills.

358. again, Kai's grandmas. Both are always willing to babysit which allows us to go on date nights!

359. Malakai running around through the pumpkin patch, so much wonder + joy despite the clouds + rain.

{our little blur, running through the patch- more on this tomorrow}

360. as always, my God, Jehovah Jireh who is everything I need at all times.

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful on a Thursday: "Spiritual Calling"

Having some conflict this week with views on spiritual calling. In order to protect the parties involved I won't say much more.

Here's what I'm thankful for this week:

151. kind reminders from some twitter friends to focus in prayer when I alluded to the above situation.

152. the peace that prayer and God's word brings, even when understanding and resolution have yet to be reached.

153. the excitement that rises up every time Malakai stands on his own for 10 seconds.

154. love: the way it looks, the way it feels.

155. laughter: when it brings joy to a potential stressful situation, when it brings tears to our eyes and an ache in the belly, when it's almost silent because we don't want to wake the baby but can't help but laugh hysterically because Ben had chocolate sauce from his ice cream down his shirt and didn't notice til I hugged him and got it on mine too.

156. knowing what Ben is going to say before he says it.

157. healing: the way it looks, the way it feels.

158. new life: babies, weddings, graduations.

159. my mother-in-law's sewing talents

160. setting goals: we are going to try really hard to have a housewarming party by the end of the month, which means we have a LOT of work ahead of us.

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful on a Thursday: Marriage

Ben and I have only been married 2 years and 8 months but over that time we've been through quite a bit. We've been blessed and we've been challenged and there's no one else I'd rather have by my side.

I'm thankful for...

31. Ben's never ending patience.

32. his love for God and the way he prays over our meals and before bed.

33. his love of learning and willingness to try new things.

34. his knowledge about electronics, I'd never figure out how to get online or watch anything on the TiVo without him.

35. his musical talent. I love the hear him sing and watch him perform.

36. his perseverance. He has never let us go to bed before resolving a disagreement even with how stubborn I can be.

37. the millions of times that we know what the other is thinking or finish each others' sentences. It reminds us that we are a lot alike.

38. the way we never run out of conversation or get bored of each other. It reminds us that we're very different.

39. how he supports me in whatever I want to do.

40. how much he loves our son and the way he unreservedly shows Malakai affection.

Our Year

As we prepare to celebrate a new year I wanted to post some photos (and links) that represent 2009. 

January

I ended my first trimester of my first pregnancy

and Ben's hair made it's winter transformation (don't most men buzz their hair in the summer?)

and yes...he's making that apathetic face on purpose because he's a goober.

February

We celebrated Ben's birthday while I traveled for work for the last time!

(I have had to work long days on his birthday every year we've been together)

I started this blog...

and on February 26th we found out we were expecting our handsome BOY!

March

an unnecessarily dramatic visit to the hospital

April

my baby sister goes to prom & is crowned Queen!

Looking back this was the "cute" phase of my pregnancy, where my belly was big enough that I looked pregnant, but small enough that I wasn't knocking things over and my face wasn't swollen yet...

May

I got to celebrate Mother's Day by lounging around the house with my mom & of course- Bella.

and had 2 baby showers- one at work

and one at my in-laws house with all the ladies in my family

(MIL on left and my mom on the right)

where we got our crib...here's the video of us putting it together

June

Ben's turn to be lazy with my dad on Father's Day

My baby sister graduates High School & makes me feel so OLD

I have my last day of work at my alma mater where I'd been for 9 years

and a 3rd baby shower with my girlfriends near and far

July

Ben & I celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary on the 7th

and after weeks of early labor, 12 hours of active labor & 2 hours of pushing we meet our son
 Malakai Benson

August

We take a trip to the coast when Malakai is just 3 weeks old

We get a unique chance to settle in as a family of three for the first 6 weeks.

September
My sister starts her first year of college

Ben gets a new job (!) and so do I

Malakai is dedicated at our church

October

Ben & I go on our first post-baby date

and Malakai dresses up for his first Halloween

November
We enjoy the last bit of decent weather before being cooped up inside all day

Kai starts "solids"

sleeps through his first Thanksgiving

and we pick our Christmas tree the next day in record time

December

I go to the ballet (while daddy secretly prepares part of my birthday gift with Malakai)

We visit with some friends

and of course have Malakai's first Christmas

my birthday

and also...
Malakai starts rolling and sitting (for a few seconds)

and today he slept completely unswaddled for a full 40 minute nap!
(although this picture is from earlier this morning where he's half swaddled)

and tonight we will have a mild NYE celebration with my parents where I will obsessively play Beatles Rock Band (which my sister and I beat in one day last week).

As far as resolutions go, I have NEVER made one on New Year's and don't plan on starting. I think if I have something I'd like to stop doing or start doing I should do it at that moment.

Our 2009 was one of the best years of my life and I can't wait for what 2010 has in store.

Happy end of 2009 everyone!