dear sweet Malakai Benson boy...

{finished writing this at 7:30pm 7.15- which is when I went into labor a year ago. Posted at 7:20 am 7.16 the time Malakai was born}

Dear Malakai,

I had started writing you letters before you were even formed in my womb. I kept them to myself in a small paper notebook as I dreamed of meeting you someday. Once we found out that you were coming in July of last year life got busy and while I chronicled the journey I didn't write directly to you like I meant to until now, 12 months after your birth-day.

You have been such a sweet, happy, wonderful baby. While there were trying times as we all learned how to live together and take care of each other, it was and still is a very blissful experience being your mama. I now understand so much about the decisions your Mema made as I was growing up and have inherited her tendency to worry too much.

We've had an exciting journey this year and pretty much any plan I made from the day of your birth to now has been thrown out the window as you had your own way in mind. Instead of the 6 or less hours that the last 5 generations of women in my family have labored, it took us 12 hours to meet you face to face. You were worth every single painstaking minute.

When we brought you home we had a beautiful bassinet that had also been through 5 generations, but you preferred to sleep snuggled up to me. I didn't know much about co-sleeping but I learned quickly as that was the choice you made. From there your daddy and I became quite fond of baby led or "attachment" parenting, a concept we had barely even heard of before you were born.

As most {if not all} parents we learned as we went. Every baby, every parent, every family is different and we did what worked best for the three of us while nurturing your needs first. Daddy and I learned to function on less sleep and roll with the punches. We learned to love in a new way, a truly unconditional love that we hadn't yet imagined possible. You changed us, made us better.

You developed so quickly over this past year. Milestone after milestone, and so much teething! You love your plastic blocks and you always pick a matching pair, one for each hand, to tote around the house. You love to drop things from the changing table or high chair and say "uh-oh" as they fall. You are fiercely independent; you love to feed yourself, and started letting go almost as soon as you began to pull yourself to stand. You are super wiggly all the time, always ready to go,go,go! The past couple days you have taken to climbing up on daddy or I for hugs, I'll never get enough of this. Just this past week you went from taking your first independent steps to trying to walk any chance you get.

Watching you grow has been one of the most fulfilling and one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's happening so fast that I've learned to cherish every single moment of your life. I'm happy to have slowed down because of you, but sad when I think that your childhood will be gone before I know it.

We pray each and every day that you will know God as your personal Lord and Jesus as your Savior. We trust in Him to provide for all of us, to lead us in raising you, and to guide you on the path He will lay out before you.

Today is the first day of your 2nd year of life. Happy 1st Birthday Malakai Benson.
Love,
Mama